Lightning Struck

Please Don't Be Mad...

Billie hugged and kissed both his sons goodbye, fighting back tears. It would be the last time he saw them. He felt his bottom lip tremble and closed his eyes to keep from crying.

“Dad, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Joey said, rolling his eyes.

Billie gulped, feeling slightly guilty about his son’s naivety, but he could never tell him. He would be stopped, and he wouldn’t let that happen. He hugged each of his sons one last time despite knowing they were being embarrassed.

“Be nice to Mike and Tré,” Billie told them, trying to keep his voice from cracking. “I promise Mom’s going to be back tomorrow.”

Jakob looked up at him with big eyes, seeming to know something was wrong with his dad. “I love you, Dad,” he said, giving Billie a hug.

A few tears leaked from Billie’s eyes and he turned around quickly before the two could see them. “Bye,” he said shortly before awkwardly getting back into the car. He started the engine and drove away, back to his house. When he pulled into his driveway, he stopped the car and rested his head in his elbows on the steering wheel. He broke down crying now, not being able to hold it in any longer. After all he had been through Death was finally going to win. He wasn’t going to see Mike, Tré, Joey, Jakob, or Adie ever again.

When he finished crying, he slowly got out of his car and went into his house. He went into the kitchen and got a piece of paper and pen out. Staring at it for a moment, trying to get his thoughts organized, he ran his hand through his hair, feeling more anxious than ever. With a trembling hand, he finally started writing. He tried to keep from crying so the letter would stay dry.

When he was done, he folded it up and left it out on the counter where it would be easily seen. With one last look at it, he turned and made his way upstairs. He went into his bedroom and opened a dresser drawer. He reached into the back and took out the knife Death had tried to kill him with. He turned it over in his hands, glancing at the clock. It was already 10.

He went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and there were tearstains all over his face. He roughly wiped some away now with sleeve. His hand shook as he held the knife right above his arm. He took a deep breath before making the first cut. Blood started flowing from the wound. He hissed in pain, tears flowing. He cut himself again, the blood getting everywhere. He squeezed his eyes shut. He was dieing. He let the knife drop from his hands and curled up on the floor.

As he drew his last breaths, he thought of what he had written in his suicide note.

Dear Adie,

Please don’t be mad at me, it’s the only thing I could do. I wouldn’t let Death take you away from me. Please don’t think of me as weak or anything, I just couldn’t let you die. I committed suicide to save you. I could never live without you. You shouldn’t have to suffer because of me. Just please don’t be mad, I love you.


P.S. Mike and Tré, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t hate me for leaving you. I’m sorry about leaving you alone in the band.

P.P.S. Joey and Jakob, I’m so sorry and completely understand if you will hate me. We hardly got to spend time together when I was alive, and now you’ll have to grow up without a dad. I know how it feels like. I’m sorry and hope that someday you guys will understand.

The pain was worse than anything Billie had ever imagined. His breathing was ragged. Until it stopped. Billie was engulfed in the black, into the expectant arms of Death, hearing his laughter as he finally received what he had been trying to get for the past few weeks.