Sequel: Carved My Name ›
Status: Finished.
Don't Turn Your Back My Dear, Never Turn Your Back On Fear
09
Jussi pulled me on to his lap. He was well on his way to being drunk. And so was I. I trashed the beer Jonne got me when I was finished. For the majority of the time Jussi has been ordering my drinks for me. I only know that the main liquor is vodka. I don't mind though, I'm actually fond of vodka. I wasn't paying attention to the conversation and crawled across a couple laps and walked down to the dance floor. My walking was little jagged but it wasn't obvious that I was completely wasted. But if I keep drinking what Jussi gives me I will be. I groaned and chugged down the rest of my drink before going outside to answer my phone.
"Yellow?" I answered.
"Antoinette? Are you drunk?" Baltic said with confusion. I covered my mouth and ran down to the curb of the street so he couldn't hear the club music.
"Why would I be drunk?"
"You sound like it."
"I'm not."
"Abby told me. Stop playing."
SHIT.
"What did she tell you?"
"You're at Tavastia with Jussi and his band."
"No I'm not."
"Abby told me Antoinette. Why the fuck are you at Tavastia?"
"Because Jussi invited me."
"Do you remember me telling you to stay away from him and the rest of them?"
"Sadly, I do."
"Then why don't you listen to me?!"
"Because they're my friends."
"Fuck them Antoinette! They don't give a damn about you! They're rockstars!"
"Why are you acting like this?!" I said raising my voice and grabbing my hair.
"Because I'm your older brother and you will listen to me. All I'm doing is protecting-"
"Stop saying that! You're not protecting me! You and everyone are making things worse! Just let me handle my own life!"
"No Antoinette! Stay where you are! I'm coming to get you!"
"Leave me alone!"
"FUCK OFF ANTOINETTE! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM! ESPECIALLY JUSSI!"
In anger I hung my phone up. I hugged myself and started sobbing. Only loud enough for me to hear. I felt and arm come over my shoulder and pull me in a hug. I broke into tears just as I was pulled into Jussi's chest. He said nothing but ran his hand up and down my back. I love it when people don't say anything. When they say something they just ruin everything. Jussi turned me around and started walking me back inside the club.
I pulled away from Jussi's arms and wiped my tears with the sleeves of my sweater. Jussi watched me from the 2 foot distance between us. I hate my brother for yelling at me. I hate him for restricting me.
I looked up at Jussi and met his eyes. This was the first time in being friends with him that I've studied his eyes. They were a beautiful and rare grey. If I looked close enough I bet there was a darker shade of grey that exaggerated his eyes. I laughed out loud at how stupid I was being. We stood like this for what seemed forever. I was taking in all his looks; staring at him. Jussi was doing the exact something. I couldn't bring myself to say anything aloud.
Oh
My
Fucking
God.
I'm falling for Jussi.
Jussi changed everything. He took my hand and guided me towards the middle of the dance floor. He grabbed my other hand and started dancing. I cracked a smile and started moving with him. I hate dancing. I prefer to just watch people. But Jussi got me going this time.Someone call Jenna.
While dancing I felt Jussi's face come surprisingly close to mine. If it were any other guy I would have pushed him off. But this is JUSSI. I smirked when I met his eyes and got his attention. We both moved in and his lips came in heavenly contact with mine.
The space between us became even tighter. Jussi was now holding my hand and had his over hand around my waist. The hand that wasn't being held by Jussi's was draped over his shoulder. We stayed like that for an eternity until someone (hint hint *cough* *cough* Baltic) grabbed me and hauled me over his shoulder.
"I saw that by the way." He snapped at me.
"I don't give a damn." I said, I'm still in the kissing trance.
"You should, because you're never going to see him again."
"Do tell your methods."
"I knew you would ask me that."
And he's not going to tell me. Well I'm not going to let him dominate me. He's my older brother; not my pimp. Yet he acts like he is. Baltic carried me all the way back to my apartment. I hoped that Ville was either out or pitass drunk. If he was either, then he wouldn't hear what happened between Baltic and I.
