Uncle Good Riddance

“Where the hell have you been?” Tre grabbed me into a back breaking hug. I tried to push him away but he held me tight.

“Get. Off.” I managed to muffle out, my face pinned into his chest. Tre allowed me a little bit of room and gently rubbed my back.

“Where have you been?” Mike asked. I shrugged.

“Staying with a friend.” Tre's face flashed with anger.

“You've been staying with him haven't you. You've been staying with that Will.” He sounded hurt.

“Where else was I meant to go, eh Tre?!” I pushed him away from me.

“Bo, we've just been so worried about you okay.” Mike said looking at me and being incredibly nice to me. “Come on, we'll take you home.” He went to grab my arm and I shook it from his grip.

“No, leave me alone.” Tre gave me a stern look. “What?”

“Bodaceia. You have got to come back to Billie's with you.” He said plainly. I shook my head at him.

“Just please,” I took a deep breath “Please leave me alone. I gotta work this out on my own yeah?” Mike gave me an unsure look but found himself nodding.

“Okay, Bodaceia. We'll let you work this out by yourself. But you have got to give us the address of where your staying.” He said calmly.

“No, Mike. You have got to be kidding me!” Tre fumed. “No, Bo, you gotta come home with me. Come back to mine with me like you were meant to!” His face looked like it was torn between fear, sadness and anger. For a moment, you know what I nearly caved in, jumped into Tre's arms, confessed my undying love for him and lived happily ever after.

But I knew I would never be strong if I ever did that.

“Tre, leave me be. I'll forgive you so much easier if I am left to go through this alone and work through it at my own pace.” He grabbed my hands and held them close to his chest. I could feel his heart beating nervously through his teeshirt.

“You feel that, Bodaceia Armstrong? That is my love for you, and it will never stop and it will never end. I love you.” My heart almost broke but I had to stay strong.

“I love you too Tre Cool. But I can't let you walk all over me like you tried to last night. I gotta be strong.” I gave his hands a tight squeeze and slowly let go. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I'll ring you, soon.” I walked down the alley and I heard Mike consoling Tre. Tears came to my eyes but I gulped them away. I had to be strong. I couldn't afford to fall at this hurdle.

Throughout my childhood, me and my mother always had to move around because she kept falling into the wrong kind of relationships. She kept falling for guys who would treat us worse than dirt, who would hit her, who would be possessive and stop her living her life, who would try and take up all her time and leave me in the corner. The only way she knew how to get stronger was to run away from them every time and it was so scary sometimes. I want to be strong before I bring a child into the world. I have to be. I owe it to myself, to my mother, and to my baby. I refuse to bring my child into a world of hurt, like my mother brought me into.

***

“Hey you. I was getting worried. So what happened?” Will smiled at me as I opened the door to the apartment. I collasped onto the sofa, screaming into one of the cushions. “Oi, missy, they are good cushions!” He laughed. I turned over and saw him looking at me over the sofa back, me lying on my back on the sofa.

“Today. Was. Horrible.” I growled out. He ruffled my hair and walked into the kitchen.

“Don't worry, it takes time to find a job, you can't just expect one to fall into your lap.” He said, clicking on the kettle. I turned over so I lying up on my stomach, balancing on my elbows, watching him over the arm of the sofa.

“It's not the job thing, although my god that was stressful.” He looked over at me, getting two mugs out of the cupboard.

“Tea?”

“Please. I saw Tre and Mike today.” I said simply, acting like it was nothing. He pulled a face at me that made me crack a smile.

“God, sounds like fun. Go on then, I know your dying to tell me what happened.”

“They chased me down an alley, and then let me go.” I shrugged, sitting up properly after getting very uncomfortable on my stomach – forgetting a baby was trying to grow in my stomach right now.

Will started to laugh.

“What?” He managed to choke out.

“It's not funny! It was scary!” I pouted at him. He managed to try and contain his composure. “Okay, laugh, I know you want to.”

“No, okay I want to know what seriously happened.” He managed to say after five minutes of laughing at me.

“I was sat relaxing in a cafe, having a lovely lemonade, when I saw Tre walk past. Fearing he would spot me, I left quickly and walked straight into Mike. He recognised me. I ran. They chased. Ended up down an alley. Talked some. I left. Came home. End of story.” Will brought over my tea and sat down next to me on the sofa.

“That it? You seem a little unnerved by it?” He noticed. I shrugged, taking a slurp of my tea and very quickly regretted that decision as the hot liquid burnt my mouth. Will smirked, trying to hide behind his over mug of coffee as I ran to get a glass of water out of the tap.

“It's just because Tre was all 'I love you, come back to live with me where your supposed to be.' And all that. I don't know. I gotta be strong you know?” I shrugged at him. I sat back down next to him and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed them protectively.

“It'll get easier.” Was all he could say. I smiled weakly, thinking that this was never going to get easier.

“How come your not at the bar anyway?” I asked.

“It's a Tuesday. I always have Tuesday night off.” He smiled. “Now what do you say to a chinese take away and a DVD?”

“Actually, can I ask a massive favour? I really need to ring my mother like soon as.” I gave him puppy dog eyes and he rolled his own. He threw me the portable phone which lay on the coffee table in front of us.

“Knock yourself out. I'll go get the take away and movie okay?” He got up from the sofa and kissed my forehead, whilst I got down to dialling my mother's number. This was going to be a difficult conversation.

***

“You've done what?!” She fumed. “I sent you there to behave and now I found out your pregnant?!” I had to hold the phone away from my ear, her voice was so goddamn loud.

“Please calm down.” Was all I could reply.

“Put Billie on.” I took a deep breath and waited for the next outburst from her.

“YouseeI'mnotstayingatBillie'satthemoment.” I garbled out quickly, all my words running into one another. I shut my eyes as I heard her take her own deep breath.

“Where the fuck are you right at this moment right?” She said calmly.

“Well I made a friend while I'm here and I am currently staying in his spare room.” I whispered. The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. “Mam? Say something? Are you still there?” I asked, getting worried.

“Bodaceia, I don't know what to say to you. Pregnant by one man, one 30 year old PLUS man can I point out, and staying in another man's apartment. Well honestly, this truly is a new low for you.” She said. I heard the disappointment in her voice and the disgust in her voice.

“Mam, okay, I love Tre. I really do.”

“Bodaceia, you don't know what love is!” She shouted at me.

“You were my age when you ran off to London by yourself so don't you dare act all high and mighty with me!”

“Exactly Bodaceia, I know you are ruining your life by having a child this young.” I knew exactly what she was saying.

“What, like you ruined your life by having me at 21?” I shot back. She was silent. “Thank you, Holly. The silence says everything.” I slammed my finger on the end call bottom and threw it to the floor.

I grabbed a cushion and sobbed my heart into it.