Deep Inside

Dougie

“Okay, she’s in here. I can feel it!” Harry says, putting his ear to the door. I troop after him slowly. Yes I should be a little more over the top about this like Harry is, but we’ve been at this now for two hours and I’m sleepy!

“Dude, this is the fiftieth door and, you’ve been saying that for nearly every single one” I mutter, leaning against the wall and shutting my eyes.
Harry shoots me a death glare.

“Well sorry if I wanted to find my best friend, I would’ve thought with the two of you insisting that you fucking like each other that you would’ve been in the same mood. Apparently not, so why don’t you just run back to your room while I try and find her” Harry snaps. I roll my eyes. This is what… the tenth time I’ve gotten this little speech. It’s so rehearsed now. Play a new role Harry.

“Mhm” I mumble.

“Why are there so many fucking rooms on one floor?” Harry mumbles while knocking heavily on the door. I shrug sleepily.

“I dunno, take it up with the architect who designed the building” I tell him, folding my arms as Harry continues to knock.

“Oh come on it’s not that late!” He mutters, knocking even more heavily. Did I mention it’s around three in the morning? No? Well maybe that’s because my brain is too tired to function. And we’ve got a stupid signing to go to for 10am. Oh god I hate Harry right now.
The door swings open and a very angry looking middle aged man stands in front of me an Harry.

“What?” He snaps. Harry looks embarrassed. How can he be embarrassed when this is the fiftieth time this has happened?

“Sorry sir, wrong room” Harry mutters. The guy glares at Harry and shut the door in his face. I look at Harry, cocking one eyebrow.

“So… can we go to bed yet?” I ask him, my body feels like this is the time to make the statement that I’m tired and I yawn.

“No!” Harry snaps and walks to the next door. He puts his ear the door. His eyes squinting. “The TV’s on, at least they’re awake” He mutters, knocking on the door. I walk to beside him and lean against the wall. The door opens.

“I didn’t order room ser- oh… yes?” The guy is around our age. Tall and muscley, short brown hair and slightly tanned. Heavily worry lines indented on his forehead.

“Sorry wrong room” Harry says. The guy nods.

“Okay…” Harry smiles and turns to the door next to it. The guy doesn’t shut the door.

“You can’t knock on that door” The guy says. Harry looks at him.

“Why not?”

“Because my friend is staying in there with his girlfriend and they’re busy” He tells Harry. Yeah jeez Harry, realize some people have more to do in life than knock on every door on one floor in a hotel at three in the morning.

“Oh right… sorry” and Harry walks to the next one. I follow.

“Goodnight” and the guy shuts the door. Well he was pleasant.

Harry stops suddenly.
“What?” I moan, walking right into him.

“That’s my room” He points to the door directly opposite the man’s door, Oh yeah.

“Oh… well we tried. Goodnight” I mutter, taking out my key card and slipping it into the door.

“No Dougie… we went to every single room on this floor” He tells me. Yes I know, I was with you. “Which means we already went past it… shit”

Then something crosses my mind, “Harry… do you know what this Jason guy or his friends look like?”

Harry looks up, “Well I haven’t met him since he ‘changed’ but I’ve seen pictures of him”

“What do you mean ‘since he changed’?” I ask, curious now and a little more awake.

“Oh… he went under the knife” Harry says. My jaw drops. I try not to laugh. That’s hilarious!

“Really? Why?” Harry shrugs.

“Cam said he wasn‘t very attractive” Harry sniggers.

“So what was she doing with him?” I ask. Why would someone like Camilla ever go out with an ugly fuck? But then I guess I’m categorizing myself under that. I think I’ve just answered my question as to why she won’t date me… oh no wait, yeah I was her rebound. Almost forgot that for a minute.

Harry shrugs, “She apparently ‘saw more to him then what was on the surface’… yeah I dunno, she’s all about ‘not judging a book by it’s cover’, it gets a little annoying after a while ” Harry says, using the air quotes with his fingers.
I roll my eyes.

“So you mean we could’ve just talked to him and not know?” I’m starting to get a little angry.

