Someday I will Understand
Chapter 99 Raise your arms
Laying beside Eliza; Gerard felt disgusted in what he had done. Disgusted as he had cheated on the woman he loved, disgusted because he had no feelings for Eliza….to Gerard this was purely just sex nothing more nothing less.
Eliza on the other hand thought she had succeeded, rolling over she tried to cuddle in to Gerard who really wanted nothing to do with her, he had been satisfied for a short while but he felt guilty and decided that Eliza shouldn’t be treated this way he just needed to let her down slowly.
“Gerard I’m glad that you and I are together…I think it’s what you need”
Gerard got out of bed repulsed by what Eliza had to say “Where are you going? She asked
“I gotta have a shower”
“Do you want me to join you…we could have some more fun”
“No Eliza I think you should go”
“Why do you want me to go for?”
“I’m sorry Eliza but I’ve made mistake”
Eliza was shocked by what she was hearing “What are you trying to say to me?”
“I cant do this, I’m sorry but what I have done is so wrong”
“You have got to be joking right” Eliza exclaimed
Gerard looked at her blankly not understanding why she didn’t get what he was saying.
“I’m sorry Eliza I don’t want to be with you and what we done was a mistake…Kate is the only woman I want to be with”
“Oh my god Gerard…your saying you have just used me…no wonder we broke up your pathetic and to think I really loved you”
Eliza got out of the bed and dressed and bolted down the stairs where she ran to her car and started to cry, Eliza couldn’t understand what was happening to her and why all of a sudden Gerard was rebuffing her. She had finally gotten what she wanted but yet the man she loved or so she thought was rejecting her or pushing her away.
Gerard knew he had done wrong it was the lowest thing he could do, the woman he loved had been gone less then 24 hrs and already he was fucking up...he knew right there he had to tell her and deal with the consequences.
Kate on the other hand was needing or more then anything wanting a hit of cocaine, Being in Rehab in Sundance Utah at Cirque Lodge Kate didnt feel as though she needed to be there - in her mind she felt as though she wasnt out of control if anything she felt as though she may have needed a little guidance but not to be taken away from her loved ones and her daughter.
One thing Kate was looking forward to was in the third week she would be able to see her daughter, there was a program where families could attend seminars learning about drug addiction and other problems residents had. Kate was going to be sure to tell Frank so that he could come with Sadie, unbeknownst to Kate as she had such a young daughter the clinic was going to make an exception and allow Kate to see her daughter over weekends as they felt that this would help her through the recovery process, so every Friday night Frank was going to make the trip to Utah so that Kate could see there daughter.
Kate’s cravings were intensifying she felt as though she really needed a hit, Kate had now been in Utah for a week and she was aware that she would be seeing her daughter which was exciting her very much, Through out sessions she’d had during the week, Kate had spoke to the therapist and had slowly started to open up on what was getting her down. Kate was open about wanting a hit of cocaine but was starting to see at the same time that it wasnt right for her, in order to survive she had to not think about it and know that she was better then that.
The weekend had arrived and Gerard had come with Frank and Sadie as he wanted to see how Kate was doing seeing he was the one that had intervened and made her go to rehab and to let her know what had happened.
The one thing Gerard was please with Cirque Lodge was that patients had there own rehab plan and each patient was different, Gerard just hoped that Kate would commit to her plan.
Arriving at the Rehab clinic, Gerard and Frank along with Sadie were taken to a small office where they were given an update on how Kate was slowly progressing
“Hi there...I’m Ruby I’m one of the councillors here, who has been looking after Kate...The reason I have you here is she is a mother with a newborn baby and we find that by seeing her daughter this will help her heal, Kate has committed herself to the program and has so far been a delight to be here, She is struggling at the moment as she is feeling like she needs a hit of cocaine. So she has started to smoke to combat that problem which we feel is fine since she still has the effects of the cocaine in her system”
“Hi I’m Gerard Kate’s partner...that’s great news to hear...When can we see her?”
“I’ll take you now..Kate is waiting for you outside where we have a lunch area”
Gerard and Frank followed Ruby to where they were taken to see Kate who was sitting on a chair having a smoke, as soon as she saw Frank with Sadie, she dropped her cigarette and bolted over to see her daughter.
Running over she spoke “Hi...” she said with a polite smile
“Hey Katie...I bought someone here to see you” Frank replied
Placing Sadie in Kate’s arms, Kate held her daughter in what seemed like an eternity since she had last held her.
