Don't Turn Your Back My Dear, Never Turn Your Back On Fear

These walls are like paper. I can hear word for word of what's going on in Ville's apartment and the people next to me. I sighed and turned in my bed. I've got school tomorrow. Uggggg. I'm a very tired person who wants to sleep but can't sleep. I don't want to go upstairs to Ville and ask him for sleeping pills. I would go to the aid of my own sleeping pills, but they've mysteriously left my apartment. I don't need them much. Rarely I need them. But today, out of any day in the year I need those to sleep. I rolled on my bed and threw a racquet ball at the ceiling. Why is there a racquet ball in my room? Birthday present that has a inside joke to it. I smiled when the talking stopped.

"Annie is that you?" Ville asked confused.

"Who else would throw a racquet ball at their ceiling to get your attention?"

"Bam." Everyone said laughing.

"Do you need anything love? You can just come up and ask."

"I need sleeping pills."

"Why?"

"I'm tired, I can't sleep and I have school tomorrow. I wanna fucking sleep."

"We'll send some down."

"Thank you." I called out and got out of bed.

Woah... black out. I was out for a moment because my messenger was knocking on my door loudly. I got up and used the wall as my guides to get to my door. I smiled at my delivery boy. Jussi came in and gave me the two sleeping pills.

"He even comes with water. I'm thrilled." I took the pills and downed them with the water.

"Are you okay love?"

"Just as soon as I...." I fell over and caught myself against the couch.

I forgot to mention how sleeping pills react with my body. It's like being in a strobe light for me. Black out. Back in. Black out. Back in. Fall over. Start giggling. I've accepted this craziness long ago. Hell when my friends have caught this on video I cracked up at myself. Then there are people like Jussi who have no idea of this gift. They freak out, think I'm going to die, and panic. Jussi ran towards me and looked me straight in the eye with all seriousness and concern.

"Antoinette! Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." I giggled and looked at the ceiling. "This happens when I take sleeping pills."

"Do you want help going to bed?"

"Yes please."

Jussi sighed with relief and picked up like I was a bride. He carried me the short distance to my room. As if I was glass, he laid me on my bed. I giggled to myself and went into a moderate giggling fit. Jussi sighed and kissed my forehead. It's like I'm the kid and he's the parent. Something that new to Jussi and not new to me. I can see that he's struggling.

"Now know to never ever give you sleeping pills."

"I fall asleep though! You can leave me and I'll fall asleep... soon." Another sigh by the drummer boy and he agreed.

"I love you." He whispered and kissed my lips.

"I love you back." I blissfully said without a bounce of sleeping pill.

Jussi got up from kneeling and slowly walked out of my room. He closed my doors when leaving and went back upstairs. Not very light on his toes. I smiled to myself and twisted my body in my bedding. In inhaled and started to feel the true nature of the sleeping pills. Maybe I only should have taken one pill. Opps.

Afternoon

I can vouch for someone who complains that their bed is trying to kill them. Try running to your alarm clock but fall in the process because you're trapped in your own bed sheets. Then the alarm clock is just *beep* *beep* *beep* *BEEP* *BEEP*. It can get on anyone's nerves. Now I have a weak knee from falling directly on my knee.

All day I went around limping because of my leg. It's not until now, 2:18, when I decide on getting it looked at by the university's nurse. She's obviously not Finnish, her accent is too Germany. I sighed and waited for her to come back. I have a lecture than I can't miss coming up. Though who wouldn't wanna miss a lecture? It just sucks that my knee hurts.

"Okay. Keep this brace on and use these." She wrapped a black knee brace around my knee then handed me some crutches.

"Thank, you?"

"If you got other problems go to doctor." No shit.

I smiled to her and got on the crutches. She nicely smiled back and let me go. I've used crutches before. I'm a runner, it's not surprise for my knee or ankle to just give way. I haven't ran in awhile and I'm get weak. Also out of shape. In my own pace, I made it my class. Everyone looked at me, most of them knew my story since they asked me. I waved to everyone and sat up in the back of the room. No use killing myself while going down the stairs. And by the way, I have done that before.

One day at school in crutches here in Finland is a hell of a lot better than being in one day in crutches at an American school. Even if those American people know I'm a runner and stuff like this happens, they still get all bitchy over it. I stood out in the front of the university. I look so ridiculous hobbling to my apartment in crutches. I'll die half way. In defeat of my stupid mistakes, I haled a cab and got in.

"What happened to the pretty girl I saw in the club?" I got out and looked at the person. I smiled and gave him a little hug.

"She slipped on her bed sheets and fell on her knee this morning." I covered my giggles from Jonne.

"Well that must of hurt. So I heard that you're with Jussi...?" He sounded a little jealous, but I brushed it off.

"Took him long enough too."

"My thoughts exactly. I'll let you head to your home. I'll see you around Annie."

"Same here."

I softly smiled to him and entered my apartment complex. Drats. No elevator. I grunted to myself and slowly made my way upstairs. This is the only moment since I've lived here that I will ever cherish this narrow hall. I sighed and finally made it to my apartment.

"I seriously need to change my locks." I sighed and smiled at who was in my apartment. I leaned my crutches on my wall and hopped to the couch.

"What the hell happened to you love?" Jussi asked and kissed my cheek.

"I slipped on my sheets and fell on an old sore spot. Move your ass over." I smirked to Jussi and sat down next to him. "Why are you in my apartment and how did you get in?"

"We would pin this on Bam, but he's not here." Jyrki explained.

"We were bored, Ville's not here, and we know your schedule."

"Jussi! You and your friends are stalkers!" I complained and hit my face with a throw pillow.

"That's because we love you Love."

