The Ryan Diaries
Prolouge
Ryan Hanson, 19, Gay, Single, Male.
That's me. Ryan Hanson, a single, 19 year old, gay, male. I live in New Jersey, with my best friend, James, in a small flat, just big enough for the two of us. I know what you're thinking, 'by best friend he mean boyfriend'. But no, you think wrong. James and I have been friends since second grade and I value his friendship more than anything in the world. The block of flats we live in is right across the street from our friends, Darley and Selina, house. Me, James, Darley and Selina have always been close, we are like a gang, I suppose. We stick together most of the time and understand each other really well.
I work at the local kids' home with one of my other close friends, Andrew. I know most people would hate to work at a kids' home, but I can relate to the kids, so can Andrew. We both grew up together in the same kids' home, the same one we work at now to be precise. Neither of us ever got fostered or adopted so we spent alot of time together. Sharing various mixed tapes and talking about whatever we felt like talking about at the time. Sometimes I miss us just being able to hang out like that.
My life has been a bit of a rollercoaster tide to be honest. My mum died when I was 1, due to cancer and my dad couldn't handle it, so he killed himself when I was 2. None of family wanted me, they thought was bad luck, thought it was my fault my parents had died. I was brought up to believe that everything bad that happened during my childhood was my fault. I believed it until I was 12, I realised that I had a troubled, make thet very troubled, past but I can't blame myself for everything all the time, or I'll end up old and alone, and I never wanted that to happen. So I got myself together and blocked out all the bad memories, and trust me, there's a whole load of them.
I haven't always been gay though, I found out I was on my 10th birthday. Lucky me, I share my birthday with my hero, Frank Anthony Iero. So, 31st October is my birthday! But, that's going off the point...
My 10th birthday, well the night before, me and Andrew are allowed to have a sleepover in my room. Both of us are sitting on my bed, I look at the clock, it reads 11.58pm. Andrew turned to face me and moved himself foward, so that there was only a small gap between us.
"Two minutes until your 10 Ry," He whispers to me, I feel a shiver go down my spine.
Beep.
"11.59pm, one minute," He whispers, moving closer to me. We sit here, just millimetres away from each other. I can feel his warm breath, breathing heavily.
Beep.
"Midnight," I breath.
"Happy birthday, Ryan," He says breathlessly, leaning in even further.
He closes his eyes and I follow suit. I feel his warm lips pressed against mine. It sends tingles through my veind. I kiss back and soon enough, his fingers are laced with mine. His tongue slides along my bottom lip and I open my mouth, his tongue is inside my mouth, exploring. I push my tongue into his mouth and a small moan escapes from the back of his throat. He pushes me backwards and lays on top of me, our fingers still intertwined and our lips still connected.
I swore that I was in heaven, like everything was perfect. In my mind, nothing could have gone wrong. Until the door opened and somebody screamed.
"What do you two think you are doing? Andrew, get out of here right this minute young man!" Aline, both of our social worker, screams.
Andrew reluctantly left the room, throwing me a sorry look as he walks through the door infront of Aline. She pops her head back around the door.
"And as for you Ryan, you are to stay in this room unless told otherwise, by a member of staff. And meal times, of course. Now, goodnight and happy birthday,"
I cried and cried that night and for many nights after that. Me and Andrew hardly saw each other. I longed to see him, to feel his hands clasping mine, to feel his warm lipson mine, once again.
Well, they are probably the most important memories that you need to know to understand my diary, for now. So, yeah, ciao. Go off and read my diary! That means turn the page! You silly sod. (;
Well, I'm out! Ciao mon amigos!
Ryan, exOh.
That's me. Ryan Hanson, a single, 19 year old, gay, male. I live in New Jersey, with my best friend, James, in a small flat, just big enough for the two of us. I know what you're thinking, 'by best friend he mean boyfriend'. But no, you think wrong. James and I have been friends since second grade and I value his friendship more than anything in the world. The block of flats we live in is right across the street from our friends, Darley and Selina, house. Me, James, Darley and Selina have always been close, we are like a gang, I suppose. We stick together most of the time and understand each other really well.
I work at the local kids' home with one of my other close friends, Andrew. I know most people would hate to work at a kids' home, but I can relate to the kids, so can Andrew. We both grew up together in the same kids' home, the same one we work at now to be precise. Neither of us ever got fostered or adopted so we spent alot of time together. Sharing various mixed tapes and talking about whatever we felt like talking about at the time. Sometimes I miss us just being able to hang out like that.
My life has been a bit of a rollercoaster tide to be honest. My mum died when I was 1, due to cancer and my dad couldn't handle it, so he killed himself when I was 2. None of family wanted me, they thought was bad luck, thought it was my fault my parents had died. I was brought up to believe that everything bad that happened during my childhood was my fault. I believed it until I was 12, I realised that I had a troubled, make thet very troubled, past but I can't blame myself for everything all the time, or I'll end up old and alone, and I never wanted that to happen. So I got myself together and blocked out all the bad memories, and trust me, there's a whole load of them.
I haven't always been gay though, I found out I was on my 10th birthday. Lucky me, I share my birthday with my hero, Frank Anthony Iero. So, 31st October is my birthday! But, that's going off the point...
My 10th birthday, well the night before, me and Andrew are allowed to have a sleepover in my room. Both of us are sitting on my bed, I look at the clock, it reads 11.58pm. Andrew turned to face me and moved himself foward, so that there was only a small gap between us.
"Two minutes until your 10 Ry," He whispers to me, I feel a shiver go down my spine.
Beep.
"11.59pm, one minute," He whispers, moving closer to me. We sit here, just millimetres away from each other. I can feel his warm breath, breathing heavily.
Beep.
"Midnight," I breath.
"Happy birthday, Ryan," He says breathlessly, leaning in even further.
He closes his eyes and I follow suit. I feel his warm lips pressed against mine. It sends tingles through my veind. I kiss back and soon enough, his fingers are laced with mine. His tongue slides along my bottom lip and I open my mouth, his tongue is inside my mouth, exploring. I push my tongue into his mouth and a small moan escapes from the back of his throat. He pushes me backwards and lays on top of me, our fingers still intertwined and our lips still connected.
I swore that I was in heaven, like everything was perfect. In my mind, nothing could have gone wrong. Until the door opened and somebody screamed.
"What do you two think you are doing? Andrew, get out of here right this minute young man!" Aline, both of our social worker, screams.
Andrew reluctantly left the room, throwing me a sorry look as he walks through the door infront of Aline. She pops her head back around the door.
"And as for you Ryan, you are to stay in this room unless told otherwise, by a member of staff. And meal times, of course. Now, goodnight and happy birthday,"
I cried and cried that night and for many nights after that. Me and Andrew hardly saw each other. I longed to see him, to feel his hands clasping mine, to feel his warm lipson mine, once again.
Well, they are probably the most important memories that you need to know to understand my diary, for now. So, yeah, ciao. Go off and read my diary! That means turn the page! You silly sod. (;
Well, I'm out! Ciao mon amigos!
Ryan, exOh.
♠ ♠ ♠
More will come soon, I hope (=Comments, subs? (=
<3