“Well yeah, but remember he has met me before so… I doubt he’d just talk to me and give up the opportunity of hitting me Doug” Harry says. I nod my head.

“Okay… well I’m going to bed. I’m wrecked and need to sleep. Goodnight” I mutter and walk into my room and shut the door quickly without giving Harry a chance to call me back. Without bothering to get dressed I collapse onto the bed and close my eyes.

“OI POSER!” Her voice rang through the room, catching my attention automatically, she stood there, like an angel in the doorway - our first encounter…"Don't worry, we'll give you new, better seats" I said, grabbing her wrist - our first form of contact…“I only met you hours ago and we're sharing a bed" Her voice was quiet and muffled - Our first night on the tour bus. Our first kiss. We shared a bed… "Well, in a way we did, we slept in the same bed together, but we didn't sleep with each other" I said. Camilla was nodding in agreement with me, while beneath the blankets, I was stroking her upper thigh…"I thought you'd forgotten about me" I had said, she smiled brightly "Now how I could I possible forget someone like you?" I shrugged, "Beats me" … "Look, okay, I didn't want to tell you this but the truth is, Cam just got out of a really hard relationship with her ex-boyfriend of two years. He dumped her and she has been really banged up about it. It only happened a couple of months ago and I'm afraid that she's only using you for a rebound", the feelings that ran through me are still fresh in my head, even after months. The pain was just so sharp… "Aren't you going to say hi to Ruth?", the moment they passed my lips, regret ran through my head. I saw the pain run through her eyes. I hurt her. Well she hurt me!…
"Dougie I told you to put some clothes on!" She stood in front of me. Her blonde hair falling down her back. Her eyes a little red from crying. But she was here. Harry was talking to her. She wasn’t a figment of my imagination like I had been having for the past three months. She was here. In the flesh… "Won't she have to stay in Dougie's room?" The words brought three emoticons to my body, happiness, hate and confusion. I was confused. I was angry at her. I hated her, absolutely LOATHED her. She used me to make herself feel better. Using me to make her past relationship go away. But I loved her. The feelings that I had developed way too quickly over two weeks hadn’t gone away as I had planned. As I had hoped. I was confused. I needed therapy. Something to help my mind find it’s track again… "What exactly did I do Dougie?" I then spun around to see her standing and looking right into my eyes. The first time she had commented directly towards me, talking right to me, in months. Her voice as she said my name, it seemed to just roll simply off her tongue.

That kiss we shared the next morning. It was magical, but she broke it before I wasn’t even nearly half finished. She broke it and ran. Ran away as quickly as she could, she tripped down the stairs where Danny caught her. Danny caught her. Her prince in shinning armour. I’d never have been able to catch her. I’d mess up. Miss. Drop her. They talked outside the tour bus and then she walked away from him.
Danny told me he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t be with her. The best mate in the world I could ask for. He just let an amazing girl go. But she wasn’t his. She was mine. She was my amazing girl… And then she was gone. I saw it happen. We ran after the car. It zoomed out of the parking lot. The number plate splattered with mud. We run as fast as possible but they escaped… She was on the phone… she spoke my name, she asked for me… she wanted me. “Is D-d-d-d-dougie there?” she asked in a whisper. Harry didn’t reply. I was too stunned and scared to. Harry looks shocked, like he’s about to faint. It’s quiet for a long time.
“Harry?” She whispered, “Harry I need to talk to Dougie” She said loudly. She needed to talk to me. Needed. But she never got to talk. She lost the phone and the sounds of her boyfriend hurting her where hard to listen to… “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”… “Jason stop”… “NO!” To hear her screams, moans of agony while there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop her pain. With every fibre in my body I screamed into the phone, but there was no answer… She picked up the phone, but she was gone second later…

I sit up suddenly. Sweat dripping from every inch of my skin. I was dreaming. From the first moment I had met her to the last moment we talked. We had been in contact.
The room is dark around me and I’m in my clothes.
That’s when I hear it, the scream. The scream I heard on the phone. It’s muffled quickly but not before I hop out of bed and run to the door.
Another muffled scream fills my ears, coming from one of the near doors, I just can’t pick out which one.