“OMG your so beautiful” Kate cooed
“She looks more and more like you each day Katie” Frank spoke
Gerard stood there just watching Kate, he could see that the old Kate the one he had fallen in love with was slowly returning and he would soon break that when he dealt her the news, After about half an hour of catching up and holding Sadie, Gerard asked Kate to go on a walk around the lodge. Kate handed back her daughter and went off with Gerard where they held hands walking around the treatment centre
“So baby how have you been” Kate asked
“Ok” Gerard whispered
“I’ve missed you so much...but I think you made the right decision...I’m learning that I have a problem and that’s ok...But I swear I’ve bloody taken up smoking again to suppress the urge for a hit of smack”
“Baby you know I love you right?”
“Of course I do...and when I’m better I’m going to take you up on that offer of you making me your wife” Kate said with a smile
“Baby I’ve done something so stupid and I have no excuses”
Kate stopped dead in her tracks not liking the tone of Gerard’s voice nor really wanting to hear what he had to say.
“Baby what ever it is I don’t want to know...let’s forget the past” Kate responded
“You have to know..”
“What is it?”
“Trust me when I say I love you and I don’t want to cause you any pain but I know that I am”
“Baby what is it?”
“Eliza came over last week and I was so upset that I had sex with her, it was like I needed to be close with someone”
“Are you fucking joking” Kate yelled pulling her hand away from Gerard
“I’m not and yes I am sorry”
“Fucking hell Gerard...I trusted you...I cant deal with this...please go” Kate said standing there fuming
Gerard walked away, Kate went the other way to where Frank was so she could say goodbye to her daughter.
“Hey Katie that was quick...I thought you guys would have been getting it on” frank said not knowing what had happened
“Frank he just told me he slept with that fucking mole...right now I cant deal with that...I need to get better and then I swear I’ll be kicking some asses”
Frank and Kate spoke some more then said there goodbyes
“I’ll see you next week ok, Sadie and I will be here with bells on” Frank said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood
“Thanks Frankie...see you soon” Kate replied pecking Frank on the cheek and kissing her daughter on the forehead.
Gerard had already gone back to the hotel, he didnt know what to do he knew Kate had taken it better then he thought she would but the next thing was unknown whether she would want to fight for there relationship or just give it up for good.
Eliza on the other hand thought she had succeeded, rolling over she tried to cuddle in to Gerard who really wanted nothing to do with her, he had been satisfied for a short while but he felt guilty and decided that Eliza shouldn’t be treated this way he just needed to let her down slowly.
“Gerard I’m glad that you and I are together…I think it’s what you need”
Gerard got out of bed repulsed by what Eliza had to say “Where are you going? She asked
“I gotta have a shower”
“Do you want me to join you…we could have some more fun”
“No Eliza I think you should go”
“Why do you want me to go for?”
“I’m sorry Eliza but I’ve made mistake”
Eliza was shocked by what she was hearing “What are you trying to say to me?”
“I cant do this, I’m sorry but what I have done is so wrong”
“You have got to be joking right” Eliza exclaimed
Gerard looked at her blankly not understanding why she didn’t get what he was saying.
“I’m sorry Eliza I don’t want to be with you and what we done was a mistake…Kate is the only woman I want to be with”
“Oh my god Gerard…your saying you have just used me…no wonder we broke up your pathetic and to think I really loved you”
Eliza got out of the bed and dressed and bolted down the stairs where she ran to her car and started to cry, Eliza couldn’t understand what was happening to her and why all of a sudden Gerard was rebuffing her. She had finally gotten what she wanted but yet the man she loved or so she thought was rejecting her or pushing her away.
Gerard knew he had done wrong it was the lowest thing he could do, the woman he loved had been gone less then 24 hrs and already he was fucking up...he knew right there he had to tell her and deal with the consequences.
Kate on the other hand was needing or more then anything wanting a hit of cocaine, Being in Rehab in Sundance Utah at Cirque Lodge Kate didnt feel as though she needed to be there - in her mind she felt as though she wasnt out of control if anything she felt as though she may have needed a little guidance but not to be taken away from her loved ones and her daughter.
