Milestones: Commitment

Michelle was laid back on the couch after a week had gone by. She felt guilty, but almost every day since then she had to call in sick to work, because periodically throughout the day she would be in the bathroom, leaned over the toilet. She was finally convinced that what she had was not food poisoning. Unless it was normal for food poisoning to last an entire week, which she wasn't sure of. She just didn't want what she thought to be true. She wasn't ready. Not to have a baby. Not this young.

Looking at the clock, Michelle contemplated going to the store and getting a test before Brian came home. After all, if she wasn't pregnant, there was no need to worry him, and if she wasn't he would never have to know she felt that way. Thinking of that idea, Michelle frowned. Here she was, back in her relationship with Brian, already thinking of a way to lie to him, of a way to keep something hidden from him. But she didn't want to wait the few days she had before she was expected to get her period - she didn't like 'surprises' or waiting to find answers. She wasn't patient enough.

Finally deciding, Michelle sighed and got up from the couch, grabbing her purse and keys and slipping on a pair of shoes. She went down to her car and started the engine.

She really hoped she wasn't pregnant.

Leaning against the bathroom sink, Michelle held one end of the test, eyes carefully watching to see what the result was. One blue line, and she was fine. Two, and she was pregnant, and had one hell of a bomb to drop on her unsuspecting boyfriend. And then their families, and surely her parents would be disappointed in her. Yes, she was in a committed relationship with Brian, but they weren't married. They weren't even engaged to be married. They hadn't talked about the idea, probably hadn't even thought about the idea. She was twenty years old, and Michelle still felt like a kid sometimes.

And then there was the fact that she was still in college, and neither she nor Brian had dead-set careers. Brian had the band, and Michelle had every faith that he and the boys would go far. But now long was it going to take them to get really successful - successful to support a family? It could be years away.

Looking hard at the pregnancy test, Michelle watched as the second blue line began to appear, almost glowing back at her.

"Fuck," she cursed under her breath, throwing it and the box into the garbage bin. Closing the lid on the toilet, Michelle sat down, one hand covering her mouth as a million and one scenarios ran through her head. She didn't know how to raise a child. Sure, she had a lot of babysitting gigs before, but that was completely different. It helped, but it wasn't the same as giving birth to this other being that you were supposed to have unconditional love for and take care of for the next eighteen years to follow.

Call her selfish, but Michelle wanted to have Brian to herself a little longer before they had a kid. Even if they were to get married, she'd have wanted to wait at least a year or two before trying to have a baby. It was just the way she had planned things out in the big picture.

She wondered if she would even be a good mother. It would be hard, having to devote all her time to a baby, and Michelle liked to have time for herself every now and then, sometimes even pushing Brian away if she wanted to be left alone. And would Brian even be a good father? There was no doubt the baby was his, and Michelle knew he wouldn't deny it was his child, growing inside her. But how would he handle it?

Michelle had moved back into the living room by the time Brian came tromping up the stairs into the apartment. He looked like he'd had a better day than most, and he smiled when he saw her.

"Hey," he said, kicking off his shoes and walking up to the couch. And that was when he saw the worried look on Michelle's face. Eyebrows furrowed, he took a cautious seat next to her. "What's wrong?" he asked. Taking a deep breath, Michelle closed her eyes a moment, deciding there was no sense in waiting.

"I'm just going to come right out and say it...," she said, looking up at Brian, and he felt his gut turn to lead as he nodded. She was going to tell him things weren't working out, that she didn't want to be with him or live with him, and that she'd changed her mind after all. "I'm pregnant."

Mouth slack and eyes wide, Brian just looked at her, not sure of what he just heard. "Wait...what?"

"I'm pregnant," Michelle repeated, and after a moment of taking in Brian's blank stare, she was surprised to se his lips curl into a smile.

"Are you serious?" he asked, smile still growing, and Michelle nodded. "We're gonna have a baby?"

Trying not to smile at the dopey look of excitement on Brian's face, Michelle couldn't help but giggle. "Yes! How many times are you going to ask?" she questioned.

"Oh my God. This is...this is great! I mean...it's sudden, but...wow," Brian gushed, feeling overwhelmed, smiling. Sighing despite how excited Brian obviously was, Michelle looked down at her lap. "Baby? ...What, you're not happy?"

"I don't know, Brian. I don't know how to feel about this. It just seems way too soon, you know?" she asked, looking up at him with a somewhat solemn expression.

"Yeah, but.... It doesn't matter, really. Not to me, at least. All I care about is that I love you, and.... I'm really excited."

"But we're not even married, Bri," Michelle pointed out.

"So? People have kids all the time without being married," Brian said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Baby, I promise you...everything is going to be fine." He brought one hand up to her cheek, his thumb running gently over her skin before he smiled. Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her lips, hovering there for a moment, eyes half lidded before he kissed her once more.

"It's gonna be hard, but I think you'll be a great mom," he whispered, and Michelle smiled, kissing him once more.