Kill All Your Friends
Maeghan
Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But, honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you.
"Hello."
He sighed. "Hey."
"What's up?"
"I'm coming to pick you up.
I laughed. "Dude. Why? I have work tonight. Where do you wanna go?"
He cleared his throat. "You haven't talked to Kimberlee?"
"No. Not lately. Not since her party." He sounded low so I inquired. "What happened?"
I heard another sad sigh. "Maeghan's dead."
'Cause we are all a bunch of liars.
Tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?
And we are all about to sell it,
'Cause it's tragic with a capital 'T'.
Let it be,
Let it be,
Let it be!
"Maeghan. I can't come to your party."
"Why nooooooot?" she whined.
"Because it's short notice and I have work tomorrow."
"Ahh. You suck. Fuck Papa John's."
I laughed. "Don't be bitter."
"Well I'm gonna come over there and tell your manager to fuck off."
"Please do. He deserves it."
She laughed.
'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
Bababa, bababaa.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
Bababa, bababaa.
It's been eight bitter years since I've been seeing your face.
Bababa, bababaa.
And you're walking away,
And I will die in this place.
"What?" My breath became immediately short.
"Yeah," he whispered.
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"I am." I asked the same question about three more times until he responded. "She overdosed."
"How?" The tears still hadn't shown their faces. Shock had taken over.
"Her fucking boyfriend. She wanted to kill herself. And he gave her the shit to do it quick."
I sank deeper into my bed. After a pause I asked, "When's the funeral?"
"Tomorrow. The wake is today at 5 o'clock."
I glanced wearily at the clock next to me. It read 1:46. "Alright." And I hung up.
Sometimes you scrape and sink so low
I'm shocked at what you're capable of.
And if this is a coronation
I ain't feeling the love.
The air was chilly as I waited to see my favorite band. I'd been up since three so I could get ready properly and be in the front of the crowd. It was 9:28 and the gates didn't open until 10. I was fine because I was in the front, as planned. I sat on a cement platform, similiar to a hurdle, ready to jump over an run as soon as the clock struck 10. I saw a familiar figure in the distance. Short, blond hair, pale (almost translusent) skin. She noticed me too. And when we were close enough to recognize each other, we laughed. "Maygo!" I hugged her.
"Hey. What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see My Chemical Romance."
"Wow. I'd never expect to see you here. I thought you were too gangster."
"Don't worry. I still am." I looked at the large scars she had on her wrist and arms and remembered the bad times. Then I noticed the tattoos on her fingers and palms that she'd done herself. "Where are your tickets."
She grumbled. "The lawn."
"Ahh. Sucks for you. I got pit tickets."
She sucked her teeth. "Fuck you."
I smiled and noticed the girl that had been with her the whole time. Short, Spanish, flowing brown hair, tattoos that decorated her body. "Girlfriend?" I asked.
"Hahaha. No. She's just a friend."
The girl asked, "What school do you go to?" I told her. "Oh. That's where my girlfriend goes. Do you know Ali G?"
I sighed. "Yeah. My twin." We all laughed.
'Cause we are all a bunch of animals
That never paid attention in school.
So tell me all about your problems;
I was killing before killing was cool.
You're so cool,
You're so cool,
So cool!
I stood onto my numb legs and walked to my mother's room then knocked on the door. She came out and asked what was wrong. That's when the tears came. Suddenly and bearing no mercy. "Maeghan's dead!" I yelled.
She hugged me and mumbled, "I wanted to tell you. Not him."
After my tears ducts tricked me into believing they were dried out I pulled away and said, "I'll go get ready now." I called Chris, remembering how we used to hang out in middle school. He couldn't make it and lied by saying he'd be at the funeral. So much for friends. Then I rang Akilah and told her as well. She said she was going to come. She told the truth.
I walked lethargically to my closet and pulled out a thin, black dress from the back. I slipped it on, not really caring about the small hole in the side. I tried and failed at applying makeup. Everytime I looked in the mirror and attempted to put on my eyeliner I'd begin crying and the substance would be washed away by the salty liquid.