Next day
Henna and Tatiana gasped. We all were folding clothes while waiting for someone to come into the shop. They cracked me like an egg. I told them everything that happened last night. From fighting with Abby to this morning. You'd think they would murder me for being so "intimate" with Jussi. But they found it cute. But the fact that him and I were a tad tipsy kind of ruined the whole thing.
"How drunk were you two?" Henna asked me while walking to a near by shelf.
"Not to the point that we'd do something, like fucking, and not remember in the morning. Well, I wasn't when I left. He might have drank more and done something along those lines."
"Jussi 69 is known for being quite the ladies' man." I sighed to Tatiana, I heard about Jussi being like that. I still don't know if I should take it as a rumor or a fact.
"The kiss probably meant nothing. I was feeling down a little before that and we were already on our way to being drunk." I said putting myself down. Tatiana and Henna frowned at what I was saying. "I've been nothing but a sister-like figure to them. I'm not girlfriend material."
"Is that because you're younger than them?"
"Mainly."
"So... do you like him?" Henna asked me.
I sighed and put the stack of clothes I was folding in their respected spots. I was wondering the same thing this morning while I was getting ready. Last night I was a little drunk; my thoughts were altered. But I can't help by feel that they weren't.
"I think I'm falling in love with him." I quietly said. It was only us three in the store right now.
"You think?" Tatiana wondered.
"Well I was a little drunk last night-"
"Whatever, how do you REALLY feel?" Henna said not believing any word I just said.
"I can't help but be near him. Though he's ten years older than me. Things will just be friends."
"If you think like that it'll just be true." Tatiana smartly said.
We put our conversation about Jussi on hold just as a couple people walked in. They were rapidly going back and forth in Finnish.
"So Antoinette, who is that American friend of yours?" Tatiana whispered to me.
"That one that's "my lover" and plans on eloping with me."
"Who is he?!" She demanded while laughing.
"Bam Margera."
"Damn bitch! I've seen him around Helsinki with HIM, the 69 Eyes, and a couple other bands."
"Why do you ask?"
"You've been referring to him as your American friend."
"Oh sorry. I use that when I talk to my friend Jenna over the phone. She would kill me if she knew who he was. I plan on telling her; but not yet."
I rung up what the couple had in the cash register. I handed them their bags and they walked out. For the next couple hours that's how it was at the shop. A few customers coming in. The majority of them just looking around. Tatiana, Henna, and I went from topic to topic. I found it so easy to communicate with them. Around 2pm a man with flowers came in. Henna turned my way and smirked. I stuck my tongue out and flipped her off. Tatiana was in wide eye at how large the bouquet was.
"Who is Antoinette?" The man said with a think Finnish accent.
"She is!" My co workers pointed to me. The man smiled and set the bouquet in front of me.
"Sign here please." I took a pen and signed the clip board. The man smiled and walked out. Us three girls were left to be in aww at the bouquet. It was huge and hella expensive.
"How much do you think it is?" Henna said studying it.
"Who is it from?" Tatiana asked while jumping up and down.
"Is there a card?" Henna asked me.
"I'm looking. Oh! I found it!"
The card wasn't much of a card. It was a picture with writing on the back. I laughed at what the picture was; a snap shot of our kiss. It was actually a good picture. Everyone but us were blurs, we were as clear as day. I chuckled and flipped the photo over. Being closest to me Tatiana told me to read the letter out loud.
"My dear Antoinette, do not ask me how much these stupid flowers cost. You have to thank Jyrki for the picture the next time you talk or see him. I don't know if you feel the same, but I found last night amazing. When I was with you I wasn't completely wasted and quite sober actually. As soon as you finish reading this look outside the window. Love, your Helsinki Vampire" I was all smiled and giggles. I moved the bouquet so I could look out the window. Tatiana and Henna started giggled. You'd never guess who was out there and who was coming.
