Just One of the Boys

Summer flew by like a wind after the rain, moving faster than I had expected. Seconds melted into hours, while hours melted into days. Soon, a month passed and we welcomed August with weary arms and sunburned smiles.

Love seemed to be in the air, everywhere we turned couples stood together with hands laced together and eyes connected. Hearts strung themselves along the trees, hung in the stars, and spiraled down on the rays of the sun. Love songs seemed to play on every radio station, filling out ears with the melodic notes of lovers in peril, heartbreak, or just pure lust. Love had gotten into our systems like drugs, leaving us with love-related fevers.

It made me sick.

It did nothing to the fact that my friends seemed to have drunk the Kool-Aid and fell under love’s inescapable spell. Everyone was silly with the drug, making it even more unbearable. At times, it seemed like I was the only one not intoxicated with lust.

Claudia and Zack were always holding hands and making lovey-faces, and if Jack and Krista weren’t kissing then they were either eating or sleeping. Rian was just as bad, having found a girlfriend to hang around with, the mystery girl from the carnival whom none of us had met yet (Something about not wanting to scare her off, or something). Even Maria had found a boy-toy, one of the locals who was utterly in love with her.

Alex and I seemed like the only normal couple, the only ones who weren’t kissing, touching, or whispering ‘sweet-nothings’ in each other’s ears at all times. That might have been because of me being Henry every second of the day, other than when we were in our room together. I, however, like to think that we were the only sane ones in a world full of love-drunk crazies.

“Hey, want to play a game?” Alex asked randomly one night in our dorm.

“What kind of game?” I drawled with a blank stare at my computer.

“Every time Romeo makes a comment about Juliet, I get a kiss.”

“We might as well give up right now and make out,” I laughed, placing my computer aside. “He never shuts up about her.”

Alex dropped the book to his side and held out his arms for me. Grinning, I crawled over to him and rested against his chest with a sigh. Moving his lips to my neck, Alex kissed up and down the exposed flesh with a gentle ease.

“If you give me a hickey, I swear I’ll give you hell to pay,” I warned, trying to move aside.

“Aw, c’mon, Hols, live a little!” His breath was warm on my neck, his smile tattooed on the curve of my spine. Hands pressed my hips and feet brushing mine, while a gentle breeze from his eyelashes tickled my cheek.

“Living does not mean getting hickeys all over my neck,” I persisted with a tiny scoff. Twisting around, I craned my neck in an attempt to look him in the eye. “Please, no hickeys.”

“Alright, fine, no hickeys,” Alex agreed with a wink. “C’mon, lean back again, that was comfortable.” Doing as he said, I rested my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes.

Alex wrapped one arm around my waist and picked up Romeo and Juliet with the other hand.

“Read to me,” I whispered softly as I pressed my lips to his neck.

“Which part?” he asked at the same volume.

“Read me the scene where they get married,” I begged. I could feel his chest rise and fall with his laugh, the gentle movement jostling me a bit.

“Amen, Amen, amen. But whatever misfortunes occur, they can’t ruin the joy I feel with one look at her. All you have to do is join our hands with holy words, then love-destroying death can do whatever it pleases. It’s enough for me if I can call her mine,” Alex read with gusto, his left hand rubbing soft circles on my thigh. “That’s a kiss.”

“Fine, c’mere,” I laughed with an awkward twist to face him. He puckered his lips foolishly, and I pecked him quickly. He frowned, making a puppy-dog face. “If you read more, I’ll be able to kiss you more.”

“Screw it, Romeo can wait,” he shrugged, pushing me backwards and sloppily pressing his lips against mine. I giggled, twisting one hand into his hair and moving the other to his upper arm. Alex moved his hands to my shirt, and slowly raised it over my stomach, almost as though he thought if he went slow enough I wouldn’t notice.

“Alex, I’d rather you just take it off instead of moving slower than a snail,” I huffed, pulling back from his lips. “I’m not going to chew your head off.”

