Don't Turn Your Back My Dear, Never Turn Your Back On Fear

Dazzled by everything I smiled. It was all smiles for me here. Jyrki and I left lunch early to go where we are. He took me deeper in the city to an underground rock/punk store. He told me to buy a sweater or jacket. Jyrki didn't care about the price just as long as I liked it and it looked fantastic.

"Jyyyrrrrrkkkkkkiiiiii," I cooed and hugged my friend from the back.

"Yes darling?"

"I love this store. I can buy everything from it." Jyrki chuckled and held on to my hands.

"Yet you only need a sweater."

"And I found one." I cheekily said.

Jyrki smiled and took my sweater from my hands. He handed it to a lady then gave her his credit card. In exchange he handed me the bag that now carried my sweater. My sweater was black with pink guitars printed vertically. Outside I squealed and jumped on Jyrki. I kissed his cheek.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Jyrki chuckled and held on to me.

"It was no problem darling."

"You really didn't have to do that for me."

"I wanted to buy you it Antoinette. A little birthday present for you."

"Well I love it." I said giggling.

"I want to see it on you. I didn't really get to see it. And of course it would look a million times better on you." I smiled and put the sweater on. My bare arms were now rejoicing in warmth.

Jyrki smiled and gave me a side hug. Why can't Jussi be like this? I have no clue. Jussi could have been nice to me and at least tried to talk to me; but instead he ignored me completely. Other than staring at me for a few moments. When he was I pretended like I didn't notice. And that was a total lie that I wish I didn't act.

"Is Jussi ruining things with you because of Katrinna?" Jyrki asked me.

"Umm, kinda. I've spent all day with him only to be forgotten for a couple days. It bugs me."

"That's Katrinna's hold. She's telling Jussi complete bull; you pissed her off by getting to know Jussi." I crossed my arms.

"I've already decided that I don't like her, I probably would dislike her less if I knew she existed." I growled and glared to the ground belong me.

"I knew he didn't tell you, I believe he's been trying to forget about Katrinna himself. When she left we all, including Jussi, took that as their closure. She had moved out of him apartment and got a place of her own; no where we knew."

"There's still no reason for me not to be mad at either of them." Jyrki smiled.

"Then you can be as mad as you want."

I giggled and clapped my hands. Most people would have looked at me like I was a mental person. But I'm just a girl that was bought a very nice sweater and has four days left until her birthday. I think that puts me off the hook. For now.

It's four in the fucking morning. And I'm getting a call on my house phone. God I never realized it before but the ring was quite loud and obnoxious. I told myself I'd apologize to my neighbors about the four am wake up call.

"Who ever the fuck you are I'm going to mutilate you." I hissed into the phone.

"Woah, my apologizes for calling Ann! I forgot you were in a different time zone!" My brother Aaron said sadly.

"God I wish I knew it were you! You gave my whole building a flipping heart attack."

"I swear to you, it was all an accident."

"Yeah, sure." I mumbled and covered my head with blankets. Why didn't I get heating in my apartment? I'm freaking crazy.

"But I need you to do a favor, turn the news on BBC."

"Why?"

"To check the list."

The List, the worst nightmare for the family of military personnel. You see your son, daughters, sister, brother, father, mother, etc name on the list and the most that you can do is collapse to the floor below you and have an emotional break down. The name isn't shown; all you can do is pray harder to never see the name on the shown list. Families have wasted hours reading down the list and going over it because they taped it earlier.

I got out of my bed and headed over to the TV. I wrapped blankets around myself as I tuned into BBC World News. If I came seconds later I would have missed the beginning of the list, even though it goes by alphabetical order. I still know many people in the US military. The line was silent between us. We were looking down the list. Gulps signified that someone we knew died. Three gulps and counting. Passing the L's we both sighed. My brother screamed out yes. I stayed silent but still watched the list to the end.

"Four people we knew died." I stated after silence.

"And that ruins everything. Try forgetting about it, happy birthday Ann. Night."

"Night."

I tossed the phone and went back to my bed. I had no problem going back to sleep. Waking up was difficult. I had school again and needed to get to class on time. I walked in wearing dark skinny leg jeans, a bright blue long sleeve underneath a men's Volcom zip up sweater, and some black leather boots.

I didn't see any of the guys that day. Instead I went back home and turned the TV to ABC family. How can you go wrong with Boy Meets World reruns? You've just gotta love Mr. Feeny. In the middle of my enjoyment someone knocked on my door then toppled over. Stupid narrow hallway. I laughed and opened the door.

"Hey whore." I said smiling.

"Hey slut." She said smiling and asking me for help. I took her single suitcase in and then helped her up. "How'd you know it was me?"

"I know my whore." I said like a rapper; brushing dirt of my shoulder.

"Well let me in slut it's maniac freezing outside." I smiled and pulled her inside.

