Someday I will Understand
Chapter 110 I could be anything
Kate sat in her car sitting there unable to move, her crying had turned to loud sobs with her body rocking back and fourth.
Looking at the house she wanted to go back in, to rewind the time in order to set things right. Why Eliza had done this to her she just couldn’t fathom it, the hate she was feeling for her right now she wanted to kill her.
Kate had started t regain her composure and wanted to drive away before anyone saw her, putting her keys in the ignition her hand shook as she fumbled to put the keys in to the slot, turning on the car she glanced one last time at the house where she was sure she could see Gerard staring from the window.
Gerard watched as Kate drove off, Closing the curtain he walked to his bedroom where he sat on his bed staring at the wall, thoughts were going through his mind, his head was spinning out of control he knew what he had done and though his head was telling him he was right his heart was calling him a fool.
Gerard didnt know what to do, right now he wished he had a bottle of beer to wipe everything away but he couldn’t he would never bring himself to that point again. Where there was no control over his life.
Pulling outside Frank’s house Kate got out of her car and walked in to the house, Looking for Frank she couldn’t find him. Thinking he must have gone out, Kate sunk in to the sofa where she let the tears fall again - to her, her life was fucked, why she had gone to rehab to become sane she had no idea it was like to her that it wasnt worth it, everything was slowly being pulled away.
Kate had determination and she wanted Gerard holding her more then ever, she truly loved him with all her heart but yet she had broken his, for a stupid action because she thought she was torn between 2 men, when clearly now as she had lost one she knew who she really wanted and needed but yet it was gone never to return.
Frank returned home with Sadie in her pusher to find Kate sitting on the sofa where he could hear soft sniffs, walking over to her he could see the redness around her eyes but yet there was paper all over the floor that had been written on.
“Katie are you ok?”
Kate looked up and did not respond, she had put herself in her own world where all she had at the moment were words coming to her head which she had to write down.
Frank sat beside her, he could see the sadness in her eyes and wanted to reach out to her, picking up one of the pieces of paper he started to read
I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
So I've learned that love is no possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now, I've learned love needs expression
But I've learned much too late
When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
to light my way.
And when I'm scared and losing ground; When my world is going crazy
Frank knew that the song hadn’t been finished but what he had read he liked, Kate was still scribbling on a notepad oblivious to the fact that Frank was actually beside her .
“Katie talk to me please”
Staring at him she spoke with no emotion “He knows, he saw and well now it’s the end...I lied to you, I came here to end it with you but Gerard ended it with me”
“Kate I don’t understand it’s like your speaking in a riddle”
Kate shook her head to regain her composure and spoke “Frank I came here today to end it with you...I was with Gerard all night...but then I heard you say things that made me melt and I wanted you...Well the fucked up bitch Eliza somehow taped us doing it this morning and she sent it to Gerard who’s seen it...I never thought I could hurt some like that”
“Are you telling me that what you told me this morning was a lie?”
“Yeh I am and I’m sorry”
“Kate how could you do this...I thought you wanted me...I thought you broke up with Gee and now I find you haven’t and he’s seen us having sex, Fucking hell Kate...I thought you were better”
Kate looked towards him hurt unable to say anything as he had summed everything up.
“Kate I think you should leave right now I don’t want to see you”
Kate looked up with her makeup smudge, she stood up not saying a word, Grabbing her bag she picked her daughter up out of her pusher “Where are you taking her?”
Kate still said nothing and opened the door “Kate don’t take her” Frank said with a growl
Kate walked out the door with her daughter who started to cry as she could see the tension her mother was under
“Shh...” Kate whispered
Rocking her daughter, trying to get her quiet frank walked out to where they were and started to yell “Get Fucking inside...Your not taking her anywhere”
Kate looked towards him scared she followed his instructions not wanting to cause an argument that she realised was brewing as she had not only hurt Gerard she had hurt Frank as well.
Getting inside she handed Sadie over to Frank and started to walk away when Frank grabbed her wrist in a tight grip and yanked her towards him “Frank your hurting me please stop”
Frank stared at her “So now you know how it feels like” letting go of his grip Kate started to cry. Kate ran out the front door to her car where she sped away.
