Something I Cannot Forget
Two of Two
Someone Else's . P . O . V .
I watched while Toni walked away; her silhouette black against the bright spotlights edging the streets. I stepped onto the front porch and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, she had totally disappeared. I went back inside and sat on the couch. Her shorts were lying on the floor, the white napkin sharp contrasting to black denim. I reached for them but decided against it. No one was to touch them. Let them stay there. It seemed to symbolize the change that was about to take place in our lives. Nothing would be the same.
Toni's . P . O . V .
"Please come back," Robert pleaded over the phone.
"Rob, I can't. I'm living with my friend. I can't leave them now."
"You used to live with us."
"Things are about to change for you guys. I can't always be hanging around."
"I know, but we want you back."
"Bobert, I can't. I've gotta go. I love you guys."
"Bye, Toni."
"Bye, babe."
I set the telephone in the cradle and looked at the faces around me. A quick smile was my good-bye. Vegas was too small for me; I needed change. Like leaving my shorts on the floor: out of character, but relieving. That was what my lingering around was like: a bad habit of cleaning up pairs of denim shorts and tops from the floor---inescapable. Always there. Unchangeable. But when dropped, pleasant. Hard to ignore, but nonetheless, better in the end.
#2's . P . O . V .
Two months after Toni's departure, we got signed. I could never forget her. She was always on my mind. My best friend of twelve years. Two years later, we were back at home. Her shorts still were on the floor.
"Come on, man. Find out what she left."
"Clothes, Max. That's it. Nothing else."
"It's more like what she stole," Bryan mumbled.
"She didn't steal anything either."
"Your heart. Your humanity. Your sanity."
"Shut up!"
"You know it's true." He lowered his voice. "I may only be nineteen, but I know you love her. That's why you won't read the note. You're being selfish with not finding her and telling her the truth."
Night fell on a lonely setting. I stared around at the people gathered in the backyard, where a huge bonfire was blazing. Though the flames were hot, I could feel no heat. Bryan was right. I loved Toni. There was not a doubt in my mind. I excused myself and went inside. The denim shorts were still on the floor, cold from lying there for two years. I bent down and picked the napkin from the pocket. Creased and thin, the paper almost ripped as I unfolded it. Another piece of paper fell from the folds. I read the first one.
Hey, hun. If I know you, you'll leave these shorts where they are for a while until someone kicks your ass into action.
But the other note has what I wrote in the cafe. That's what I didn't want you to read then.
I love you, hun. More than friends. I always have and always will.
Love always,
Toni Martinez
Hurtful words,
From my enemies of the last five years,
What's it like to die alone?
How does it feel when tears freeze,
When you cry?
The blood in your veins is twenty below.
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Something I cannot forget.
So for now, take this down a notch, Crash my car through your window,
Make sure you're still alive,
Just in time to kill you,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Something I cannot forget.
I can't take this anymore
I can't take this anymore
I can't take this anymore
(I cannot feel what you've done to me)
I can't take this (take) anymore
(What you've done to me)So for now, take this down a notch,
Crash my car through your window,
(Window)
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Something I cannot forget.
Toni's . P . O . V .
"Britonia Rachelle Martinez, don't walk away. Please listen to me."
I froze, immediately recognizing the voice. I heard him walking closer; our breathing was the only sound. I jumped when his fingers dusted my bar shoulders.
"Calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you."
"What are you doing here?"
"I had to see you. Bryan told me the truth. That I love you and was too selfish to admit it. Please, Toni. I found your note."
"That was three years ago. Time changes."
"Then look me in the eye and tell me you don't still love me."
"I-I can't."
"So you do still love me?"
"Damn it. What do you want me to say?"
"The truth. Cliches. Whatever makes you feel better."
"Trust me. I'm not good enough for the truth in cliche."
"Then just tell me the truth."
"Yes! Yes, I still love you. I've always loved you. Are you happy now?"
"Only if you are." He wiped away a tear from my cheek. "I love you, Toni Martinez."
"I love you, too, Ronnie Radke."
