Damage.
My Story
What happens when no one cares for you anymore? Not even the ones that had once loved you. What happens when everyone hates you for something you’ve done? Something that is only understandable to yourself and no one else. What happens when everyone wished you never existed?
What happens when, you wish you could go back in time to change everything?
You go to jail. That’s what happens.
And that’s where I was headed now as I am being dragged by two security guards. It seems required to drag someone since I wasn’t even struggling. Anyways, as they hauled me to the hell hole I was sent to by the name of the law, I couldn’t help but wonder how many innocents these people have put away? Though, to think deeper, is anyone really innocent?
Has any one never done something bad in their whole entire life time?
That thought made me think back to when I was young. When I would do something bad and my mom would tell me to go up to my room to think about what I had done. And right now, it’s as if I was in the same exact position, except grown-up version. This version is very much longer.
You probably think I’m crying right now, but I’m not. I’m saving that for later when I’m alone. Where no one can see.
Though I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea not to cry, people may think I don’t regret what I did.
The truth is, I don’t know if I regret it or not. Do I?
I also realized that I had actually stopped more damage to spread into other people’s lives. The kind of damage that would have spread and affected everything before every body’s eyes. The damage that everyone would be clueless of the destruction it was igniting into their world. The damage they would only be able to see once it’s too late.
I personally think I did everyone a favor, a favor they didn’t know I did for them. Even if it wouldn’t be too late to tell them, they certainly wouldn’t believe me. They would think I’m some desperate person trying to find a reason not to go to jail. And I’m not even sure if I don’t deserve to go to jail. But I’ll certainly have time to think about that in my new cell which I arrived at quicker than I imagined. I looked around as I was now being pushed forwards in the small hallway by a new security guard. Physically, jail was nothing I had imagined. It was worse.
We stopped in front of an open cell and I was immediately pushed in. The sliding bars loudly clanked together, hurting my ears, and locked before the guard left without a word. I stood still, not bothering to take in my disgusting surroundings. I don’t know how long I was standing until, finally, my eyes started to drip all of the emotional pain I was feeling. I suddenly regretted what I had done more than anything in the world. Though I only regretted it because I suddenly felt utterly alone and I just couldn’t bring myself to imagine how alone I will be for the next years. I had destroyed the only thing that ever understood me for everybody else’s sake, just so they can be happy. So they can be happy without even knowing it. All the time that I had thought about them I never thought about how much it killed me inside. How much I broke my own heart. Suddenly, being selfless didn’t make me feel as good as people said it would. I didn’t find joy inside of me what-so-ever as I knew inside that I had made everyone else’s lives better. Probably because I had just made my life worse at the same time, thinking everything would be better.
What had I done to myself?
Oh, how much I wish I could go back in time right now! Though I know that’s impossible, that’s why I find that dying doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore… Maybe dying is the only answer I’ll get to all of my questions I am asking myself right now.
Though, before I die, you probably want to know my story.
All of the things I had on my to do list all of my life has now shrunk to only two things and I’ll be sure to do them.
I’m going to do the first one right now, at this moment.
I’m going to tell you my story. Then, when I’m done telling you my story, I’ll do the last thing that would be left on my list, which I’m pretty sure you already know what it is. .
So here you go. Here is my story.
Oh, and one last tip. Never fall in love. It’s horrible.
What happens when, you wish you could go back in time to change everything?
You go to jail. That’s what happens.
And that’s where I was headed now as I am being dragged by two security guards. It seems required to drag someone since I wasn’t even struggling. Anyways, as they hauled me to the hell hole I was sent to by the name of the law, I couldn’t help but wonder how many innocents these people have put away? Though, to think deeper, is anyone really innocent?
Has any one never done something bad in their whole entire life time?
That thought made me think back to when I was young. When I would do something bad and my mom would tell me to go up to my room to think about what I had done. And right now, it’s as if I was in the same exact position, except grown-up version. This version is very much longer.
You probably think I’m crying right now, but I’m not. I’m saving that for later when I’m alone. Where no one can see.
Though I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea not to cry, people may think I don’t regret what I did.
The truth is, I don’t know if I regret it or not. Do I?
I also realized that I had actually stopped more damage to spread into other people’s lives. The kind of damage that would have spread and affected everything before every body’s eyes. The damage that everyone would be clueless of the destruction it was igniting into their world. The damage they would only be able to see once it’s too late.
I personally think I did everyone a favor, a favor they didn’t know I did for them. Even if it wouldn’t be too late to tell them, they certainly wouldn’t believe me. They would think I’m some desperate person trying to find a reason not to go to jail. And I’m not even sure if I don’t deserve to go to jail. But I’ll certainly have time to think about that in my new cell which I arrived at quicker than I imagined. I looked around as I was now being pushed forwards in the small hallway by a new security guard. Physically, jail was nothing I had imagined. It was worse.
We stopped in front of an open cell and I was immediately pushed in. The sliding bars loudly clanked together, hurting my ears, and locked before the guard left without a word. I stood still, not bothering to take in my disgusting surroundings. I don’t know how long I was standing until, finally, my eyes started to drip all of the emotional pain I was feeling. I suddenly regretted what I had done more than anything in the world. Though I only regretted it because I suddenly felt utterly alone and I just couldn’t bring myself to imagine how alone I will be for the next years. I had destroyed the only thing that ever understood me for everybody else’s sake, just so they can be happy. So they can be happy without even knowing it. All the time that I had thought about them I never thought about how much it killed me inside. How much I broke my own heart. Suddenly, being selfless didn’t make me feel as good as people said it would. I didn’t find joy inside of me what-so-ever as I knew inside that I had made everyone else’s lives better. Probably because I had just made my life worse at the same time, thinking everything would be better.
What had I done to myself?
Oh, how much I wish I could go back in time right now! Though I know that’s impossible, that’s why I find that dying doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore… Maybe dying is the only answer I’ll get to all of my questions I am asking myself right now.
Though, before I die, you probably want to know my story.
All of the things I had on my to do list all of my life has now shrunk to only two things and I’ll be sure to do them.
I’m going to do the first one right now, at this moment.
I’m going to tell you my story. Then, when I’m done telling you my story, I’ll do the last thing that would be left on my list, which I’m pretty sure you already know what it is. .
So here you go. Here is my story.
Oh, and one last tip. Never fall in love. It’s horrible.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is just a one shot I wrote a few months ago and decided to post.