She 'ooed' and 'ahhed' then jumped on the couch. I smiled and climbed on top over her. I hugged her and she hugged me back. We stayed like that watching Boy Meets World until the guys of the 69 Eyes (and Katrinna) allowed themselves in. Nothing both of us are new to.

"Woah! Girl party! Where's the beer?" Timo happily asked.

"Sorry Timo, no beer." I said.

"Awww, that just ruined everything." He frowned.

"But there is rum, vodka, wine, and other shit." He turned his frown to the biggest smile.

"That makes everything better, I will be getting them." Timo said running off to my alcohol stash.

How the hell does he know about that?

"Are you sitting on Jenna darling?" Jyrki asked me.

"Yes she is, she actually quite light and keeping me very warm." Jenna replied while staring at Boy Meets World.

Her and I got up and sat cross legged on the largest part of the couch. Leaving little room from everyone else to sit. Jyrki was smart and grabbed the empty spot on the end near me. Timo was off getting an alcohol party started. Way in the back was Jussi and Katrinna. I didn't make it obvious, but I was staring at their interlocken hands. I tried not to hurt myself by thinking but I did and grabbed the bottle of wine Timo wanted me to put on the table. Instead of that plan I took a gulp of it. Jenna giggled and tore it from my mouth and took some for herself.

"Whore." I muttered.

"But I'm your whore." I smiled and took the wine bottle from her hands.

"Where did you get that sweater?" Katrinna asked me; she wants my sweater. No way is she getting her dirty hoe hands on it!

"Some store in Helsinki."

"That's where Jyrki took you." Jussi questioned and he was right.

"Yup. He bought this sweater for me." I said smiling and going on to Jyrki's lap.

"An early birthday present."

"Oooo I love it! You've gotta show me that store!" Jenna exclaimed and clung on to my arm. I gripped the bottle of wine tightly because Jenna almost caused me to lose it.

I stayed curled up in Jyrki's lap while Jenna sat besides us. Katrinna copied my act by sitting on Jussi's lap. But I was curled up into a ball while she was sitting on top of his dick. Jyrki kept his arms around me in a hugging way.

"What are we doing for your birthday Antoinette?" Jenna asked.

"Umm I still don't know."

"Oooo! Me likey!" She cooed.

"I don't. But it has to be good if HIM is planning it.... IS BAM COMING?!" I happily squealed at the end.

"We don't know love." Jussi said, earning a hit from Katrinna by calling me 'love'.

"Awwww." I sadly said.

"It's Bam Annie, he'll pop up. You're his lover anyways." Bazie assured me I smiled to him.

"If you were closer I would have kissed your cheek, but I'm closer to Jyrki and quite happy where I am. So I owe you a kiss on the cheek."

Our little party turned into talk. Jenna and I forgot about Boy Meets World and got sucked into the conversation. At some point Jyrki got up to go the bathroom. I took that chance to get up and kiss Bazie's cheek then hugged him. I sat back down where Jyrki was and waited for him.

"Thank you Annie." Bazie said smiling.

"No prob, you made me happy." I said smiling. Jyrki came back and I resumed my seat on his lap.

"Are you ladies coming to our show next weekend?" Timo asked us. I looked at Jenna.

"I didn't know there was a show."

"It's at Tavastia. Negative, The Rasmus, and HIM will also be playing that night."

"Ooo! I get to see Jonne? I haven't talked to him in a long time!" I said smiling. I noticed Jussi was little pissed off that I mentioned Jonne; I was the only one that noticed though.

"Since you ladies didn't know of it, we're inviting you." Jyrki said smiling.

"Hells ya!" Jenna screamed and drank from our wine bottle.

"I'm all happy." I said smiling.

Our little party went until near midnight. I was told to expect a call or sticky note from HIM later on before my birthday. Jenna and I wrapped everything up and went into my room. There was no way my best friend was going to have a room to herself. Instead we dropped her suitcase on my floor and we crawled into my queen bed that was put in the corner of my room. Jenna hugged on me and blew in my face.

"Ew, wine breath."

"Shut up, you have wine breath too."

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself." We both giggled; I can never turn down alcohol. No matter what.

"We've gotta paint your apartment. It's not you enough."

"That's why you're here! I don't trust those rockstars to paint. And you know how I hate painting by myself."

"Then it's settled! We're painting your apartment before I leave."

"How long are you staying?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

I giggled and hugged her. We're not lesbos or bi. We're best friends for life. We've been best friends since birth. I love the girl to death, if I randomly die one day she would know what I would want. Jenna sighed and rested her head on my boob. Leaving me to rest my head on the pillow.

Seeing as it was still the weekday, I had to get up early. I pried Jenna off me and quietly got ready for school. I grabbed everything I needed for the day and left Jenna to go to school. Of course I left her sticky note explaining everything and leaving her numbers just incase something happened and she couldn't reach me.