Sequel: Angel ›
The Blank Book
Candy Mountain
"Let's go to Candy Mountain!" Tre hopped around the room.
"'Candy Mountain'?" Mike had never heard of it and neither had Billie either.
Tre cleared his throat and began to sing:
"Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up
Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave
When you get inside you'll find yourself such a cheery lamb,
Such a happy, and joy-filled, and perky, merry land
They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day,
It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town
It's the maker of love, the Candy Cave
They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets
Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band
Candy bells, it's a treat, as they march across the land
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground
Turn around, it astounds, it's the dancing, candy tree
In the candy cave imagination runs so free
So, Billie, won't you please come into the cave?"
"Why'd you pick my name?" Billie looked at Tre. He was pretty sure he was crazy.
"Maybe 'cause I like you." Tre said smiling.
"You better not or else you die."
"I was kidding. I swear you need anger management."
"Where'd you even hear that song?" Mike cut in.
"I was bored and I was looking around on the internet when I came upon the awesomest flash video thingy ever! It was about this unicorn whose name was Charlie and two unicorns who kept bugging him to go to Candy Mountain so he eventually went and they stopped to ask the leopluradon thingy for directions and then crossed a magical bridge and came upon Candy Mountain and the letters C, A, N, D, and Y started floating and dancing and Y sang the Candy Mountain Cave song because Charlie wouldn't go in and then when they were done singing, they exploded and Charlie eventually went into the cave and the two unicorns said, "Good-bye, Charlie!" and the Cave closed and he got beat up and woke up back in the meadow to find his kidney stolen!" Tre said in one breath somehow. "But I promise your kidney won't be stolen!"
"Okay... You do know Candy Mountain doesn't exist, right?" Mike asked.
"Shaun the non-believer. Shaun... Shaun... Shaun... " Tre said in a weird voice.
"I think the short bus will be arriving here shortly to pick you up, Tre." Billie joked.
"Oooo! The short bus! The short bus! The short bus! Weeeeeeee!" Tre bounced around, getting even more chocolate all over the place. "Wait... What's the short bus?"
"It's a bus for special people, Tre. Like you." Billie went to the kitchen and grabbed a rag when somebody came in the front door. Adrienne was home along with the boys.
Billie looked into the family room and saw the remnants of the marshmallow war and knew chocolate was all over the place too. She wasn't going to be too happy when she saw it.
"Billie Joe Armstrong! What is this mess?! And why is there a chocolate-coated Tre in my family room?!" Adrienne shouted from where he had just come from.
"Er... He started it!"
"I don't care who started it! Get in here and clean it up! Now!"
Billie sighed and grabbed another rag and some cleaning stuff before walking back into the family room. He threw a rag at Tre.
"Hey!" he shouted.
"Clean yourself up and then help me get this cleaned up. After all, it's all your fault." Billie started cleaning up the chocolate spots on the rug.
Tre mumbled as he wiped himself about how it was really Billie's fault that there was chocolate seeing as how he had been the one who had squirted him with it.
"'Candy Mountain'?" Mike had never heard of it and neither had Billie either.
Tre cleared his throat and began to sing:
"Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up
Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave
When you get inside you'll find yourself such a cheery lamb,
Such a happy, and joy-filled, and perky, merry land
They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day,
It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town
It's the maker of love, the Candy Cave
They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets
Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band
Candy bells, it's a treat, as they march across the land
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground
Turn around, it astounds, it's the dancing, candy tree
In the candy cave imagination runs so free
So, Billie, won't you please come into the cave?"
"Why'd you pick my name?" Billie looked at Tre. He was pretty sure he was crazy.
"Maybe 'cause I like you." Tre said smiling.
"You better not or else you die."
"I was kidding. I swear you need anger management."
"Where'd you even hear that song?" Mike cut in.
"I was bored and I was looking around on the internet when I came upon the awesomest flash video thingy ever! It was about this unicorn whose name was Charlie and two unicorns who kept bugging him to go to Candy Mountain so he eventually went and they stopped to ask the leopluradon thingy for directions and then crossed a magical bridge and came upon Candy Mountain and the letters C, A, N, D, and Y started floating and dancing and Y sang the Candy Mountain Cave song because Charlie wouldn't go in and then when they were done singing, they exploded and Charlie eventually went into the cave and the two unicorns said, "Good-bye, Charlie!" and the Cave closed and he got beat up and woke up back in the meadow to find his kidney stolen!" Tre said in one breath somehow. "But I promise your kidney won't be stolen!"
"Okay... You do know Candy Mountain doesn't exist, right?" Mike asked.
"Shaun the non-believer. Shaun... Shaun... Shaun... " Tre said in a weird voice.
"I think the short bus will be arriving here shortly to pick you up, Tre." Billie joked.
"Oooo! The short bus! The short bus! The short bus! Weeeeeeee!" Tre bounced around, getting even more chocolate all over the place. "Wait... What's the short bus?"
"It's a bus for special people, Tre. Like you." Billie went to the kitchen and grabbed a rag when somebody came in the front door. Adrienne was home along with the boys.
Billie looked into the family room and saw the remnants of the marshmallow war and knew chocolate was all over the place too. She wasn't going to be too happy when she saw it.
"Billie Joe Armstrong! What is this mess?! And why is there a chocolate-coated Tre in my family room?!" Adrienne shouted from where he had just come from.
"Er... He started it!"
"I don't care who started it! Get in here and clean it up! Now!"
Billie sighed and grabbed another rag and some cleaning stuff before walking back into the family room. He threw a rag at Tre.
"Hey!" he shouted.
"Clean yourself up and then help me get this cleaned up. After all, it's all your fault." Billie started cleaning up the chocolate spots on the rug.
Tre mumbled as he wiped himself about how it was really Billie's fault that there was chocolate seeing as how he had been the one who had squirted him with it.