Shame Shame on Me

Sonny and I were walking around and ran by Cuddles again. He told Sonny that he had a message from the band, it was: "Get your ass over here! We need your help setting up in an hour."

I kissed him as he left with Ricky, running toward the stage. I sighed, walking to the nearest snack bar. I bought a pack of saltines and a large bottle of water, walking to the side of a trailer and leaning against it. I ate in silence, watching the people around me goof off and listening to their conversations.

One couple caught my eye, specifically because the girl reminded me of someone I briefly knew in high school, when I went. Her hair was a deep, Smurf-like blue, she wore a blue spaghetti-strap tank top that showed off her small stomach, and a pair of black and blue Tripp pants. She was thin, not very, but still thin. She was probably three or more inches taller than me, and looked about my age. She casually lit up a cigarette and inhaled, smiling and laughing a little bit, toying around with her partner. They kissed, and I thought it was cute. They looked like a very close couple, but he looked a little older than her. I'll guess nineteen.

I continued to watch them, absent-mindedly munching on crackers until they were gone. I frowned at my empty hand that I attempted to eat just seconds before and went to purchase two more. I ended up bumping into her, the girl with the Smurf-ish hair. Her boyfriend, though, was talking to a dangerously skinny bald boy with a weird-looking mustache.

She apologized, but I blurted out, "Do I know you from somewhere?" She looked at me weirdly, as the lady at the counter handed me my two packs of crackers.

"Erm, I don't think I've seen you anywhere. But you do remind me of someone." I was disappointed.

"I'm sorry, you look like someone I was friends with in high school, you wouldn't happen you have gone to Providence City High, by any chance?" the Smurf-girl looked at me surprised.

"Yes, I graduated a few months ago. Actually, I remember that you remind me of someone I went to school with. She was in my chemistry class. What's your name?"

"Emily Smith. And you?" Hoping she would say my acquaintance's name.

"Jillian Coffel! You were my chemistry partner!" she exclaimed, hugging me. We began to walk away from the snack bar to where her boyfriend and his buddy were standing.

"Yeah! I remember now! We were pretty close friends then, weren't we?"

"Yeah, but then you stopped coming to school... and then we all saw you on the news. I'm so sorry for what happened to you, I hear that guy's getting transfered to Texas for the death penalty. Serves him right!" She said, smiling at me. I smiled back, pushing the bad points of what she said to the back of my mind, trying not to ruin the moment.

"I know... I'm okay now. My boyfriend and I are much happier now that we're back together again... I mean the guy I was dating before all that," I said, grinning at the ground. I looked back up at Jillian, "He's with a few friends right now. I wish he were here though."

"I'm glad you're happy now. I was so sad when I saw that report. Everyone at school started calling you Ghost Girl once you left, but they backed off when your story was on the news."

"Wow, I was actually popular, and I wasn't even there to enjoy it!" I said sarcastically, laughing with my friend. We got back to her friends, and introduced me. Her boyfriend was Chris, who was twenty... so I was off slightly, and his friend was Jimmy. They were really nice and so awesome! We laughed at each other's jokes and stories, and just had a damn good time.

I heard someone come on stage and they threw a few shirts into the crowd before they made the announcement that From First To Last was coming up next. I turned around to see, and sure enough, the techs were setting up the stage with the Heroine album stuff, Derek's drum set and the graphic on the front. I smiled, but everyone behind me was quiet. I turned back around and they were looking at my hip. I looked down, and my shirt had shifted, and my laminate flopped out. I cursed mentally, but didn't show it and casually pulled my shirt down.

"What're you guys staring at?" I asked. It was a really stupid question, and I regretted being so dumb for that moment.

"You have the laminate pass," Jillian stated.

"Yeah. I got it from my brother, he works in the music recording industry."

"Really? That's pretty cool, but why is there KVLT on it?" Chris asked.

"I'm a member," I started to run out of excuses.

"I didn't know you got passes exclusively from KVLT! I would have joined a long ass time ago!" Chris said, shocked. I was mentally sighing in relief. They guys didn't want anyone knowing about me only because they don't want people all over me, and I know by simply watching that it's pretty fucking annoying.

"Well, you still have to buy them, but my brother gets a nice discount," I smiled. The three in front of me looked slightly jealous. I asked it they wanted to come with me to the crowd before it got too difficult to move, Chris and Jillian agreed, but Jimmy said he had to go.