To be cruel, it was another guy with flowers. Again he called for me and the girls pointed to me. I got another bouquet. These were from Bam though. I read the card to myself. Yo bitch! It's your lover here! I was going to FedEx some vodka over but Ape caught me. She forced me into buying the flowers. See ya soon babe! ~Bam. I chuckled at the end. I was too into the card to notice that my Helsinki Vampire had come into the shop and was standing in front of me. I smirked to him and put my elbows on the counter then my chin in my hands.
"Who did sent the other flowers?"
"My lover."
"I thought I was your lover."
"I meant my first lover."
"Bam?"
"Of course Jussi." Jussi rolled his eyes then looked into mine.
"How did you like them?"
"I love them."
We left Tatiana and Henna to the side while Jussi started kissing me. The kiss seemed to have matched the one we had last night. But the one last night was better, only because it was our first kiss.
"Eh em, you two make a cute couple but you're starting to attract unwanted attention." Henna wisely said. Jussi and I broke apart and looked out the window.
"Fuck them." I said shrugging.
Jussi chuckled, "When do you get off?"
"Let me get my coat." I said smiling and going to the back.
Jussi held the door open for me while we walked out. It was difficult carrying two vases filled with water and large flowers. I'm happy that I don't have any allergies; especially flower allergies.
"Thank you for the flowers Jussi." I said smiled.
"No problem love." He smiled back and put his arm around my waist.
"I don't see what the occasion is for flowers."
Jussi shrugged, "I just felt like send you them, I felt bad for last night."
"It wasn't your fault though. It was mine and Baltic's." Jussi covered my mouth by kissing me.
"That had nothing to do with you. Sure you may be the center of the problem but it's not your direct fault." I chuckled.
"You totally contradict yourself."
"But you get my point?"
"Clear as day."
"Good." Jussi said smiling before kissing me again.
Things seem to be falling to place right now. I can't tell if Jussi and I are a "thing" now, but I'm positive that I'm falling for him. He's so gorgeous that I can stare at him forever. And I'm not that only woman that realizes it.
We passed an out door restaurant. A few people were braving the cold and sitting outside. A couple of them being Abby and Baltic. I wanted to flip them off, but I'm carrying two vases in my arms and their heavy.
"Are you sure you don't want me to carry one of those? Or both of them?"
"I told you Jussi, I can manage. Just be good and let me in my apartment."
"Can I come in with you?"
"Of course." I said smiling. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. But he turned his head so I kissed his lips instead.
"Yellow?" I answered.
"Antoinette? Are you drunk?" Baltic said with confusion. I covered my mouth and ran down to the curb of the street so he couldn't hear the club music.
"Why would I be drunk?"
"You sound like it."
"I'm not."
"Abby told me. Stop playing."
SHIT.
"What did she tell you?"
"You're at Tavastia with Jussi and his band."
"No I'm not."
"Abby told me Antoinette. Why the fuck are you at Tavastia?"
"Because Jussi invited me."
"Do you remember me telling you to stay away from him and the rest of them?"
"Sadly, I do."
"Then why don't you listen to me?!"
"Because they're my friends."
"Fuck them Antoinette! They don't give a damn about you! They're rockstars!"
"Why are you acting like this?!" I said raising my voice and grabbing my hair.
"Because I'm your older brother and you will listen to me. All I'm doing is protecting-"
"Stop saying that! You're not protecting me! You and everyone are making things worse! Just let me handle my own life!"
"No Antoinette! Stay where you are! I'm coming to get you!"
"Leave me alone!"
"FUCK OFF ANTOINETTE! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM! ESPECIALLY JUSSI!"
In anger I hung my phone up. I hugged myself and started sobbing. Only loud enough for me to hear. I felt and arm come over my shoulder and pull me in a hug. I broke into tears just as I was pulled into Jussi's chest. He said nothing but ran his hand up and down my back. I love it when people don't say anything. When they say something they just ruin everything. Jussi turned me around and started walking me back inside the club.
I pulled away from Jussi's arms and wiped my tears with the sleeves of my sweater. Jussi watched me from the 2 foot distance between us. I hate my brother for yelling at me. I hate him for restricting me.