Gerard had walked out of his room and out the house he needed to see Frank to give him a piece of his mind, right now he was hurting and he wanted Frank to know how much he had destroyed his happiness.
Looking at the house she wanted to go back in, to rewind the time in order to set things right. Why Eliza had done this to her she just couldn’t fathom it, the hate she was feeling for her right now she wanted to kill her.
Kate had started t regain her composure and wanted to drive away before anyone saw her, putting her keys in the ignition her hand shook as she fumbled to put the keys in to the slot, turning on the car she glanced one last time at the house where she was sure she could see Gerard staring from the window.
Gerard watched as Kate drove off, Closing the curtain he walked to his bedroom where he sat on his bed staring at the wall, thoughts were going through his mind, his head was spinning out of control he knew what he had done and though his head was telling him he was right his heart was calling him a fool.
Gerard didnt know what to do, right now he wished he had a bottle of beer to wipe everything away but he couldn’t he would never bring himself to that point again. Where there was no control over his life.
Pulling outside Frank’s house Kate got out of her car and walked in to the house, Looking for Frank she couldn’t find him. Thinking he must have gone out, Kate sunk in to the sofa where she let the tears fall again - to her, her life was fucked, why she had gone to rehab to become sane she had no idea it was like to her that it wasnt worth it, everything was slowly being pulled away.
Kate had determination and she wanted Gerard holding her more then ever, she truly loved him with all her heart but yet she had broken his, for a stupid action because she thought she was torn between 2 men, when clearly now as she had lost one she knew who she really wanted and needed but yet it was gone never to return.
Frank returned home with Sadie in her pusher to find Kate sitting on the sofa where he could hear soft sniffs, walking over to her he could see the redness around her eyes but yet there was paper all over the floor that had been written on.
“Katie are you ok?”
Kate looked up and did not respond, she had put herself in her own world where all she had at the moment were words coming to her head which she had to write down.
Frank sat beside her, he could see the sadness in her eyes and wanted to reach out to her, picking up one of the pieces of paper he started to read
I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
So I've learned that love is no possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now, I've learned love needs expression
But I've learned much too late
When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
to light my way.
And when I'm scared and losing ground; When my world is going crazy
Frank knew that the song hadn’t been finished but what he had read he liked, Kate was still scribbling on a notepad oblivious to the fact that Frank was actually beside her .
“Katie talk to me please”
Staring at him she spoke with no emotion “He knows, he saw and well now it’s the end...I lied to you, I came here to end it with you but Gerard ended it with me”
“Kate I don’t understand it’s like your speaking in a riddle”
Kate shook her head to regain her composure and spoke “Frank I came here today to end it with you...I was with Gerard all night...but then I heard you say things that made me melt and I wanted you...Well the fucked up bitch Eliza somehow taped us doing it this morning and she sent it to Gerard who’s seen it...I never thought I could hurt some like that”
“Are you telling me that what you told me this morning was a lie?”
“Yeh I am and I’m sorry”
“Kate how could you do this...I thought you wanted me...I thought you broke up with Gee and now I find you haven’t and he’s seen us having sex, Fucking hell Kate...I thought you were better”
Kate looked towards him hurt unable to say anything as he had summed everything up.
“Kate I think you should leave right now I don’t want to see you”
Kate looked up with her makeup smudge, she stood up not saying a word, Grabbing her bag she picked her daughter up out of her pusher “Where are you taking her?”
Kate still said nothing and opened the door “Kate don’t take her” Frank said with a growl
Kate walked out the door with her daughter who started to cry as she could see the tension her mother was under
“Shh...” Kate whispered
Rocking her daughter, trying to get her quiet frank walked out to where they were and started to yell “Get Fucking inside...Your not taking her anywhere”
Kate looked towards him scared she followed his instructions not wanting to cause an argument that she realised was brewing as she had not only hurt Gerard she had hurt Frank as well.
Getting inside she handed Sadie over to Frank and started to walk away when Frank grabbed her wrist in a tight grip and yanked her towards him “Frank your hurting me please stop”
Frank stared at her “So now you know how it feels like” letting go of his grip Kate started to cry. Kate ran out the front door to her car where she sped away.
Gerard had walked out of his room and out the house he needed to see Frank to give him a piece of his mind, right now he was hurting and he wanted Frank to know how much he had destroyed his happiness.