Someday I will Understand

Kate sat down in a sofa like chair where she saw a woman who had to be at least double age, sitting opposite her.
“Hello I’m Grace Mullenger”
“Hi I’m Kate Bartlett”
“Thank you so much for your time and allowing OK magazine to conduct this interview”
Kate smiled sweetly, while her entourage which had grown since the last time she remembered watched on

“Well Ok then how are you doing with your life, I hear you have not long ago been released from rehab, Can you tell us about that”
“ Well after my son passed away I found that emotionally I wasnt coping and I was going in a downward spiral which I needed to get out of, it was thanks to my partner of the time who actually urged me to go and I’m quite glad I did, I feel I have come out as a better person with a better understanding of my life”

“And you not to long ago had another child?”
“That’s correct Sadie is her name, she’s nearly 6 months and absolute delight”

“How do you think juggling motherhood and a career will change you?”
“I think I’m going to find that I will grow quicker as a person, after my son died I thought there was nothing left but having Sadie has changed that and for her I want to continue on with my career, I love my work and I love my daughter and to me they fit perfectly together.

“So the big question is Kate are you seeing anyone?”
“No I recently broke up with my partner, it was time for both of us to move on. I’m sadden that it couldn’t work out but we are still friends and to me that’s the most important thing” Kate replied lying through her teeth

“You have been in the tabloids recently over the paternity of your child, How did that make you feel?”
Kate sighed “It hurt more then words will ever explain, I always intended to keep my private life private but unfortunately that wasnt the case, I have no excuse I’ve made mistakes in my life and as a human I learn from them, Certainly having my daughter was not a mistake if anything she was the biggest blessing in my life”

“Recently you were taken to hospital, are you able to tell us about that?”
“Well this was the stage I was going through my downward spiral and I needed a release, I don’t something I will always regret and that was to self harm myself, I felt like all I was doing was hurting everyone and I couldn’t deal with it anymore”

“What is there left for you now?”
“Well I intend to get back out there, I’m currently in the process of getting my first studio album out which I’m really excited about, This is my little project that I have worked so hard on I look forward to when it is finally completed and I can share it with the world. I hope to also get back in to movies, that has always been my first love and I hope to come out bigger and better.

“Well Kate thank you so much for your time and allowing OK magazine in to your life”
“Thank you” Kate replied shaking Grace’s hand

After everything had finished Kate decided to go back to her hotel where she could relax, Kate couldn’t help but think how her life was going, she knew that mentally she was fine but emotionally she couldn’t get Gerard out of her mind and wished she could see him last one time.

She had told her people the situation on what had happened and they had advised for her to stay away, they wanted Kate now to be seen in a positive light, Someone people could look up to and respect, not some love crazed woman.

Kate was really missing her daughter and knew that she had no choice she really had to see her.
Leaving her room, Kate saw her the hallway was clear, getting in the lift and going down to the car park she found her car got in and drove the short drive to New Jersey.
Turning the radio on she started to sing along to Lionel Richie’s song ‘All night long’ before she knew it she had come to Belleville not being able to help herself she drove past the Way residence where she was sure Gerard would be, So much of her wanted to go there but she knew that she couldn’t.

Continuing to drive she arrived at Frank’s house and saw that he was there as his car was parked out the front, before going in Kate texted Bridget and let her know where she was so no one would get worried.

Getting out of the car she could see neighbours staring out there windows, kate flashed them a smile and waved before she walked up to Frank’s front door and knocked.
She could hear movement, Slowly the door opened where Kate saw Gerard staring at her.
Kate didnt know what to say she stood there with a shocked look on her face, Gerard was the last person she was expecting to see.
“Is Frank here?”
“No he’s not” Gerard coldly replied
Kate could tell that he was still pissed “Is Sadie here?”
“Yeh she is”
“Well I’d like to see my daughter”
“Fine” Gerard replied as he let Kate in to the house, Kate walked straight to the nursery where Sadie was fast asleep, Picking her daughter up she sat down in the rocking chair and continued to rock her daughter.

“Sadie mummy loves you so much, more then you will ever no...I wish I could change what happened and not lied but Mummy couldn’t do that, she lost the one person who truly believed in her and loved her and Mummy didnt give a damm. Rather she done something so stupid that she will never forgive herself for. I love you Sadie...Your so lucky so innocent but yet so beautiful. I know your Daddy loves you very much and well I love your other Daddy, the one that was there when you were first born...But I know he’s angry with me and I cant blame him...Though I’m happy he allowed me to see you” Kate said as she cuddled her daughter

Gerard was able to hear every word that had come out of Kate’s mouth and though he was touched he knew that he couldn’t be with her, as much as he wanted to it just hurt to much.

Frank had arrived home and was startled when he saw Kate’s car in the drive way, walking inside he saw Gerard who’s facial expression said everything Frank told Gerard to wait while Kate was here he wanted both of them to confront her.

(A/N: more photo’s have been added on to www.myspace.com/somedayiwillunderstand Go and check em out !)