I looked up at Jussi and met his eyes. This was the first time in being friends with him that I've studied his eyes. They were a beautiful and rare grey. If I looked close enough I bet there was a darker shade of grey that exaggerated his eyes. I laughed out loud at how stupid I was being. We stood like this for what seemed forever. I was taking in all his looks; staring at him. Jussi was doing the exact something. I couldn't bring myself to say anything aloud.
Oh
My
Fucking
God.
I'm falling for Jussi.
Jussi changed everything. He took my hand and guided me towards the middle of the dance floor. He grabbed my other hand and started dancing. I cracked a smile and started moving with him. I hate dancing. I prefer to just watch people. But Jussi got me going this time.Someone call Jenna.
While dancing I felt Jussi's face come surprisingly close to mine. If it were any other guy I would have pushed him off. But this is JUSSI. I smirked when I met his eyes and got his attention. We both moved in and his lips came in heavenly contact with mine.
The space between us became even tighter. Jussi was now holding my hand and had his over hand around my waist. The hand that wasn't being held by Jussi's was draped over his shoulder. We stayed like that for an eternity until someone (hint hint *cough* *cough* Baltic) grabbed me and hauled me over his shoulder.
"I saw that by the way." He snapped at me.
"I don't give a damn." I said, I'm still in the kissing trance.
"You should, because you're never going to see him again."
"Do tell your methods."
"I knew you would ask me that."
And he's not going to tell me. Well I'm not going to let him dominate me. He's my older brother; not my pimp. Yet he acts like he is. Baltic carried me all the way back to my apartment. I hoped that Ville was either out or pitass drunk. If he was either, then he wouldn't hear what happened between Baltic and I.
Next day
Henna and Tatiana gasped. We all were folding clothes while waiting for someone to come into the shop. They cracked me like an egg. I told them everything that happened last night. From fighting with Abby to this morning. You'd think they would murder me for being so "intimate" with Jussi. But they found it cute. But the fact that him and I were a tad tipsy kind of ruined the whole thing.
"How drunk were you two?" Henna asked me while walking to a near by shelf.
"Not to the point that we'd do something, like fucking, and not remember in the morning. Well, I wasn't when I left. He might have drank more and done something along those lines."
"Jussi 69 is known for being quite the ladies' man." I sighed to Tatiana, I heard about Jussi being like that. I still don't know if I should take it as a rumor or a fact.
"The kiss probably meant nothing. I was feeling down a little before that and we were already on our way to being drunk." I said putting myself down. Tatiana and Henna frowned at what I was saying. "I've been nothing but a sister-like figure to them. I'm not girlfriend material."
"Is that because you're younger than them?"
"Mainly."
"So... do you like him?" Henna asked me.
I sighed and put the stack of clothes I was folding in their respected spots. I was wondering the same thing this morning while I was getting ready. Last night I was a little drunk; my thoughts were altered. But I can't help by feel that they weren't.
"I think I'm falling in love with him." I quietly said. It was only us three in the store right now.
"You think?" Tatiana wondered.
"Well I was a little drunk last night-"
"Whatever, how do you REALLY feel?" Henna said not believing any word I just said.
"I can't help but be near him. Though he's ten years older than me. Things will just be friends."
"If you think like that it'll just be true." Tatiana smartly said.
We put our conversation about Jussi on hold just as a couple people walked in. They were rapidly going back and forth in Finnish.
"So Antoinette, who is that American friend of yours?" Tatiana whispered to me.
"That one that's "my lover" and plans on eloping with me."
"Who is he?!" She demanded while laughing.
"Bam Margera."
"Damn bitch! I've seen him around Helsinki with HIM, the 69 Eyes, and a couple other bands."
"Why do you ask?"
"You've been referring to him as your American friend."
"Oh sorry. I use that when I talk to my friend Jenna over the phone. She would kill me if she knew who he was. I plan on telling her; but not yet."