T H E E N D
I watched while Toni walked away; her silhouette black against the bright spotlights edging the streets. I stepped onto the front porch and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, she had totally disappeared. I went back inside and sat on the couch. Her shorts were lying on the floor, the white napkin sharp contrasting to black denim. I reached for them but decided against it. No one was to touch them. Let them stay there. It seemed to symbolize the change that was about to take place in our lives. Nothing would be the same.
Toni's . P . O . V .
"Please come back," Robert pleaded over the phone.
"Rob, I can't. I'm living with my friend. I can't leave them now."
"You used to live with us."
"Things are about to change for you guys. I can't always be hanging around."
"I know, but we want you back."
"Bobert, I can't. I've gotta go. I love you guys."
"Bye, Toni."
"Bye, babe."
I set the telephone in the cradle and looked at the faces around me. A quick smile was my good-bye. Vegas was too small for me; I needed change. Like leaving my shorts on the floor: out of character, but relieving. That was what my lingering around was like: a bad habit of cleaning up pairs of denim shorts and tops from the floor---inescapable. Always there. Unchangeable. But when dropped, pleasant. Hard to ignore, but nonetheless, better in the end.
#2's . P . O . V .
Two months after Toni's departure, we got signed. I could never forget her. She was always on my mind. My best friend of twelve years. Two years later, we were back at home. Her shorts still were on the floor.
"Come on, man. Find out what she left."
"Clothes, Max. That's it. Nothing else."
"It's more like what she stole," Bryan mumbled.
"She didn't steal anything either."
"Your heart. Your humanity. Your sanity."
"Shut up!"
"You know it's true." He lowered his voice. "I may only be nineteen, but I know you love her. That's why you won't read the note. You're being selfish with not finding her and telling her the truth."
Night fell on a lonely setting. I stared around at the people gathered in the backyard, where a huge bonfire was blazing. Though the flames were hot, I could feel no heat. Bryan was right. I loved Toni. There was not a doubt in my mind. I excused myself and went inside. The denim shorts were still on the floor, cold from lying there for two years. I bent down and picked the napkin from the pocket. Creased and thin, the paper almost ripped as I unfolded it. Another piece of paper fell from the folds. I read the first one.
Hey, hun. If I know you, you'll leave these shorts where they are for a while until someone kicks your ass into action.
But the other note has what I wrote in the cafe. That's what I didn't want you to read then.
I love you, hun. More than friends. I always have and always will.
Love always,
Toni Martinez
Hurtful words,
From my enemies of the last five years,
What's it like to die alone?
How does it feel when tears freeze,
When you cry?
The blood in your veins is twenty below.
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Something I cannot forget.
So for now, take this down a notch, Crash my car through your window,
Make sure you're still alive,
Just in time to kill you,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Something I cannot forget.
I can't take this anymore
I can't take this anymore
I can't take this anymore
(I cannot feel what you've done to me)
I can't take this (take) anymore
(What you've done to me)So for now, take this down a notch,
Crash my car through your window,
(Window)
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,
Something I cannot forget.
Toni's . P . O . V .
"Britonia Rachelle Martinez, don't walk away. Please listen to me."
I froze, immediately recognizing the voice. I heard him walking closer; our breathing was the only sound. I jumped when his fingers dusted my bar shoulders.
"Calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you."
"What are you doing here?"
"I had to see you. Bryan told me the truth. That I love you and was too selfish to admit it. Please, Toni. I found your note."
"That was three years ago. Time changes."
"Then look me in the eye and tell me you don't still love me."
"I-I can't."
"So you do still love me?"
"Damn it. What do you want me to say?"
"The truth. Cliches. Whatever makes you feel better."
"Trust me. I'm not good enough for the truth in cliche."
"Then just tell me the truth."
"Yes! Yes, I still love you. I've always loved you. Are you happy now?"
"Only if you are." He wiped away a tear from my cheek. "I love you, Toni Martinez."
"I love you, too, Ronnie Radke."
T H E E N D