One thing Kate was looking forward to was in the third week she would be able to see her daughter, there was a program where families could attend seminars learning about drug addiction and other problems residents had. Kate was going to be sure to tell Frank so that he could come with Sadie, unbeknownst to Kate as she had such a young daughter the clinic was going to make an exception and allow Kate to see her daughter over weekends as they felt that this would help her through the recovery process, so every Friday night Frank was going to make the trip to Utah so that Kate could see there daughter.
Kate’s cravings were intensifying she felt as though she really needed a hit, Kate had now been in Utah for a week and she was aware that she would be seeing her daughter which was exciting her very much, Through out sessions she’d had during the week, Kate had spoke to the therapist and had slowly started to open up on what was getting her down. Kate was open about wanting a hit of cocaine but was starting to see at the same time that it wasnt right for her, in order to survive she had to not think about it and know that she was better then that.
The weekend had arrived and Gerard had come with Frank and Sadie as he wanted to see how Kate was doing seeing he was the one that had intervened and made her go to rehab and to let her know what had happened.
The one thing Gerard was please with Cirque Lodge was that patients had there own rehab plan and each patient was different, Gerard just hoped that Kate would commit to her plan.
Arriving at the Rehab clinic, Gerard and Frank along with Sadie were taken to a small office where they were given an update on how Kate was slowly progressing
“Hi there...I’m Ruby I’m one of the councillors here, who has been looking after Kate...The reason I have you here is she is a mother with a newborn baby and we find that by seeing her daughter this will help her heal, Kate has committed herself to the program and has so far been a delight to be here, She is struggling at the moment as she is feeling like she needs a hit of cocaine. So she has started to smoke to combat that problem which we feel is fine since she still has the effects of the cocaine in her system”
“Hi I’m Gerard Kate’s partner...that’s great news to hear...When can we see her?”
“I’ll take you now..Kate is waiting for you outside where we have a lunch area”
Gerard and Frank followed Ruby to where they were taken to see Kate who was sitting on a chair having a smoke, as soon as she saw Frank with Sadie, she dropped her cigarette and bolted over to see her daughter.
Running over she spoke “Hi...” she said with a polite smile
“Hey Katie...I bought someone here to see you” Frank replied
Placing Sadie in Kate’s arms, Kate held her daughter in what seemed like an eternity since she had last held her.
“OMG your so beautiful” Kate cooed
“She looks more and more like you each day Katie” Frank spoke
Gerard stood there just watching Kate, he could see that the old Kate the one he had fallen in love with was slowly returning and he would soon break that when he dealt her the news, After about half an hour of catching up and holding Sadie, Gerard asked Kate to go on a walk around the lodge. Kate handed back her daughter and went off with Gerard where they held hands walking around the treatment centre
“So baby how have you been” Kate asked
“Ok” Gerard whispered
“I’ve missed you so much...but I think you made the right decision...I’m learning that I have a problem and that’s ok...But I swear I’ve bloody taken up smoking again to suppress the urge for a hit of smack”
“Baby you know I love you right?”
“Of course I do...and when I’m better I’m going to take you up on that offer of you making me your wife” Kate said with a smile
“Baby I’ve done something so stupid and I have no excuses”
Kate stopped dead in her tracks not liking the tone of Gerard’s voice nor really wanting to hear what he had to say.
“Baby what ever it is I don’t want to know...let’s forget the past” Kate responded
“You have to know..”
“What is it?”
“Trust me when I say I love you and I don’t want to cause you any pain but I know that I am”
“Baby what is it?”
“Eliza came over last week and I was so upset that I had sex with her, it was like I needed to be close with someone”
“Are you fucking joking” Kate yelled pulling her hand away from Gerard
“I’m not and yes I am sorry”
“Fucking hell Gerard...I trusted you...I cant deal with this...please go” Kate said standing there fuming
Gerard walked away, Kate went the other way to where Frank was so she could say goodbye to her daughter.
“Hey Katie that was quick...I thought you guys would have been getting it on” frank said not knowing what had happened
“Frank he just told me he slept with that fucking mole...right now I cant deal with that...I need to get better and then I swear I’ll be kicking some asses”
Frank and Kate spoke some more then said there goodbyes
“I’ll see you next week ok, Sadie and I will be here with bells on” Frank said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood
“Thanks Frankie...see you soon” Kate replied pecking Frank on the cheek and kissing her daughter on the forehead.
Gerard had already gone back to the hotel, he didnt know what to do he knew Kate had taken it better then he thought she would but the next thing was unknown whether she would want to fight for there relationship or just give it up for good.