Pinocchio.
When you wish upon a star...
I feel pretend. Like the world’s going too fast and it goes right past me and it can’t see me so maybe I’m not real. Like my head doesn’t work. Like all of a sudden my brain stopped working and the words stopped. And maybe I turned into a doll all of a sudden. Pretty to look at, but not really good for anything. Just pretend. Girls play pretend with dolls. Boys, too. Spencer and I stole his sister’s dolls and made our Transformers kill them. She got mad.
My eyes are heavy, my mind isn’t working, the world is running on fast forward. Pete’s on the phone and I’m trying, trying. My words come out funny and I hope he thinks I’m drunk. But he doesn’t. ‘Cause he knows better. They always know better. I always know worse.
And he must be moving fast fast fast like the rest of the world because Brendon comes in and sits down next to me on the couch. “Baby?”
I look slowly and I smile. But I don’t talk. I don’t want him to hear me talk. Brendon will know. And he’ll be scared. Because I’m scared. And this has never happened before.
I’ve always been real.
And now I’m just pretend.
But Pinocchio was a real boy at the end.
My eyes are heavy, my mind isn’t working, the world is running on fast forward. Pete’s on the phone and I’m trying, trying. My words come out funny and I hope he thinks I’m drunk. But he doesn’t. ‘Cause he knows better. They always know better. I always know worse.
And he must be moving fast fast fast like the rest of the world because Brendon comes in and sits down next to me on the couch. “Baby?”
I look slowly and I smile. But I don’t talk. I don’t want him to hear me talk. Brendon will know. And he’ll be scared. Because I’m scared. And this has never happened before.
I’ve always been real.
And now I’m just pretend.
But Pinocchio was a real boy at the end.