Someday I will Understand

Kate awoke with a fright sweat was falling off her body, she got out of bed and grabbed a glass of water trying to calm herself down, thoughts were rolling through her head, her pain was returning but she wanted it to go away for it never to return.
She knew if she dwelled over it to long she would loose, she wanted to survive.

Kate didnt no where she was getting these courageous thoughts from, maybe it was the fact that she had love, maybe she needed to be a fighter and win. All she did know was that she had to survive if not for herself then at least for the memory of her son.

Being that it was only about 3 in the morning Gerard was still fast asleep, Kate hopped back into bed and tried to snuggle in to him under the blankets but with all the commotion she was doing when trying to move around she had woken Gerard up.

He looked at her with one eye half open and groggily said "Are you alright?"
"Oh baby did I wake you sorry, I was just trying to get comfy, I just wanted a cuddle" she said as she moved her body on top of his and started to give him soft kisses.
"Babe what are you doing?"
"Nothing, but I just wanted to say that I love you"
"I love you too Kate, why are you awake for?
"I couldn’t sleep and then I saw how cute you looked while you were asleep that I just wanted to snuggle up with you"
"I can be cuter" Gerard said with a laugh who by now was waking up.

"I’ve been thinking" Gerard looked at as if to say oh shit, Kate could tell by looking at him that he was worried and she didnt want him to be "It's ok, its not bad, I’ve been thinking that there is too much to life to sit around thinking why I shouldn’t be here, I cant let it eat at me I want to be a survivor - I know my son died only a few weeks ago and I’m not ready to move on but I think that I am really ready to accept it" Kate said with a tear in her eye,

"Kate that’s really good, no one would ever expect you to forget, but accepting will help you to able to heal"
I no and with what happened with jared, I’m better then that and I know I didnt deserve it but it happened and I just want to move on like they say what comes around goes around and he will get his just deserve, I just really hate having all these memories stuck in my head and I want them gone, I just have to keep living my life knowing that I have you and my family, that you guys are all here for me"

"Baby you will have my support always, I’m never going anywhere"
"I’m so glad that I have you in my life, I don’t know what I would do with out you or where I’d be”
“Don’t even think about it” Gerard said as he kissed Kate on the lips.
Gerard put his arm around Kate where she snuggled into his chest as they both fell asleep again.

Waking up later in the morning, Kate was full of beans she felt as though she was in a good mood and she wanted to enjoy it while it lasted, she was coming to terms with her son’s death.
Gerard had woken up and had already taken a shower which he felt really privileged to do cause when he was on the tour bus there could be days when there was no shower.
Kate had decided that she wanted to go to the pool that they had in the hotel, grabbing her bathers she went in to the bathroom and changed, though she loved Gerard very much she still didnt feel comfortable showing him her body after what had happened.
Coming out in a two piece which was just plain black, Gerard looked at her toned body and thought she looked beautiful, the physical appearance of her just stunned him and he wanted to me closer to her more then ever, but he knew he would wait he wasn’t going to push and then push her away in the process.
“Baby, do you think any of the guys would want to go swimming with me?”
“Hmm....” Gerard couldn’t help himself “Why don’t you and I go swimming in our bed”
“Very funny! I’m serious”
“Babe we all have things to do this afternoon before the show, why don’t you get Keisha to go with you”
“Ok” Kate said as she walked out the door
Kate decided that maybe some alone time would be good for her, so she headed up to the pool by herself, she was thanking her lucky stars that it was indoor and heated.
Diving in to the pool, Kate felt free as the water was around her body, not realising that someone had come in to where the pool was, Kate decided to close her eyes and just float on the surface of the water to her it felt calm and there was no sound until she felt the splash of water hit her face, yelling what the fuck and not knowing where it came from she stood straight up in the pool where she saw Frank laughing at her.

“You fucking turd, you scared me!” Kate yelled at Frank
“You should have see your face Katie poo it was hilarious” Frank said still laughing
“That was so not fucking funny”
“But it was...”
Frank was unable to finish his sentence as Kate had swam over to him and hit him across the head
“Ouch, what was that for”
Kate who was now laughing said “That’s for making me freak out there”
“Just remember Katie poo you will be on a tour bus with me and I promise you I will get you back especially when you least expect it”Frank said splashing Kate in the face while laughing
“Bring it”
“Trust me I have bought it”
Kate and Frank continued to muck around, Kate couldn’t believe how much fun she was having, and Frank himself was thinking she’s nut’s like me
“Hey Kate, why don’t we play a prank on Gee, that would be so funny”
“Nah I couldn’t be that would be nasty...hmm... but then again it would be fun”
“Exactly my point too”

Both of them got out of the pool and dried themselves off, Frank couldn’t help it and checked Kate out, “Frankie are you looking at me” Kate said staring at him
He had been busted and didnt know what to say so turned away, as Kate continued to dry herself again, Frank slowly looked at her again, he thought already that she was hot but seeing her wet and hot just made her that much more irresistible, he started to think that Gerard was one lucky bastard cause if he had Kate on his arms, they would be locked in that hotel room forever.
Frank decided to remove the thought’s from his mind, this was his mates girlfriend he didnt want to jeopardise anything, not that he ever would, but then he thought if I had a chance that would be a different story.

Shaking his head, he left Kate and went back to his room to think his thought’s over.
Kate on the other hand assumed, that he had to get ready and went back to her room to get ready for the show, she wanted to go to show her support as Gerard had done for her over these last few weeks and getting out she thought would do no harm.