Uncle Good Riddance

“It's been 5 hours! When will it come out?” I groaned, sweat making my hair plaster to my face, as Tre mopped up my forehead.

“Don't worry baby girl, not long now. Contractions are five minutes apart right? Soon they'll be two. And soon they'll be one.” He tried to console me. Tears were in my eyes constantly now but my god the consoling was not helping one little bit.

“Please, Tre, please make it stop, please get this damn devil child out of me!” I begged him.

“How we doing, Ms Armstrong?” A woman doctor walked into the room and asked me sweetly.

“I want it out of me right now.” I said, plainly, gasping and groaning as another contraction came and I squeezed Tre's hand tightly.

“Okay, so contractions are every five minutes apart right?” She asked, taking a look to see how far dilated I am now.

“Why is she taking so long?” I groaned, as it subsided.

“First babies usually do. It's a curse and a blessing. Scientists believe it's so the body is used to labour for the next time you go through it.” She smiled. “Do you know the baby is a girl?”

“No, she just believes it is. I believe our baby is a boy.” Tre laughed with the doctor.

“Please don't laugh at me!” I moaned. Tre cooed sweetly to me.

“By my expectations, you should be giving birth, within the next...” The doctor did some sums in her head, “In about 5 hours.” She smiled at me like I was meant to be happy about it.

“5 HOURS?!” I shouted. “5 FUCKING HOURS?!?! No I can't deal with this. No please. No I want to get this demon out of me right now!” I demanded, unreasonably.

“Ms Armstrong. I know this can be difficult, but please try and stay as calm as possible.” The doctor smiled, taking down a few more notes.

“How many children have you had?!”

“Five. All natural births. I couldn't be a midwifery doctor without knowing what women go through to have a baby.” She smiled at me, before she left the room.

“What a bitch.” I said, lying back, eyes closing, sleepily. It was a very quick sleep, before another contraction came and jolted me straight out of my peaceful rest.

“Oh Treeeeeeeeeeee! Have this damn child for me!” I sobbed as it subsided.

“Knock, knock! Heard someone was popping out a baby today?” Will's head popped round the door and smiled at me. “Had it yet?”

“Does it sound like it?!” I snapped.

“Okay calm down fatty, how long have you been in this state for?”

“8 months and 3 weeks. I want it to end. Right now!” Will set down a giant gorilla soft toy on the soft chair in the corner of the room.

“Hey nice present man!” Tre smiled at the gorilla and actually got up to touch it and cuddle in.

“Well done Will, I am going to have to thank you for bringing along a Tre Distracter with you, thank you.” I said sarcastically.

“Did you know, your whole family is practically out in the corridor?” He pointed out the door. “Mike's there, Billie, Adrienne, your mom, your grandmom, an aunty. I got a whole introduction.” He beamed.

“That's nice.” I closed my eyes.

“So when is it coming out? Aren't you bored of this yet? Why don't you just push?” Will asked me, the tone of his voice suggesting that he was smirking at me.

“I swear, if you have just come here to piss me off, then leave right now. I am too tired to deal with this.”

“Okay, I'm sorry.” He apologised sincerely. I opened my eyes a crack and smiled weakly.

“Ah ah ah, TRE ANOTHER ONE!”

“Hey baby, this one came only four minutes after the last one.” Tre brought over the massive gorilla. “Hug it, he is so soft!” He said excitedly.

“Tre, darling,” My voice was dangerously soft. “I am trying to get your baby out of my vagina right now, a massive gorilla to hug is not what I need.” I smirked as both boys winced at the word 'vagina'.

“Whys it my baby now?” He asked hurt putting the gorilla back softly, obviously not wanting to hurt it.

“Because its stubborn and it will not come out.” I groaned.

“TRE!” Billie and Mike came into the room, excitedly. “Can we play with the gorilla?!” They were fighting over which one would carry it.

“JUST TAKE IT!” I shouted as another contraction came whilst Tre was playing 'eeny-meeny-miny-mo' with two grown men to see which one could play with the gorilla first.

“Okay baby mama, I am going to wait outside until the scary part is over and you have a baby in your arms.” Will gave my hand a quick squeeze and made his escape.