Just One of the Boys

We had only just sat down at a small restaurant and ordered our drinks, and I was ready to shoot myself. I was just about ready to pick up the knife and stab it into my heart when I came up with a brilliant plan.

“Excuse me, Maria, but I have to go to the bathroom,” I smiled politely and stood, headed towards the bathrooms. After a moments pause of deciding which room to use (Men’s, because I was currently dressed as Henry), I pushed open the door.

Hands grabbed me, one wrapping itself over my mouth, the other locked around my chest, dragging me backwards into a bathroom stall. Eyes wide, I tried to scream, to get away as the person forced me up against the wall. Thoughts raced by my mind, mainly along the lines of Oh my god, I’m going to get RAPED! And as a MAN! How the hell does that even—HOLY SHIT!

“Holly, it’s me,” a voice muttered in my ear. “Stop wiggling, I need to talk to you!” Muffled curses exploded into his hand as I attempted to get free so I could kill him. “If I let your mouth free, will you not scream?” He tentatively released my mouth, and I let out words not even a sailor would dare think about using. Zack slapped the hand back over my mouth, chuckling. “Where’d you learn words like that?” Muffled response. Zack released my mouth so I could answer him.

“Your mom.” Laughing, he let me go, helping me turn around in the confined space. I pulled my foot back and kicked him in the shin. “Asshole! I thought I was going to get raped!”

“Ow! That hurts!” he laughed, rubbing the offended shin. “And keep your voice down. People already think you’re doing girls in the bathroom, no need to think that you’re doing me—or that I’m gay!”

“I love that you care more about my reputation then they fact people might think you’re gay,” I teased him. He blushed and shoved me gently. “Don’t worry, I think it’s sweet.”

“Anyways, what the hell are you doing on a date with Maria?” he whispered. “Now she’ll think you’re dating!”

“Dude, I’ve got it all figured out. We’re just on a friend’s date,” I explained to him.

“Henry—I mean Holly—you have so much to learn about the female sex and dating,” he sighed, shaking his head.

“Zack, I happen to be of the female sex, I know how to treat a girl on a date,” I laughed. “No needed to teach me anything.”

“How many days do you wait before calling?” he quizzed, arms crossed over his chest.

“Do I like this girl?” I asked, smirking.

“No.”

“None,” I replied. “If I like her, you call her thirty-eight hours after the initial number exchange. However, if she’s by definition perfect, you somehow manage to call earlier to charm her and show you’re interested.”

“How the hell do you know this?” he asked, shocked.

“I’m a girl,” I shrugged. When he looked at me like I had grown three heads, I sighed. “Along with an exceedingly lengthy list of eccentric personas, one of those happens to be a guide book to men and their simplistic rules on life.”

“I have a feeling you just epically burned me, but I have no idea what half of the things you said even truly mean,” he whispered furiously. “I finally know what it feels like to be Jack.”

“Ouch,” I giggled. “Seriously, did you honestly stalk me all the way here just to try and lecture me about dating?”

“No, I came to tell you that you’re meeting me in the bathroom tonight at midnight, got it?” he questioned before reaching over me to flush the toilet. “Now, shoo!”

Laughing and shaking my head, I slid past him and out of the stall, attempting to open the door. “It’s pull,” Zack called as he left the stall.

“Dude, Jack moment,” I muttered before pulling the door towards me and returning to Maria who was reapplying her lip stick using her spoon for a mirror. God help me.

“Sorry for the wait,” I apologized, sitting down and sticking my napkin in my lap. She stuck the gold cylinder back into her purse, grinning at me.

“No problem,” she said sweetly, leaning forward and batting her overly-coated with mascara lashes. Maria’s hand inched towards my left hand, and I quickly moved it to pick up my menu.

“Maria! Henry! Mind if we join you?” We both looked up, startled by the disturbance. Nolan, Zack, Jack, Rian, and Jeff all plopped down at our table, crowding around us and stealing our menus. Zack was next to me on my left, Nolan next to Maria on her right, Rian on Zack’s left, Jeff on Rian’s right, and Jack on Jeff’s left. “Didn’t think so.”

Nolan wrapped his arm around Maria shoulders, pulling her tightly into him. She scowled, trying to break loose but failing. “Where’s Alex?” I asked, ignoring Maria’s pained expression.

“Oh Alex? He’s off chasing some mystery girl,” Jeff shrugged. Maria and I both raised our eyebrows, wishing to know more.

“So Alex is taken?” Maria half purred. I winced, half interested and half not.

“Technically, no,” Jeff clarified. “Rian, you explain it, you were actually there.”

“Okay, so yesterday when we all came into town, Alex saw this one chick at Starbucks with her friend. And now Alex is set on finding said girl and claiming her as his,” Rian laughed. “It’s pretty sad, because he’s just going to hurt her in the long run.”

“What do you mean?” My voice shook with nerves as they all stared at me. I cleared my throat. They ignored it, thankfully. Except for Zack who slowly lifted his foot and brought it down on mine, hard. I winced, placing my hand on his thigh and digging my nails into the flesh there.

“Alex is a player,” Nolan shrugged. “He goes through girl’s faster than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s almost a system for him, flirt, fuck, forget. The three F’s. So whoever this chick is, she better be prepared for a whole shit load of hell comin’ her way.”

Right then and there, I decided that I was in no way, shape or form going to have anything to do with a Mr. Alexander Gaskarth, so help me god. I was going to come out of this summer in one piece, no matter how hot or utterly irresistible Alex truly was.