Someday I will Understand
Chapter 94 I tried I have....
Kate was unable to sleep everything was crashing down around her, Gerard stayed awake with her knowing what she was going through from past experiences he had with his own substance abuse.
He didn’t want Kate to go through what he had once felt.
The feeling of coming down was not pleasant for Kate, how it made her feel was terrible, one moment she would be irritated and pace up and down Gerard’s room the next there were shivers making her feel like she wanted more of the inhalant.. Gerard could see that Kate was struggling with the effects.
He wanted to take everything away from her so as though all she had was happiness. But he knew this wasn’t to be the case. Gerard was hoping that Kate would learn from the mistakes she had made and would try to rectify them.
A couple of hours had passed and Kate had started to feel better, he mind was returning back to normal and she actually started to look decent and not out of it like she had been.
Gerard was glad to see that Kate was returning to normal, getting up he got dressed and walked out of the room.
Kate followed behind him to see his parents awake and sitting in the
lounge room reading the paper
“Good morning” Donna replied
“Morning” Kate and Gerard said in unison
Kate walked to wards the spare room where she sat on her bed quietly and cried silent tears, everything was coming down around her..to herself it was so much and there was just so much of her that needed to heal.
Kate hadn’t had the guts to tell her own family what had happened she didnt want to destroy there happiness nor push them away but that’s all she felt like she was doing, Pushing everyone one away.
Kate looked towards the mantle piece where there was a photo of her and Gerard and Sadie a couple of days after Sadie was born looking so happy. Kate wished that happiness would return. Kate didnt want to stay at home she needed to get out she needed if anything to see her daughter.
Walking in to the kitchen where Gerard was making breakfast Kate spoke “Gerard I cant do this...I need to see Sadie...please” she said with despair in her eyes
“Kate we have talked about this...I’m sorry but it’s best” Gerard replied smoothly
Kate couldn’t take it anymore “How the FUCk do you expect me to get better when I cant even see my daughter” Kate said raising her voice
“Katie calm down please”
“NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, I WANT TO SEE MY DAUGHTER NOW!” Kate said now yelling that even Gerard’s parents stopped to see what was going on.
Donna walked in and placed her hand on Kate’s shoulder to try and sooth the pain “Kate my dear I know this is hard..But please you have to try”
“Donna I’m sorry but I need to see my daughter and I will” Kate said as she walked off and out the front door where she slammed the door.
Gerard ran after her “Katie please stop”
Kate turned around she didnt want to argue with Gerard but at the same time she was angry because everyone was trying to keep her away from her daughter...Which she didnt understand was what was best for her. Everyone was scared that Kate could self harm herself again and they didnt want her in the media where her reputation could be tarnished, So far as far as the media were concerned Kate had been sick and that was why she was in hospital, there was other speculation but nothing had been proved.
“Gerard you cant stop me...I’m going to see her...Call Frank but he has my daughter” Kate said all red in the face from getting so angry.
“Kate please don’t for me...This wont do you any good...right now you need to heal and then be there for Sadie”
Kate had heard enough her blood was boiling she didnt care if she was over reacting “Fuck you Gerard...Im seeing her” Kate said as she bolted off to Frank’s house.
Gerard decided to let her go, he knew she was hurting and he understood he was just trying to do what was best for her and it seemed harder then expected. Deciding to cool down himself he walked the long walk to where Eliza was staying.
Kate had arrived at Frank’s house and began knocking really hard on the door, Frank answered looking very surprised to see Kate.
“Kate what are you doing here?” He asked
“I need to see her” Kate replied “Please Frank let me see her”
Frank looked at Kate and could see that she wasnt the person he once knew this person was disorientated, confused, angry “Alright Katie...Come in”
Walking inside Gerard saw that there were two older people there, she didnt know who they were but the older female was cooing over her daughter
“Kate this is my mum and dad” Frank replied
Kate didnt say anything just looking at Sadie, The older woman placed her arms out so as though Kate could hold her daughter for the first time in such a long time, Cradling Sadie in her arms a smile spread across her face she looked at her daughter lovingly and inhaled her baby smell, something that she had missed, she could see that her daughter had already grown and was becoming her own little person in her own right.
Kate kissed her daughter and spoke to her “your so beautiful and Mummy loves you so much..But I need to get better” Sadie gurgled which made Kate beam even more”
“Thank you Frank” Kate whispered
Gerard had made it to Eliza’s where she greeted him warmly and let him inside, Gerard opened up to her..trusting her that they had a friendship but to Eliza it was different she was becoming obsessed with Gerard.
She listened really not caring what Gerard said about his problems with Kate but she faked her interest. Eliza moved closer to Gerard wanting him to hold her, he could see what she wanted and he started to think if he had led Eliza on he didnt want that, he knew they’d had problems but he assumed they had worked everything out.