“Thank god,” he groaned as he tugged the blue fabric off of my body. “Man, you have no idea how weird it is seeing that bind.”

“You have no idea how uncomfortable it is, so don’t complain.”

Alex unbuckled the bind carefully, pulling me up to a sitting position on his lap. Attaching his lips to my collar bone, he moved his hands to my back to unbuckle my bra. I tangled my hands in his hair and closed my eyes with a sigh. Just as his head dropped further down, my phone rang.

“Ignore it,” Alex growled as he sucked on my collar bone. “Don’t get it.”

“I think it’s my mom,” I hissed, opening my eyes. “I’m gonna need to get that.”

“Holly…!” Climbing out of his embrace, I bent over my desk and grabbed my phone.

“I’m just going to check who’s calling,” I sighed, checking the caller ID. “Never mind, it’s Claudia; I can call her back.”

Tossing my phone back on the desk, I ran to Alex and jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist and allowing him to carry me back to bed.

[&cut]

“Hey, Holly, wake up,” Alex whispered, shaking my shoulder later that night.

“Stop it…” I mumbled, swatting at his hand. “I’m sleepy.”

“C’mon, wake up!” Alex flipped me over, pressing his cold hands to my face. I pulled a face and burrowed my face into the pillow, leaving a sheet to cover my back. “Hols, wake up!”

“What do you want?” Sitting up, I tugged the stray sheet over my exposed skin and blew a lock of hair from my face. “What was so important…oh, Alex, you drank the Kool-Aid...”

“It’s not what you think,” he quickly stuttered out, still holding the ring in his hand. “I mean, it’s not like I’m asking you to marry me, but it’s kinda like a…a promise ring. Like, y’know how in the fifties when you went out with someone you’d give them a pin, it’s kinda like that.”

“How much did that cost you?” I breathed, staring at the silver circle.

“That doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. “Just…Holly, will you uh…”

“Alex, what are we doing?” I whispered, still fixated on the ring. It was silver, and small, but still gorgeous. A tiny diamond, more like a fleck, rested in the center, sparkling in the faint light from the bedside lamp.

“Well, I’m currently almost proposing, if that’s what you mean,” laughed Alex as he rubbed the back of his head. He twisted the diamond between his fingers and swallowed nervously. “I know it’s not a lot, and I know you probably want something different—”

“It’s not the ring, Alex, it’s the question,” I cut him off. “Alex, we’re seventeen!”

“I know! I’m not asking for right now but, I don’t know, maybe in the future? Holly, I know this sounds stupid, but I love you, I love you a lot!” Alex placed the ring on the bedside table and scooted closer to me.

“Alex—”

“No, Holly, please, let me finish. I love you, and I want to be there for you, always. I know we’ve only been dating for what, a month? But Holly, I really do love you!” Alex took my hands in his, stroking them lovingly with his thumbs.

“Alex, you don’t love me!” I cried, turning away from him. “You don’t love me, you don’t!”

“And why wouldn’t I? How do you know what I feel?” he demanded.

“Because we’re seventeen! We’re seventeen and we have no idea what we’ll be getting ourselves into! Alex, I’m only trying to be reasonable. You weren’t made to throw your life away on me, you’re going to be famous with your band, and you can’t do that if you’re tied down to a shotgun-wedding wife.”

“I was made for loving you, screw those other things! Who wants to live in a world with no love? I know you were made to love me,” he protested almost angrily. “I do love you! Why can’t you believe me?”

“You’re a crazy fool, and I’m not giving in,” I shook my head as I crawled to the other side of the bed, struggling to get out of the tangle of blankets.

“Don’t!” Alex bent over and grabbed my arm, turning me back to him. “Please, don’t leave me like this…”

“Alex, you can’t love me,” I hissed. “Look at me, I’m nothing but trouble. You don’t love me, you can’t.”