I rung up what the couple had in the cash register. I handed them their bags and they walked out. For the next couple hours that's how it was at the shop. A few customers coming in. The majority of them just looking around. Tatiana, Henna, and I went from topic to topic. I found it so easy to communicate with them. Around 2pm a man with flowers came in. Henna turned my way and smirked. I stuck my tongue out and flipped her off. Tatiana was in wide eye at how large the bouquet was.
"Who is Antoinette?" The man said with a think Finnish accent.
"She is!" My co workers pointed to me. The man smiled and set the bouquet in front of me.
"Sign here please." I took a pen and signed the clip board. The man smiled and walked out. Us three girls were left to be in aww at the bouquet. It was huge and hella expensive.
"How much do you think it is?" Henna said studying it.
"Who is it from?" Tatiana asked while jumping up and down.
"Is there a card?" Henna asked me.
"I'm looking. Oh! I found it!"
The card wasn't much of a card. It was a picture with writing on the back. I laughed at what the picture was; a snap shot of our kiss. It was actually a good picture. Everyone but us were blurs, we were as clear as day. I chuckled and flipped the photo over. Being closest to me Tatiana told me to read the letter out loud.
"My dear Antoinette, do not ask me how much these stupid flowers cost. You have to thank Jyrki for the picture the next time you talk or see him. I don't know if you feel the same, but I found last night amazing. When I was with you I wasn't completely wasted and quite sober actually. As soon as you finish reading this look outside the window. Love, your Helsinki Vampire" I was all smiled and giggles. I moved the bouquet so I could look out the window. Tatiana and Henna started giggled. You'd never guess who was out there and who was coming.
To be cruel, it was another guy with flowers. Again he called for me and the girls pointed to me. I got another bouquet. These were from Bam though. I read the card to myself. Yo bitch! It's your lover here! I was going to FedEx some vodka over but Ape caught me. She forced me into buying the flowers. See ya soon babe! ~Bam. I chuckled at the end. I was too into the card to notice that my Helsinki Vampire had come into the shop and was standing in front of me. I smirked to him and put my elbows on the counter then my chin in my hands.
"Who did sent the other flowers?"
"My lover."
"I thought I was your lover."
"I meant my first lover."
"Bam?"
"Of course Jussi." Jussi rolled his eyes then looked into mine.
"How did you like them?"
"I love them."
We left Tatiana and Henna to the side while Jussi started kissing me. The kiss seemed to have matched the one we had last night. But the one last night was better, only because it was our first kiss.
"Eh em, you two make a cute couple but you're starting to attract unwanted attention." Henna wisely said. Jussi and I broke apart and looked out the window.
"Fuck them." I said shrugging.
Jussi chuckled, "When do you get off?"
"Let me get my coat." I said smiling and going to the back.
Jussi held the door open for me while we walked out. It was difficult carrying two vases filled with water and large flowers. I'm happy that I don't have any allergies; especially flower allergies.
"Thank you for the flowers Jussi." I said smiled.
"No problem love." He smiled back and put his arm around my waist.
"I don't see what the occasion is for flowers."
Jussi shrugged, "I just felt like send you them, I felt bad for last night."
"It wasn't your fault though. It was mine and Baltic's." Jussi covered my mouth by kissing me.
"That had nothing to do with you. Sure you may be the center of the problem but it's not your direct fault." I chuckled.
"You totally contradict yourself."
"But you get my point?"
"Clear as day."
"Good." Jussi said smiling before kissing me again.
Things seem to be falling to place right now. I can't tell if Jussi and I are a "thing" now, but I'm positive that I'm falling for him. He's so gorgeous that I can stare at him forever. And I'm not that only woman that realizes it.
We passed an out door restaurant. A few people were braving the cold and sitting outside. A couple of them being Abby and Baltic. I wanted to flip them off, but I'm carrying two vases in my arms and their heavy.
"Are you sure you don't want me to carry one of those? Or both of them?"
"I told you Jussi, I can manage. Just be good and let me in my apartment."
"Can I come in with you?"
"Of course." I said smiling. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. But he turned his head so I kissed his lips instead.