Eliza grabbed his face and kissed him passionately “Gerard I love you” Eliza proclaimed
Gerard was shocked “Eliza we cant I’m sorry” Gerard said pushing her back
Eliza looked ashamed, she wanted Gerard to feel guilty, and Gerard was.
“Look I’m gonna go” Gerard said bolting out the door and back to his house totally forgetting that Kate was with Frank. Eliza knew that Gerard wouldn’t go and get Kate he had explained that to her already so Eliza on her own drove over to where Frank’s house was and knocked on the door.
“Hey E, Whatcha doin?” Frank asked
“I’ve come to get Kate to drop her off at Gerard’s...I thought it would be a nice thing to do seeing he’s under a lot of stress”
“Awesome, I’m sure he will appreciate it”
Eliza walked in and saw Kate holding her daughter “Hi Kate...I’m here to drop you off at Gerard’s” Eliza said with a fake smile
Kate looked up and smiled, she handed her daughter back to Frank and said goodbye to Frank and thanked him for allowing her to see her daughter. Kate thought it was nice that Eliza cared and was willing to take her back to the Way residence.
In the car the girls made small talk but kept it simple, until supposedly Eliza accidentally let it slip that Gerard had been coming to her house always unexpectedly, she left it at that so as to let Kate think the worst in which she was.
Kate got out of the car once Eliza had dropped her off and bolted to the street corner, Eliza could see that she had gotten Kate just where she wanted she knew that at any time Kate would really crack and that it would be the end of Gerard and Kate’s relationship for good. Her plan was succeeding.
Kate felt as though she was going mental, she knew if she confronted Gerard it would only make it worse and right now she didnt give a fuck about anyone, she wanted another hit and she was going to get it, not caring if anything happened to her, she felt as though she was being betrayed.
Gerard had no idea what was going on and started to get worried when Kate hadn’t returned by dinner time, he rang Frank who said Eliza had picked Kate up as a good deed to help out, So Gerard then rang Eliza who advised that she had dropped Kate off just after lunch and she thought Kate had gone home, Gerard informed her that wasnt the case.
Hanging up Gerard started to get real worried, he didnt know where she was nor what she was doing.
Kate on the other hand was feeling good, she had hidden in the garage being very quiet where she had done a few hit’s and was lying on the garage floor totally out of it not having a care for the world.
He didn’t want Kate to go through what he had once felt.
The feeling of coming down was not pleasant for Kate, how it made her feel was terrible, one moment she would be irritated and pace up and down Gerard’s room the next there were shivers making her feel like she wanted more of the inhalant.. Gerard could see that Kate was struggling with the effects.
He wanted to take everything away from her so as though all she had was happiness. But he knew this wasn’t to be the case. Gerard was hoping that Kate would learn from the mistakes she had made and would try to rectify them.
A couple of hours had passed and Kate had started to feel better, he mind was returning back to normal and she actually started to look decent and not out of it like she had been.
Gerard was glad to see that Kate was returning to normal, getting up he got dressed and walked out of the room.
Kate followed behind him to see his parents awake and sitting in the
lounge room reading the paper
“Good morning” Donna replied
“Morning” Kate and Gerard said in unison
Kate walked to wards the spare room where she sat on her bed quietly and cried silent tears, everything was coming down around her..to herself it was so much and there was just so much of her that needed to heal.
Kate hadn’t had the guts to tell her own family what had happened she didnt want to destroy there happiness nor push them away but that’s all she felt like she was doing, Pushing everyone one away.
Kate looked towards the mantle piece where there was a photo of her and Gerard and Sadie a couple of days after Sadie was born looking so happy. Kate wished that happiness would return. Kate didnt want to stay at home she needed to get out she needed if anything to see her daughter.
Walking in to the kitchen where Gerard was making breakfast Kate spoke “Gerard I cant do this...I need to see Sadie...please” she said with despair in her eyes
“Kate we have talked about this...I’m sorry but it’s best” Gerard replied smoothly
Kate couldn’t take it anymore “How the FUCk do you expect me to get better when I cant even see my daughter” Kate said raising her voice
“Katie calm down please”
“NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, I WANT TO SEE MY DAUGHTER NOW!” Kate said now yelling that even Gerard’s parents stopped to see what was going on.
Donna walked in and placed her hand on Kate’s shoulder to try and sooth the pain “Kate my dear I know this is hard..But please you have to try”
“Donna I’m sorry but I need to see my daughter and I will” Kate said as she walked off and out the front door where she slammed the door.
