He Is There
Chapter Three.
I talked to Jesse for a long time. I felt him, like I connected with him even more as I talked to him. He was an addict, and I could tell that from the beginning. I wonder what he could tell about me from the beginning..
“So how old are you?” he asked.
“Fifteen.” I said. Another lie. I’m only thirteen.
“You’re a small fifteen year old.”
”I never ate my vegetables.”
He laughed and said, “I can’t say that I did either, kid.”
I smirked. “So why are you out here so late by yourself?” I asked.
“I could ask the same about you.”
I stared at him. He was smart. And I liked him.
“Well I got nowhere to go and I can’t drive. Your turn.”
“I don’t believe you.” He said.
“Okay. I was with my brother and he met up with his girlfriend and told me not to go home till he called because my mom told him to watch me. Better?” I said.
“That’s believable.”
“Now what about you?”
“My roommate kicked me out for the night so here I am.”
“That’s kinda funny.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“Me neither.”
We sat in the tailgate of his truck for I don’t know how long and just talked. I was getting dizzy and my head hurt like it never has before but I tried to ignore it.
“You’re a good kid.” he said.
“You’re a good adult.” I replied.
“If only you knew.”
“Ditto.”
Then there was silence. Nothing but the combination of the smell of cigar smoke and tobacco burning moved between us. It didn’t last long; a cop drove by with his sirens on. All of a sudden I was sad again. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. My head hurt and I was dizzy. Why was I so dizzy? I realized that I still had my backpack with the liquor in it. So I pulled out the vodka and started chugging.
“Whoa, whoa little buddy. You’re only fifteen. What the hell are you doing?” Jesse exclaimed with a look of shock on his face.
“Don’t act like you’ve never done it.” I said.
“Not when I was fucking fifteen years old!”
I started laughing. I’m not even fifteen! I was laughing hysterically.
“Are you okay?” Jesse asked with a look of concern on his face.
“Am I o- am I okay?” I yelled, throwing the empty vodka bottle on the ground causing it to shatter. I jumped up off of the tailgate and stared at him. I was so mad now and I don’t know why.
“What the hell do you think? I’m here all alone and nobody cares about me at all! If I died tonight nobody would be affected. What’s the point of living?!” I yelled. I got super dizzy when I jumped up like that and as Jesse was trying to calm me down, I fell to the ground.
Once I was on the ground, I felt fine for the most part. Jesse stood over me and helped me up. I wasn’t mad anymore. I was just really sad now.
“Sorry.” I muttered.
“It aint your fault. I know you’ve been through some emotional shit.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because it’s impossible for you to live here and not.”
I had nothing to say to that, so I just looked down.
“I mean honestly. You’ve prolly seen more shit than any of the fucking brats that go to Parkview or something.”
I stared at him. “Parkview?”
“Yeah, man. I went there. Nobody over there knows pain at all, man.”
After a while, I fell asleep in the tailgate of Jesse’s truck. It probably wasn’t safe, but I didn’t care.
“So how old are you?” he asked.
“Fifteen.” I said. Another lie. I’m only thirteen.
“You’re a small fifteen year old.”
”I never ate my vegetables.”
He laughed and said, “I can’t say that I did either, kid.”
I smirked. “So why are you out here so late by yourself?” I asked.
“I could ask the same about you.”
I stared at him. He was smart. And I liked him.
“Well I got nowhere to go and I can’t drive. Your turn.”
“I don’t believe you.” He said.
“Okay. I was with my brother and he met up with his girlfriend and told me not to go home till he called because my mom told him to watch me. Better?” I said.
“That’s believable.”
“Now what about you?”
“My roommate kicked me out for the night so here I am.”
“That’s kinda funny.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“Me neither.”
We sat in the tailgate of his truck for I don’t know how long and just talked. I was getting dizzy and my head hurt like it never has before but I tried to ignore it.
“You’re a good kid.” he said.
“You’re a good adult.” I replied.
“If only you knew.”
“Ditto.”
Then there was silence. Nothing but the combination of the smell of cigar smoke and tobacco burning moved between us. It didn’t last long; a cop drove by with his sirens on. All of a sudden I was sad again. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. My head hurt and I was dizzy. Why was I so dizzy? I realized that I still had my backpack with the liquor in it. So I pulled out the vodka and started chugging.
“Whoa, whoa little buddy. You’re only fifteen. What the hell are you doing?” Jesse exclaimed with a look of shock on his face.
“Don’t act like you’ve never done it.” I said.
“Not when I was fucking fifteen years old!”
I started laughing. I’m not even fifteen! I was laughing hysterically.
“Are you okay?” Jesse asked with a look of concern on his face.
“Am I o- am I okay?” I yelled, throwing the empty vodka bottle on the ground causing it to shatter. I jumped up off of the tailgate and stared at him. I was so mad now and I don’t know why.
“What the hell do you think? I’m here all alone and nobody cares about me at all! If I died tonight nobody would be affected. What’s the point of living?!” I yelled. I got super dizzy when I jumped up like that and as Jesse was trying to calm me down, I fell to the ground.
Once I was on the ground, I felt fine for the most part. Jesse stood over me and helped me up. I wasn’t mad anymore. I was just really sad now.
“Sorry.” I muttered.
“It aint your fault. I know you’ve been through some emotional shit.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because it’s impossible for you to live here and not.”
I had nothing to say to that, so I just looked down.
“I mean honestly. You’ve prolly seen more shit than any of the fucking brats that go to Parkview or something.”
I stared at him. “Parkview?”
“Yeah, man. I went there. Nobody over there knows pain at all, man.”
After a while, I fell asleep in the tailgate of Jesse’s truck. It probably wasn’t safe, but I didn’t care.