“I can’t survive without you,” he admitted. “I can’t stop thinking of you, of writing songs for you, of picturing you and me!”

“What? You’ve written me love songs?” This was news to me; I had never even imagined him doing something like that.

“Of course I do, Holly,” he laughed, almost as though it were obvious. “Why wouldn’t I? I would love to fill the world with love songs about!” He must have noticed my wince, because he asked, “Well, what’s wrong with that?”

“Love makes us act like we are fools, throwing our lives away for that one stupidly happy day,” I muttered cynically. “Why should we get married? We’ll have to give up everything, we’d lose our childhood!”

“We could be heroes! Think of it, running away together like Romeo and Juliet!”

“You’d drink all the time!” I reasoned, poking him in the chest with my finger as I turned away from him.

“No, I wouldn’t!” I turned to glare at him, and he let a laugh escape from his lips. “I promise, I’ll give up alcohol if that makes you happy.”

“I’d be mean,” I quickly added, tossing my arms in the air. “I’d be this awful, snobby, and fat bitch that would make your life hell until the day you die!”

“Holly, even if you were a fat bitch and you did nothing but complain, I’d still love you,” Alex whispered as he ran a thumb over my lip.

“Where would we live? What we do with our lives? How would we survive?”

“I’ll get a job! I’ll work three jobs if need be, and I can keep working on the band, and then I’ll make tons and tons of money,” Alex announced. “Once the band works out, we’ll take baths in money!”

“Money isn’t the issue, Alex, I have enough money to last me a thousand lifetimes,” I reminded him. “The issue is our parents, our friends, the press, everyone! What will they say?”

Alex paused, obviously caught on this one notion. He glanced down at our intertwined fingers and gently lifted mine so he could press a kiss to my knuckles. Brushing my hand across his face, I lifted his chin to look me in the eyes.

“I know how close you are to your family, and as much as I hate her, I don’t think I could stand losing my mom,” I murmured. “I doubt your parents would support you marrying some chick you’ve known for a month.”

“We could be lovers!” He jumped up, his face lit with joy. “Lovers, we could be lovers!”

“We can’t do that,” I chastised.

“We should be lovers, and that’s a fact!” declared Alex as he plopped back down next to me. I started to warm up to the thought, picturing us in five years, happy and in love.

“But nothing would keep us together.”

“Love, love would keep us together. We could be heroes, our names would be famous as the teens that got married and spent the rest of our lives in love,” Alex commanded, as he pushed me back onto the bed. Rolling my eyes, I tugged him back over me and pulled him into a chaste kiss.

“What if I don’t want to be famous? What if I want to just live with you in secret, to be the greatest secret the world ever knew, but will never find out? What if I just want you and my happily ever after, no fairytale fame?” Closing my eyes, I imagined ourselves together, living in a tiny house in the middle of now where, not a care in the world.

“Then that’s what we’ll have, a whirlwind romance with no fairytales,” he whispered against my hair. “We’ll write our own endings to our book, and there will be no fairytales.”

Alex kissed me once more, and I could taste the hope he spoke of. It was almost like he was trying to pass it through to me, make me believe that what he wanted was right. His hands wrote love songs against my skin, notes flying up and down my arms while the lyrics wrapped tight around my heart. He was made of music; made of music, hope, and love, while I was made of cynicism, poison, and doubt. He was my Prince Charming, but I was too busy being his ugly step-sister. But every time we kissed, every time we touched, and every time he glanced at me, I could feel the Cinderella in me begging to be free, to get her happily ever after.

Pulling away, our breath mingled in clouds of passion and want, damp on our skin. Alex reached to the wooden table and produced the ring once more, holding it in front of my visage.

“Marry me, Holly Williams,” he asked with confidence. “Spend the rest of your life with me, and I promise to be everything you want and everything you need. I promise I’ll be the Beast to your Belle, the Romeo to your Juliet, and the Ron to your Hermione. I swear my love on the moon.”