Gerard ran after her “Katie please stop”
Kate turned around she didnt want to argue with Gerard but at the same time she was angry because everyone was trying to keep her away from her daughter...Which she didnt understand was what was best for her. Everyone was scared that Kate could self harm herself again and they didnt want her in the media where her reputation could be tarnished, So far as far as the media were concerned Kate had been sick and that was why she was in hospital, there was other speculation but nothing had been proved.
“Gerard you cant stop me...I’m going to see her...Call Frank but he has my daughter” Kate said all red in the face from getting so angry.
“Kate please don’t for me...This wont do you any good...right now you need to heal and then be there for Sadie”
Kate had heard enough her blood was boiling she didnt care if she was over reacting “Fuck you Gerard...Im seeing her” Kate said as she bolted off to Frank’s house.
Gerard decided to let her go, he knew she was hurting and he understood he was just trying to do what was best for her and it seemed harder then expected. Deciding to cool down himself he walked the long walk to where Eliza was staying.
Kate had arrived at Frank’s house and began knocking really hard on the door, Frank answered looking very surprised to see Kate.
“Kate what are you doing here?” He asked
“I need to see her” Kate replied “Please Frank let me see her”
Frank looked at Kate and could see that she wasnt the person he once knew this person was disorientated, confused, angry “Alright Katie...Come in”
Walking inside Gerard saw that there were two older people there, she didnt know who they were but the older female was cooing over her daughter
“Kate this is my mum and dad” Frank replied
Kate didnt say anything just looking at Sadie, The older woman placed her arms out so as though Kate could hold her daughter for the first time in such a long time, Cradling Sadie in her arms a smile spread across her face she looked at her daughter lovingly and inhaled her baby smell, something that she had missed, she could see that her daughter had already grown and was becoming her own little person in her own right.
Kate kissed her daughter and spoke to her “your so beautiful and Mummy loves you so much..But I need to get better” Sadie gurgled which made Kate beam even more”
“Thank you Frank” Kate whispered
Gerard had made it to Eliza’s where she greeted him warmly and let him inside, Gerard opened up to her..trusting her that they had a friendship but to Eliza it was different she was becoming obsessed with Gerard.
She listened really not caring what Gerard said about his problems with Kate but she faked her interest. Eliza moved closer to Gerard wanting him to hold her, he could see what she wanted and he started to think if he had led Eliza on he didnt want that, he knew they’d had problems but he assumed they had worked everything out.
Eliza grabbed his face and kissed him passionately “Gerard I love you” Eliza proclaimed
Gerard was shocked “Eliza we cant I’m sorry” Gerard said pushing her back
Eliza looked ashamed, she wanted Gerard to feel guilty, and Gerard was.
“Look I’m gonna go” Gerard said bolting out the door and back to his house totally forgetting that Kate was with Frank. Eliza knew that Gerard wouldn’t go and get Kate he had explained that to her already so Eliza on her own drove over to where Frank’s house was and knocked on the door.
“Hey E, Whatcha doin?” Frank asked
“I’ve come to get Kate to drop her off at Gerard’s...I thought it would be a nice thing to do seeing he’s under a lot of stress”
“Awesome, I’m sure he will appreciate it”
Eliza walked in and saw Kate holding her daughter “Hi Kate...I’m here to drop you off at Gerard’s” Eliza said with a fake smile
Kate looked up and smiled, she handed her daughter back to Frank and said goodbye to Frank and thanked him for allowing her to see her daughter. Kate thought it was nice that Eliza cared and was willing to take her back to the Way residence.
In the car the girls made small talk but kept it simple, until supposedly Eliza accidentally let it slip that Gerard had been coming to her house always unexpectedly, she left it at that so as to let Kate think the worst in which she was.
Kate got out of the car once Eliza had dropped her off and bolted to the street corner, Eliza could see that she had gotten Kate just where she wanted she knew that at any time Kate would really crack and that it would be the end of Gerard and Kate’s relationship for good. Her plan was succeeding.
Kate felt as though she was going mental, she knew if she confronted Gerard it would only make it worse and right now she didnt give a fuck about anyone, she wanted another hit and she was going to get it, not caring if anything happened to her, she felt as though she was being betrayed.
Gerard had no idea what was going on and started to get worried when Kate hadn’t returned by dinner time, he rang Frank who said Eliza had picked Kate up as a good deed to help out, So Gerard then rang Eliza who advised that she had dropped Kate off just after lunch and she thought Kate had gone home, Gerard informed her that wasnt the case.
Hanging up Gerard started to get real worried, he didnt know where she was nor what she was doing.
Kate on the other hand was feeling good, she had hidden in the garage being very quiet where she had done a few hit’s and was lying on the garage floor totally out of it not having a care for the world.