'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
Bababa, bababaa.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
Bababa, bababaa.
It's been nine bitter years since I've been seeing your face.
Bababa, bababaa.
And you're walking away,
And I will die in this place.
"And what are yooooou supposed to be?" I asked Maeghan as she walked through the door.
"Can't you tell? I'm a gothic McDonald's employee."
Kimberlee and I laughed. "What the hell? So I'm a pimp. Kimmy's a hobo. And you're a gothed-out McDonald's worker. These are the best Halloween costumes ever.
Maeghan laughed. "So this is your first time trick-or-treating?"
"Yup."
"Well Kim and me are gonna have to show you what it's all about." She paused. "But before we go..." she took out a can of red spray paint and shook it.
"What are you doing," I asked.
Without responding she began to spray my pants. One leg read 'geto' and the other 'pimp'.
Kim laughed.
You'll never take me alive.
You'll never take me alive.
Do what it takes to survive,
'Cause I'm still here.
You'll never get me alive.
You'll never take me alive.
Do what it takes to survive,
And I'm still here.
I walked into the church and saw Akilah and Cassie. Their eyes were red. I greeted them with a sad 'hello' and they asked how I was. I said okay but they knew I wasn't. Maeghan had died. We had been best of friends, along with Kim, in middle school. And, God, how I had regretted losing contact with her for that 10th grade year. Though I was thankful that we had reconnected in the past year.
"Yesterday I was talking to Maria about how our old clique should get together again," Akiliah said.
Cassie responded. "It's sad that this is what it came to."
"I didn't want it to be like this." She sighed. "Not like this."
The wake wasn't to start until 5 and the doors to the actual room with the coffin were still closed. Just being in the dead atmosphere though, with familiar crying faces made me sob again. A woman opened the door and said it was okay to enter.
My heels clicked incessantly against the ground as I walked through the isle to the front. A violet and white coffin sat open on a plateu. Protruding silver flower decor adorned the sides. I didn't want to see her. Not yet. I saw Kimberlee sitting in the front row with the parents. Her hair was pulled back into a matted ponytail and her blue eyes were bloodshot against her cherry-colored, tear-stained cheeks. She saw me and got up. Without a word, we hugged and cried. I felt my shoulder getting wet and I knew she could feel the same but we didn't let go for a long time. Ten minutes, maybe more. And when I let go I asked, "Have you seen her yet?"
She shook her head. I grabbed her hand and we walked over to the coffin together. There she lay. Porcelain skin. Short black hair that curled into her face. But something about the beauty when she was alive had been lost. The warmth had turned bitterly cold. She appeared plastic, like a doll. I wanted to touch her for one last time. But I didn't. For fear of feeling her death inside me? Maybe. I can't be really sure.
The music was terrible. Organ's playing out of tune in minor chords. Depressing us all further and further into the depths of our sorrow. I took a seat in the front row and mourned for hours. Until my eyes nearly feel out of my sockets.
You'll never take me alive.
You'll never get me alive.
Do what it takes to survive,
And I'm still here.
You'll never get me.
Get me!
You'll never take me.
Take me!
You'll never get me alive.
Death is awkwardly strange. Beautiful in the most twisted sense possible. It takes away the loved ones when we least expect it. It causes us to realized that we shouldn't take what we've got for granted. It teases our fears and claws at our hearts. This cycle in Life, called Death, grabs us by the soul and yanks us into oblivion. The sorrow it brings helps us to renew old memories, to reminisce upon better days. It makes the athetist pray. It makes us weep. And all we can do is wait for it to come at it's scheduled time on the clock. Gorgeously lifting away our spirits up to the Heavens. The days of Maeghan's wake and funeral were rainy and dark. But after the clouds had disappeared and the gloom had flown away, rainbows grew. Maeghan was telling us that she was alright. She was doing fine.
'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
Bababa, bababaa.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
It's been ten fucking years
Since I've been seeing your face 'round here.
And you're walking away,
And I will drown in the fear.
But, honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you.
"Hello."
He sighed. "Hey."
"What's up?"
"I'm coming to pick you up.
I laughed. "Dude. Why? I have work tonight. Where do you wanna go?"
He cleared his throat. "You haven't talked to Kimberlee?"
"No. Not lately. Not since her party." He sounded low so I inquired. "What happened?"
I heard another sad sigh. "Maeghan's dead."
'Cause we are all a bunch of liars.
Tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?
And we are all about to sell it,
'Cause it's tragic with a capital 'T'.
Let it be,
Let it be,
Let it be!
"Maeghan. I can't come to your party."
"Why nooooooot?" she whined.
"Because it's short notice and I have work tomorrow."
"Ahh. You suck. Fuck Papa John's."
I laughed. "Don't be bitter."
"Well I'm gonna come over there and tell your manager to fuck off."
"Please do. He deserves it."
She laughed.
'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
Bababa, bababaa.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
Bababa, bababaa.
It's been eight bitter years since I've been seeing your face.
Bababa, bababaa.
And you're walking away,
And I will die in this place.
"What?" My breath became immediately short.
"Yeah," he whispered.
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"I am." I asked the same question about three more times until he responded. "She overdosed."
"How?" The tears still hadn't shown their faces. Shock had taken over.
"Her fucking boyfriend. She wanted to kill herself. And he gave her the shit to do it quick."
I sank deeper into my bed. After a pause I asked, "When's the funeral?"
"Tomorrow. The wake is today at 5 o'clock."
I glanced wearily at the clock next to me. It read 1:46. "Alright." And I hung up.
Sometimes you scrape and sink so low
I'm shocked at what you're capable of.
And if this is a coronation
I ain't feeling the love.
The air was chilly as I waited to see my favorite band. I'd been up since three so I could get ready properly and be in the front of the crowd. It was 9:28 and the gates didn't open until 10. I was fine because I was in the front, as planned. I sat on a cement platform, similiar to a hurdle, ready to jump over an run as soon as the clock struck 10. I saw a familiar figure in the distance. Short, blond hair, pale (almost translusent) skin. She noticed me too. And when we were close enough to recognize each other, we laughed. "Maygo!" I hugged her.
"Hey. What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see My Chemical Romance."
"Wow. I'd never expect to see you here. I thought you were too gangster."
"Don't worry. I still am." I looked at the large scars she had on her wrist and arms and remembered the bad times. Then I noticed the tattoos on her fingers and palms that she'd done herself. "Where are your tickets."
She grumbled. "The lawn."
"Ahh. Sucks for you. I got pit tickets."
She sucked her teeth. "Fuck you."
I smiled and noticed the girl that had been with her the whole time. Short, Spanish, flowing brown hair, tattoos that decorated her body. "Girlfriend?" I asked.
"Hahaha. No. She's just a friend."
The girl asked, "What school do you go to?" I told her. "Oh. That's where my girlfriend goes. Do you know Ali G?"
I sighed. "Yeah. My twin." We all laughed.
'Cause we are all a bunch of animals
That never paid attention in school.
So tell me all about your problems;
I was killing before killing was cool.
You're so cool,
You're so cool,
So cool!
I stood onto my numb legs and walked to my mother's room then knocked on the door. She came out and asked what was wrong. That's when the tears came. Suddenly and bearing no mercy. "Maeghan's dead!" I yelled.
She hugged me and mumbled, "I wanted to tell you. Not him."
After my tears ducts tricked me into believing they were dried out I pulled away and said, "I'll go get ready now." I called Chris, remembering how we used to hang out in middle school. He couldn't make it and lied by saying he'd be at the funeral. So much for friends. Then I rang Akilah and told her as well. She said she was going to come. She told the truth.
I walked lethargically to my closet and pulled out a thin, black dress from the back. I slipped it on, not really caring about the small hole in the side. I tried and failed at applying makeup. Everytime I looked in the mirror and attempted to put on my eyeliner I'd begin crying and the substance would be washed away by the salty liquid.