“Swear not on the moon, the inconstant moon,” I whispered with a half smile. “That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable. Didn’t you already promise me you wouldn’t be some cliché boy?”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” shrugged Alex, but quickly moved back to the previous topic. “So, what do you say?”

“Let me think on it, and I promise I’ll give you an answer by August seventeenth,” I promised. “That will give me three days to make up my mind, and in three days you’ll know.”

“In three days, you’ll be the soon Mrs. Alex Gaskarth,” Alex teased with a kiss to my forehead.

“Maybe, maybe not,” I teased back.

“Holly, I promise that one day, you will be mine, I’ll make sure of it,” he told me sternly. “I can’t picture myself with any other woman but you.”

Alex placed the ring in my hand and curled my fingers over it, kissing me sweetly. He then lifted my hand to rest over my heart, staring deeply in my eyes.

“I think it’s bad luck if I hang onto the ring,” he explained as I stared at him quizzically.

“I’ll put it on a chain,” I nodded, placing it back on the bedside table. “Alex, I don’t want you to think I don’t like you, I just don’t think I’m ready to go that far. I mean, I can’t even fathom what would happen if we did!”

“Relax, Holly, I’m not worried about that. I’m just glad you didn’t go run screaming from the room,” he laughed, flopping off from his position over me.

“That would be hard to do, I’m naked,” I scoffed. “I’d probably throw you out the window, though, if you weren’t so damn cute.”

“Aw, I’m so glad my girlfriend keeps me around for my looks,” he cooed, nuzzling his nose against my arm. “I feel so loved.”

“Who said for your looks? Maybe it’s for the sex. Who knows, I could be Rian’s secret girlfriend,” I nudged him. “I mean, no one’s met her yet!”

“No, I did,” Alex shrugged. “Her name’s Melissa and she was a friend of a…friend.”

“Wait, how come you didn’t tell me?” I whined as I wacked his chest. “Dude, I thought we told each other stuff!”

“Holly, she’s an ex flings’s friend,” he sighed. “Okay? That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“Okay,” I shrugged, not really caring. “Is she cool?”

“Wait, you’re not pissed that I’m friends with my ex’s friend?” he asked, brows furrowed.

“Uh, no, I’m not,” I chuckled. “Should I be?”

“I just thought…I dunno, that you’d be angry, or something, I mean, most girls are, aren’t they?” I nudged him with my elbow, rolling over to look him in the eye.

“I’m not really jealous, at least I don’t think I am. I mean, you can be fine with an ex’s friend, so long as the friend does light my hair on fire and get you back with the ex. Then it’s not cool.”

“I highly doubt Melissa would light your hair on fire, unless you like, I dunno, really pissed her off,” Alex chortled. “I mean, she’s actually really cool. You’ll like her, if you ever meet her. I mean, Rian’s just being a baby and thinking we’re going to scare her away with embarrassing stories.”

“Hey, if I could survive dating you this long, she can make it,” I yawned, sleep finally catching up to me. Turning over, I flicked the switch closest to my reach, sinking the room in an inky blackness. “I’m going back to sleep, alright?”

“Alright g—wait a second, survive dating you this long?” he quoted, shaking my shoulder. “Holly, what the hell does that mean?”

“It means that you’re insecure and that you shouldn’t worry,” I grumbled, turning back to press my lips sloppily to his. “Go to sleep, Alex.”

“Wait, Holly, before you go to sleep,” Alex quickly hissed, holding my face steady. Dipping his head down, he realigned our lips, moving them slowly and passionately. Pulling back, he brushed his thumb over my cheek and pressed his lips against my ear.

“I love you,” he whispered, his breath teasing my hair. He rolled back over and settled his arm around my waist. Letting my breath out slowly, I drifted off to sleep with a ring burning a circle on my nightstand and a question slowly tightening its noose around my throat.

Before sleep rested over my eyes, a single thought danced through my mind: What will happen if I say yes?