The Pain She Puts Me Through Is What I Need

I yawn in Billie Joe's tattooed arms as the sun starts rising to illumunate our naked bodies laying together. I get out of the bed to make my husband breakfast. I stop to look at our sons' empty rooms and thank Ollie that she takes the kids when Billie Joe and I want to spend some alone time together. I go in to Jackob's room to turn on the computer and I browse through the history pages until I find what I'm looking for. I order the computer to print the pages in front of me and proceed into my mission of making Billie breakfast. 15 minutes later, I go back to Jackob's room, this time with a tray in my hand that consisted of pancakes, coffee, OJ, bacon and Billie's favourite, cherry jam, to add the freshly printed pages to the delicious looking meal. I make my way back into the simply yet tastefully decorated bedroom, to see an already woken Billie Joe.
''Good morning baby.'' He says to me and sits up on the bed when seeing the small feast I'm bringing to him.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a manupulative bitch that knows how to make my husband obey. It's just that I'm a 39 year old who's going through a lot of hormonal changes because of the pre-menoupose phase I'm in. I'm explaining you all of this, since the rest of this story consists of me convincing Billie into doing things. Don't go defending him, it's not like he didn't have it in him.
''Good morning Billie.'' I reply, as I encourage myself to carry on with my plan. ''I made you breakfast.''
''Awe babe you didn't have to...'' He says, as he digs in. I sit next to him, playing with the hem of my see-through nightgown, expecting him to realise the papers laying on the tray. He finally does.
''Adie, what's with all of these papers?'' He asks me, as he takes a sip from his coffee. I take them out of his sight before he reaches one to read. I put on my most ashamed face on.
''Nothing sweetheart.''
''Ah, come on. You're getting me more curious now.'' Oh honey, that's just what I was hoping for.
I hand him one of the papers, still not looking up. I look at him with the corner of my eye, and see a frowning Billie Joe reading. Perfect.
''I have to keep myself, satisfied, you know, when you're on tour...'' I say to him, He looks down at the paper infront of him, than looks up to me and goes 'Oh.', silently.
''Umm, baby, you realise this is a story written about me and Mike, blowing each other, right?'' Bike. I finally look up and shake my head up and down, meaning yes.
''So, you just read these?'' He asks, I can see he's a little confused. Oh, only if he didn't look adorable when he's confused.
''I touch myself, while reading those.''
''These...things. They, turn you on?'' Oh Billie, you have no idea.
''Look, these weren't meant to end up on the tray,'' Liar.''I don't want to destroy our anniversary with stupid sex stories.'' Liar.
''Anniversary? Oh crap.'' See what I mean? This is the reason why I feel no shame while doing this. This is just make up for all the anniversary presents he forgot to buy me. ''Baby, I totally forgot, you know with the tour and all... Things were just hectic...''
''It's OK.'' This is one of those moments where I use my acting skills really hard. I try to put on a I'm sad but trying to hide it look.
''But...'' Billie Joe puts the tray on the floor, ''I can make it up to you right now...'' he takes my hands into his. He plants a kiss in my rosy lips.
''Oh Mr.Armstrong, are you trying to use your sexuality in order to make up for your lack of rememberance?'' I say, with a broken smile.
''Do you want me to?'' He smiles as well, but I put on my sad face again. ''OK, just forget it Adie.'' He pouts like a child and puts the tray back on to his lap while giving me the puppy eyes. He eats the rest of his bacons as he picks the paper printed with slash and rearranges it on the tray so that he can read it without using his hands.
''Baby, I'm sorry, I know you're busy... It's just that... I want this to be a special day for us... Not just...''
''Plain old sex?'' He continues before I can reply. ''No sex for you then.'' This is the most important part of the whole stunt I'm pulling.
''Just give me that paper back then, I'll be fine on my own.''
''Oh Adie, sometimes...'' He stops, and I can see the sparkle in his eyes that shouts I have an idea. He looks at the papers one last time.
''Babe, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?'' I ask.
''Do you... Do you want me to?''
''What?'' I just want to hear those words coming out of his lips.
''Have Mike over...''
''Over for what?''
''This.'' He points to the slash. I hope my eyes didn't just light up. ''I mean, you don't want plain old sex, right?''
''If you want to...''
''I want you to be happy.'' Awe baby, this will make me happy.
''OK then.'' I say, handing him the cordless phone.
''That was fast.'' He says, while dialing Mike's number.
I take the tray from his lap and take it downstairs, trying very hard not to jump and shout all the way over to the kitchen.