'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
Bababa, bababaa.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
Bababa, bababaa.
It's been nine bitter years since I've been seeing your face.
Bababa, bababaa.
And you're walking away,
And I will die in this place.
"And what are yooooou supposed to be?" I asked Maeghan as she walked through the door.
"Can't you tell? I'm a gothic McDonald's employee."
Kimberlee and I laughed. "What the hell? So I'm a pimp. Kimmy's a hobo. And you're a gothed-out McDonald's worker. These are the best Halloween costumes ever.
Maeghan laughed. "So this is your first time trick-or-treating?"
"Yup."
"Well Kim and me are gonna have to show you what it's all about." She paused. "But before we go..." she took out a can of red spray paint and shook it.
"What are you doing," I asked.
Without responding she began to spray my pants. One leg read 'geto' and the other 'pimp'.
Kim laughed.
You'll never take me alive.
You'll never take me alive.
Do what it takes to survive,
'Cause I'm still here.
You'll never get me alive.
You'll never take me alive.
Do what it takes to survive,
And I'm still here.
I walked into the church and saw Akilah and Cassie. Their eyes were red. I greeted them with a sad 'hello' and they asked how I was. I said okay but they knew I wasn't. Maeghan had died. We had been best of friends, along with Kim, in middle school. And, God, how I had regretted losing contact with her for that 10th grade year. Though I was thankful that we had reconnected in the past year.
"Yesterday I was talking to Maria about how our old clique should get together again," Akiliah said.
Cassie responded. "It's sad that this is what it came to."
"I didn't want it to be like this." She sighed. "Not like this."
The wake wasn't to start until 5 and the doors to the actual room with the coffin were still closed. Just being in the dead atmosphere though, with familiar crying faces made me sob again. A woman opened the door and said it was okay to enter.
My heels clicked incessantly against the ground as I walked through the isle to the front. A violet and white coffin sat open on a plateu. Protruding silver flower decor adorned the sides. I didn't want to see her. Not yet. I saw Kimberlee sitting in the front row with the parents. Her hair was pulled back into a matted ponytail and her blue eyes were bloodshot against her cherry-colored, tear-stained cheeks. She saw me and got up. Without a word, we hugged and cried. I felt my shoulder getting wet and I knew she could feel the same but we didn't let go for a long time. Ten minutes, maybe more. And when I let go I asked, "Have you seen her yet?"
She shook her head. I grabbed her hand and we walked over to the coffin together. There she lay. Porcelain skin. Short black hair that curled into her face. But something about the beauty when she was alive had been lost. The warmth had turned bitterly cold. She appeared plastic, like a doll. I wanted to touch her for one last time. But I didn't. For fear of feeling her death inside me? Maybe. I can't be really sure.
The music was terrible. Organ's playing out of tune in minor chords. Depressing us all further and further into the depths of our sorrow. I took a seat in the front row and mourned for hours. Until my eyes nearly feel out of my sockets.
You'll never take me alive.
You'll never get me alive.
Do what it takes to survive,
And I'm still here.
You'll never get me.
Get me!
You'll never take me.
Take me!
You'll never get me alive.
Death is awkwardly strange. Beautiful in the most twisted sense possible. It takes away the loved ones when we least expect it. It causes us to realized that we shouldn't take what we've got for granted. It teases our fears and claws at our hearts. This cycle in Life, called Death, grabs us by the soul and yanks us into oblivion. The sorrow it brings helps us to renew old memories, to reminisce upon better days. It makes the athetist pray. It makes us weep. And all we can do is wait for it to come at it's scheduled time on the clock. Gorgeously lifting away our spirits up to the Heavens. The days of Maeghan's wake and funeral were rainy and dark. But after the clouds had disappeared and the gloom had flown away, rainbows grew. Maeghan was telling us that she was alright. She was doing fine.
'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
Bababa, bababaa.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
It's been ten fucking years
Since I've been seeing your face 'round here.
And you're walking away,
And I will drown in the fear.