"Okay then, how did you get in?"

"You key is the same as Ville's." Timo said and showed me a key.

"You guys are still stalkers." I smirked and leaned on Jussi's shoulder.

A short conversation and I had Jussi searching through my box of DVDs, as well as home videos. I looked at the movies he was interested in. Most of the time he was reading the little captions hand written by Beth on the front of my home movie labels. He occasionally smiles at what she writes. What can I say? Her creative writing and my dumbass luck are gold together.

"All right, drummer boy has narrowed things down to Halloween and a few videos from when I was in high school. Which aren't too old." I pointed out. And I know that Jussi hasn't chosen what to watch.

"Let's watch both."

"You mean all." Jussi corrected.

"Then what's first?"

"Me!" I interrupted Archize's question and popped in the video tape then a dvd disc for the next video about me.

Videos of my friends, one of my handling the camera and "directing". That video turned out horribly hilarious. Then of course there were countless clips of me being me. The dvd version is much more... organized than the tapes and I even forced Tyson in 'labeling' the different clips.

Fact

A version of me less than a year ago showed up on the screen. I gave the traditional cross eye, peace sign, and tongue out smile before laughing at myself. My other friends behind the camera laughed as well.

"Fact: I am anorexic."

"Fact, everyone knows that." Tyson, who was manning the camera, ruined for me. I made a dull face and flipped him off.

"Fact, Tyson is a horny bast.ard that wants to bang me." I laughed, forgot about me being annoyed at him. Then leaned back on the foot rest while laughing. It's something I tend to do when I laugh and there's nothing behind my back.

"Fact, you are correct." He laughed and his finger could be seen in the frame.

"What are you doing?" Jenna asked and sat on my lap.

"Playing 'fact'." I smiled. She 'ooooo'ed and wrapped her arms around me.

"Fact, um... can you come back to me?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Fact, I've gotten drunk in a Vietnamese restaurant because of spiked rice."

"What the hell?" Jussi laughed.

"It's true! I went out to dinner and I ended up being drunk!" I defended.

"Fact..." Beth came out twisting her fingers.

"That's Bethany, she's who I'm visit in the states in a couple weeks."

"... I'm pregnant."

"Fact-" I started off, completely ignoring Beth's fact.

"HOLY SHIT!" Jenna exclaimed.

She grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. We started playing 'ring around the rosie' without the chant. Instead we start jumping up and down while moving in a circle. Then we started chanting:

"We're gonna be aunties
We're gonna be aunties
Bethany is having a baby
A baby
A baby
Bethany is having a baby
Aaaaaannnnnnnnddddddddddddd
We're gonna be aunties!"

When we stopped and looked, Bethany was running to the toilet. 'Morning sickness' I whispered and giggled. Jenna started bursting out laughing at fell on the ground. Her hands and mine remained laced. My back hunched and I started laughing. I looked straight at the camera. The way Tyson was holding the camera cut off everything past my bust.

"Fact-" I cut myself off and started smiling like hell.

"What?"

"I was going to say, fact: I'm bittersweet about going to Finland. Now I'm going to say fact, Jenna is ready to do something really dirty to me." I cheesily smiled. The camera went south and landed on Jenna's smiling face. Tyson handed the camera to one of his friends and put the camera in his face.

"Fact, I want in on that really badly." He said and smirked.

Tyson grabbed on to my waist and pulled my figure to the ground next to Jenna. "Threesome!" He yelled like a happy fat boy with cake and straddled us both. I squealed and started laughing like Jenna. But Jenna only pushed him away and clung on to me. Tyson grunted and went down to kiss my neck.

"Fact, her boyfriend is going to kick your ass." Jenna smirked.

"Fact, I don't give a shit." And Tyson licked my neck. I squealed and giggled.

"Antoinette? What the fuck?"

"FUUUCCKKKK!" I shrieked and pushed Tyson off me and ran off from my ex boyfriend.

The camera flipping to him then Tyson. Tyson looked up like a deer in head lights. He scrambled to his feet and ran the direction I ran away in. That clip ended there and stopped all together.

"What I really want to know is how you got DRUNK from Vietnamese food." I laughed at Bazie's question.

"So do I." I laughed.

After the 'fact' home video we went on a spree of watching the Halloween series. I got Tyson's Dad to put them all on one dvd so we wouldn't have to get up and change them. Somewhere in the second movie I fell asleep on Jussi's lap. The man is a god for keeping up with me. And to think, he hasn't seen the craziness that's been captured on film. He hasn't seen a quarter of all the videos I have either.

♥Jussi Vuori's PoV♥

"You know, after seeing some videos of her, she scares me." Timo said like he really was afraid of Antoinette.

I looked down on the skinny girl. She's young but that seems to be it. Okay, crazy too. I ran my fingers through her black and blonde hair. I softly smiled and rested my hand on her shoulder.

"She doesn't look like your kind of woman." Jyrki randomly opened up. Since Antoinette fell asleep all of us forgot about the movie.

"She's more of Bam's kind of girl. Really young and maniacal." Archize said looking away from the movie to my girlfriend.

And the thing that I owe my life to: Antoinette's house phone.

She rose from my lap and grabbed the phone from the table. "Someone better get me starbucks for waking me up.... No I didn't get it.... I don't know. Well you're a dumbass for not sending it earlier.... Still not my problem; if you tell me what's-... Di.ck head.... All right! All right! I'll look out for it... Bye bye." She hung the phone and threw on the floor. Back she fell on my lap asleep.

"Okay, she's not your usual girl but we like her." Jyrki chuckled. I smirked and ran my fingers through her hair again.

'I'm going to miss her when I'm on tour and she's in the states with Bam.'