While we made our way over there I munched on one of the packs of crackers, shoving the other one in my pocket. There was a good spot in the middle, not too far from the front, and we had gotten there right in time, because everyone was on their way over, and it became hard to breathe already. All three of us were packed with hardly any breathing room near the front. The big guys in yellow shirts reading 'Security' were standing with ear plugs on like nastily muscular statues. I laugh at them, because they're basically useless, especially here. This is Warped Tour, not the goddamn House Of Blues.

I saw Sonny scan the crowd, and I smiled, knowing he would not be able to see me. Usually he didn't have to because I was backstage, but not this time, and I could see that he was a little scared. I could feel a pair of eyes look at me from the side, and it was Jillian. She smiled at me and began to cheer. I bounced on the balls of my feet and screamed with the rest of the crowd. Sonny took the mic and began to talk.

"Now, who's having a damn good time?!" he put the mic out to the crowd as everyone screamed. I laughed as I did so. He went on, "Alright! Now I want to hear you fuckin' scream for me! Go!" Everyone screamed, Matt struck a chord and stopped it.

"You call that screaming? Louder! Come on! Louder!" Everyone screamed louder than before, and I was laughing wildly. Chris looked at me like I was seriously about to die just from laughing so hard. I think it's funny how he talks on stage like he was God. It just kills me.

"Calm down there, kiddies. Alright, Little Miss Emily, this is for you!" I stopped laughing and looked up at the stage.

'He hasn't done that since... since he wrote me 'Emily' in Georgia! Why would he do that now? Is he trying to tell them that I'm with him? Or is he trying to be nice? I can't tell...!' Jillian looked at me as Chris started head banging to World War Me. I must have looked shocked or scared, and she put a hand on my shoulder.

"You're Little Miss Emily... aren't you?" I looked at her, shocked still, and she smiled widely.

"You're dating Sonny Moore! You lucky son of a bitch! Congratulations!" I smiled just as wide, and danced in my spot. Once the concert was over Chris ran to the bathroom, so Jillian and I walked around.

"That's where the pass came from? I noticed that it was too different from the KVLT passes I've seen. Chris used to have one, and it was way different."

"The guys don't want people all over me, and Sonny doesn't want his fans to get hurt. He knows what it's like, so he decided to keep me his secret. It's fun, actually. I feel special," I chuckled. We talked about tour life for a while, she had a lot of questions. Of course, I couldn't offer much, because we had a big bus, when other starter bands are stuck with crusty old vans. They have it harder than we do, so I told her I'm not a reliable source of information.

Once the sun began to set, I ran into Cuddles and he said that Sonny was waiting for me back behind the stage with the guys. He didn't say it directly -- because of Jill -- but I got the point he was trying to get across.They had just finished signing, apparently, and he missed me. Once he was gone, Jillian looked at me and I asked for her email, and we traded that stuff briefly. I had and email address and two IM accounts written in green Sharpie on my arm, which looked funny with my short sleeved shirt. I had given her my email and my MSN account name before I hugged her and said my goodbyes.

On my way over several people had ran into me and I had began to think that I would never get to him before dark. But I managed to do it... somehow. He was waiting behind the stage with the rest of the band and Cuddles too, who had probably cam here without me right after he relayed the message.

'Dammit Ricky. I'll get you back for this. I nearly got squashed by some drunk fat guy because of you!' I cursed him, walking up to Sonny and hugging him. He noticed my arm.

"Who's Jill?"

"I ran into an old friend from high school! She didn't want to forget me again so we traded each other's contact info. Is that okay?"

"Well, yeah! I'm glad for you!"

"And she knows about us, too," I said. Everyone looked at me, silence settling over the small group. I looked at everyone and let go of Sonny, "Hey man! She figured it out on her own! When Sonny did that Little Miss Emily thing, I was shocked and she saw my face and guessed right -- by they way, what the hell was that about? You haven't done that since the House Of Blues in Georgia."

He shrugged, "I don't know. I knew you were in the crowd somewhere, and I thought it would be cute." I smiled at him. He just looked so cute with the 'I don't know' look of his face and a bottle of water to his lips. I wanted to kiss him for that, too. 'Restraint, don't fail me now!'

"Hey Travis, what time do we leave tomorrow?"

"Well, I know that the show's till about eleven, and then we have to get to the airport at five that morning if we're gonna make it."

"Wait, where are we flying? You never told me that!"

"I thought that I did!" I shook my head at him, he shrugged.

"We're going to Japan."