My Boyfriend's Name Is...?
Bill Kaulitz? Who?
Sitting in a wrap around tan couch, I laughed lightly with two people I had just met today. On my right was this guy, he was kinda cute, and by the way we interacted, I figured we'd been dating for quite some time. A girl sat on my left; she had light brown, long, curly hair. She had a kind tanned face as she stared ahead of her. Her name was Kirsten.
The guy smiled at me, but I couldn't see his face clearly. His hand squeezed my knee, reassuring me that everything was alright. I smiled back at him, trying to remember his name. His face was kind, too. He had short sandy blond hair. He was about my height and the way he moved told me that he cared about me in ways that no one has ever before.
Bill Kaulitz.
No, that can't be it. Bill has black hair with blond. Bill is skinnier and much taller. This is not Bill. But who was it?
This loving guy brought his other hand across to my face, turning it to face him. I still couldn't define his features. He smiled though. He leaned closer, as if to kiss me, but he didn't. He just looked at me longingly, like there was a wall between us and neither could break through.
We were laying outside; him on his back, his right arm under his head, his other outstretched to me laying on my stomach perpendicular to him. I was playing with this ball as I looked at how the sun lightened him. He's eyes were closed, looking as if he were sleeping peacefully. I took a black marker and wrote on the ball. I couldn't see clearly to know what I wrote.
"Here..." I lightly pushed the ball to him. "That way you'll remember me when I'm gone."
His head turned to me. His featured still blurred. "We can still stay in contact, right?"
I smiled, glad he wanted to. "Yeah, if my parents will let me."
"I'm going to miss you..." he rolled to his side, looking at me laying on the side of this hill.
My sister was seen out of the corner of my eye packing some things into a suitcase. She barely glanced at us as she did so. I was regretting packing earlier. I should have waited to buy more time with him. Stupid me.
"I will too..."
He smiled sadly and leaned down to my face, his soft breath hitting my face. I fought the tears of goodbye as they threatened to surface and pour down my face. He brought his lips to mine slowly, holding them there longer than a friendly kiss that could pass my parents scrutiny. He pulled back too soon.
"I love you."
I pulled my self up off the grass. "I love you, too."
He fallowed suit and brushed the grass off of himself. He wrapped an arm around my waist, lightly kissing my lips once more before we headed down the grassy hill towards a car at the bottom, purposely empty handed. My mom was picking up a box and placing it in the trunk. We separated as we got closer and she looked at me with a hard face. I told her that I was packed, but I needed to get my things from the house and the hill.
We climbed the hill again, both of us gathering my belongings and carrying them down to the car before climbing it once again and leaning against our tree, the ball at our feet. He smiled at me as I leaned against the bark. He stepped closer, making the space disappear between us. He looked at me sadly, pulling my face to his chest as the tears began. He buried his face in my neck.
After packing the car and mom taking it home with Mel, Kirsten and I were sitting in my Grandma's dinning room, the lights off and the air musty. The room was semi dark and only lit from the small window near the sink. Kirsten had a brown paper shopping bag in front of her on the table. Some of our uncles were sitting behind her, waiting for her to present the item to me.
She pulled out a doll. A clown doll that looked hideous. It was all a blur. From me insulting the doll to accepting it with apologies. I showed him the doll, telling him that it had the number twelve on it's stomach. He got mad at my obsession and bit the head off the scary clown doll and dropped it to the red tile.
He attempted to swallow it, but ended up choking, falling to the floor clutching his throat. I leaned down and began giving him CPR, as I learned in Health class, but his eyes got wide and I tried two rescue breaths before remembering a crucial rule. NEVER give CPR to a choke victim.
I curled into a fetal position next to his flailing body, grasping his hand and crying at my mistake. It dawned on me what I was supposed to do. The Heimlich Maneuver. Of course. But Kirsten was already doing it, trying to clear his air ways. I watched, sobbing to myself.
He would never be alright.
The guy smiled at me, but I couldn't see his face clearly. His hand squeezed my knee, reassuring me that everything was alright. I smiled back at him, trying to remember his name. His face was kind, too. He had short sandy blond hair. He was about my height and the way he moved told me that he cared about me in ways that no one has ever before.
Bill Kaulitz.
No, that can't be it. Bill has black hair with blond. Bill is skinnier and much taller. This is not Bill. But who was it?
This loving guy brought his other hand across to my face, turning it to face him. I still couldn't define his features. He smiled though. He leaned closer, as if to kiss me, but he didn't. He just looked at me longingly, like there was a wall between us and neither could break through.
We were laying outside; him on his back, his right arm under his head, his other outstretched to me laying on my stomach perpendicular to him. I was playing with this ball as I looked at how the sun lightened him. He's eyes were closed, looking as if he were sleeping peacefully. I took a black marker and wrote on the ball. I couldn't see clearly to know what I wrote.
"Here..." I lightly pushed the ball to him. "That way you'll remember me when I'm gone."
His head turned to me. His featured still blurred. "We can still stay in contact, right?"
I smiled, glad he wanted to. "Yeah, if my parents will let me."
"I'm going to miss you..." he rolled to his side, looking at me laying on the side of this hill.
My sister was seen out of the corner of my eye packing some things into a suitcase. She barely glanced at us as she did so. I was regretting packing earlier. I should have waited to buy more time with him. Stupid me.
"I will too..."
He smiled sadly and leaned down to my face, his soft breath hitting my face. I fought the tears of goodbye as they threatened to surface and pour down my face. He brought his lips to mine slowly, holding them there longer than a friendly kiss that could pass my parents scrutiny. He pulled back too soon.
"I love you."
I pulled my self up off the grass. "I love you, too."
He fallowed suit and brushed the grass off of himself. He wrapped an arm around my waist, lightly kissing my lips once more before we headed down the grassy hill towards a car at the bottom, purposely empty handed. My mom was picking up a box and placing it in the trunk. We separated as we got closer and she looked at me with a hard face. I told her that I was packed, but I needed to get my things from the house and the hill.
We climbed the hill again, both of us gathering my belongings and carrying them down to the car before climbing it once again and leaning against our tree, the ball at our feet. He smiled at me as I leaned against the bark. He stepped closer, making the space disappear between us. He looked at me sadly, pulling my face to his chest as the tears began. He buried his face in my neck.
After packing the car and mom taking it home with Mel, Kirsten and I were sitting in my Grandma's dinning room, the lights off and the air musty. The room was semi dark and only lit from the small window near the sink. Kirsten had a brown paper shopping bag in front of her on the table. Some of our uncles were sitting behind her, waiting for her to present the item to me.
She pulled out a doll. A clown doll that looked hideous. It was all a blur. From me insulting the doll to accepting it with apologies. I showed him the doll, telling him that it had the number twelve on it's stomach. He got mad at my obsession and bit the head off the scary clown doll and dropped it to the red tile.
He attempted to swallow it, but ended up choking, falling to the floor clutching his throat. I leaned down and began giving him CPR, as I learned in Health class, but his eyes got wide and I tried two rescue breaths before remembering a crucial rule. NEVER give CPR to a choke victim.
I curled into a fetal position next to his flailing body, grasping his hand and crying at my mistake. It dawned on me what I was supposed to do. The Heimlich Maneuver. Of course. But Kirsten was already doing it, trying to clear his air ways. I watched, sobbing to myself.
He would never be alright.