Just One of the Boys

“Zack…Zack….ZACK YOU FREAKING BABY, WAKE UP!” I slapped him across the face with all my might, causing him to jerk awake. I had been standing over him, both feet on either side of his chest when he woke up, so it was not surprise that when he let out a shocked yell, I jump backwards, falling onto his legs.

I scrambled up, brushing dirt off my ass. Zack was staring at me like I had three heads. “Henry?” he whispered, clambering up. “What--?”

“You walked into a tree, dumb-ass,” I lied, grinning. “Not your smoothest, huh?”

“No, you had boobs and your hair was really a wig, and—a tree? Really?” he stuttered, placing his hands to his forehead, wincing at the pressure. (Okay, I might’ve had a hand in that. Who knew my forehead was so hard?) “Wow, that was some freaked up dream.”

“Okay, Zack, I think you’ve lost it,” I laughed, just a little nervously. Thank god, he bought it. He nodded, his eyebrows scrunched up. I turned, letting out my breath with a whoosh when I felt a sharp tug at my hair.

“I KNEW IT!” Zack shouted, yanking me backwards. I spun around, my hands gripping the wig down. (Thank god for bobby pins galore!)

“OW! Owowowowowo!” I yelped, dancing from foot to foot. “Zack, let go!” He let go, shocked. I rubbed my skull, wincing. “What the hell, man?”

“No! You were wearing a wig!” he defended himself, staring at my forehead. He began chewing his lip before something dawned on him. With a ferocious battle cry, Zack tackled me to the ground, his hands scrambling at the hem of my shirt.

I squirmed, I kicked, I punched, slapped, wiggled, hell, I even attempted to bite him, but when he meant business, he meant business. He pulled my shirt off, staring at the bind and the flattened breasts that graced my chest. Zack’s eyes flickered from my chest to my face, before landed, once again, on my chest.

“What. The. Hell. YOU TRIED TO HIDE THIS FROM ME?” he roared, still sitting on my chest.

“Zack--!”

“NO! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE A BOY?” He looked around widely, before continuing. “Who the hell are you?”

“Get off me,” I wheezed, pushing at his chest. He moved his weight to his knees but stayed where he was, pinning me to the ground and grabbing my wrists, holding them over my head.

“What are you? Who are you? Why are you acting like a guy?” Zack hissed, his eyes narrowed.

“What am I, you ask? I, Zack, happen to be a female human with boobs and a vag--” Zack slapped a hand over my mouth, blushing and cutting off my words.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll head straight to the headmaster,” he threatened, moving his hand down my mouth.

“You wouldn’t dare,” I scoffed, chuckling slightly.

“Watch me,” he smirked. If looks could kill, we’d both be dead in a heartbeat. “I can spill your little secret and you’ll be out of the school faster than you can say ‘oops’.”

“Blackmail!” I spat, feeling fear and hatred bubble up in my chest.

“Fraud,” he sang back, gesturing to my chest. After a minute of careful thought, I opened my mouth.

“What do you want to know?”