Wish You Were Here

“Dad?” said Estelle. She knew how to work her Dad, she knew exactly how to ask him, in a certain way and she was sure to get whatever it was that she wanted.

“Yes sweetheart,” said Mike looking over the newspaper at his daughter.

”Before I go tomorrow, can we do something with Aunt Jules again?” she said. She was eating her cereal but she suddenly didn’t like the cereal that her Dad always seemed to have for her at his house. She’d liked it when she was younger, this chocolate cereal that turned the milk chocolate but now she was getting older she felt childish eating it but she didn’t want to tell her father this knowing that it would hurt his feelings, sometimes she thought, sometimes Dad just forgets that I’m growing up.

Mike folded his newspaper, placed it on the table then reached for his coffee. “Of course we can but how about we do something different other than go to the diner?”

“Yeah. What though?” she said pushing the cereal bowl aside.

“Why don’t we cook a meal together for her and may be get a movie in,” said Mike.

“Yeah, I’d like that, we can go and buy the food together and…”

“Now hold on, I think we should just check with Jules first don’t you?” Said Mike, his bright blue eyes twinkling at his daughter’s enthusiasm.

“Yeah, I suppose,” said Estelle who pulled the bowl of cereal back towards her as her father went off to call up Aunt Jules.

May be this chocolate stuff wasn’t so bad after all.

--

“But you’ve already bought me a pair of jeans,” said Ramona looking up at Jules.

”So… you’ll need more than one pair of new jeans. You suit the skinny style, I wish I had the legs for them,” said Jules remembering the days when her legs were skinny.

“You have,” said Ramona, placing the jeans back on the shelf. “You have a great figure,” said Ramona. “Mom always says that she got fatter after she had me,” she said, “so make the most of it before you have kids. Get yourself some skinny jeans Aunt Jules.”

Talking about having kids turned Jules’ stomach. That simple, innocent comment coming out of Ramona’s mouth reminded her once more that she could never be a mother, never give birth or breastfeed a baby, her own baby. She picked up the jeans from the shelf.

”You’re having these and not another word about them,” said Jules, “and there is no way on earth that I would look good in skinny jeans so don’t mention it again,” she said. “Hey, this is nice,” she said to Ramona, changing the subject, “this would definitely suit you,” she said picking up a black t-shirt.

“That is nice,” said Ramona but she felt guilty as Jules had already bought her two tee-shirts and some new socks and underwear and she knew that she was paying for her lunch as well.

“Well, you can have it, and I’m hungry so shall we get something to eat after I’ve paid?” she said.

“But you’ve spent so much on me,” said Ramona following Jules over to the till.

“Ramona will you just be quiet about it, I’ve not seen you in ages, I had a lot going on with Clive so, just take the stuff, I may not get the opportunity in a while.” She said handing the stuff to the cashier and reaching into her bag for her credit card.

“Why? Are you going to go away with the guys after all? Dad mentioned that you might and… can you do something about his hair, its got way out of control.” Said Ramona, “and he’s starting to get some grey hairs at the sides, I think he needs some colour on it.”

“I was thinking that too, I have a great idea for a colour for him,” said Jules as she entered her pin number into the machine, “but I haven’t made my mind up about touring with them, its going to be a long tour and I really could do with getting myself sorted here, find a job and somewhere to live.”

“Oh you can do that when you get back from the tour, they’ll love it you know. I think Dad missed you and I kind of think he was glad when you split up with Clive,” said Ramona taking the bags from Jules as she put her credit card away into her purse.

“I missed him too and… things got difficult,” said Jules as they left the shop.

“You changed when you met Clive,” said Ramona. She so loved going out with her Aunt Jules, she loved having chats with her and sometimes she could ask her any questions, get straight answers and not even bother having to ask her parents. Aunt Jules seem to have all the right answers. It was like having an older friend and sometimes she forgot that she was the same age as her Dad.

“Did I?” Said Jules knowing that she had. She’d been stupid.

“Yeah, we didn’t see you as much,” said Ramona following Jules into a nearby café.

“That’s because I went to Scotland and was trying to make a new start with Clive. You know, Ramona I thought Clive was the love of my life, but I couldn’t have been more wrong,” said Jules sitting down opposite Ramona at a table. She reached for the menu.

“Actually, no one liked Clive, he wasn’t the sort of guy that we all imagined you’d get with,” Ramona said. “I heard Dad talking to Aunt Adrienne and Uncle Billie one day saying that he wasn’t for you. They were sort of agreeing with him.”

“Oh were they now,” Jules replied, shaking her head and imagining her friends together talking about her and her love life. It was always a hot topic for conversation.

“Well, they were right,” she said passing the menu over to Ramona watching her face as she scanned it. It was Tre’s face, practically the exact image of him and she remembered when Ramona had first been born, how it had changed Tre slightly and made him a little more mature. She’d remembered calling Ramona ‘little Tre’ back then.

“I think I’ll just have a chicken sandwich,” said Ramona.

”Me too,” said Jules as the waitress turned up and they placed their orders.

“I was so looking forward to the wedding and dressing up and couldn’t wait for you to have children, I so want to be an Auntie,” said Ramona. “I suppose I’m going to have to wait a while longer,” she said, “and then when I’m older I can go shopping with your kid like you do with me.”

“Ramona there is something I think I should tell you,” said Jules, hating this moment and not sure she should tell Ramona, whether this was the right place or time but she knew that Tre wanted Jules to give Ramona a good explanation as to why she hadn’t been in touch so much and this was it.

--

“Billie I’ve been thinking,” said Adrienne.

“Oh, and what about?” said Billie smiling as his wife came and wrapped her arms around him.

“I think Mike and Jules would be good together. I think they’re so similar, they get on and she loves Estelle and treats her as if she’s her own.”

“Adie she treats all the kids as if they’re her own but, come on, stop matchmaking will you. They’re grown people and can make up their minds about stuff like this by themselves,” said Billie.

“May be they need a little helping hand,” said Adie. “Its about time Jules got settled properly, Mike will treat her how she should be treated. May be if she gets to go with you on this tour, it could happen.”

“Mike has never said to me in any form that he likes Jules in that way. He loves Jules, we all do like a sister and I think that’s it. You’re getting confused Adie, drop it.”

“But that night they shared?” said Adie who obviously didn’t want to drop it at all.

“You don’t know what really happened that night,” he said, “you know Jules didn’t give that much away.”

“Well, I think it was obvious that they’d been together,” said Adrienne and smiling as her husband kissed her hand.

“Adrienne, you need to stop getting involved, back of a little.”

“But I love Jules, I want what’s best for her.”

“I know you do honey but how do you know that Mike is best for her.

Adrienne just shrugged.

--

Ramona hadn’t said much at all since she’d told her. Jules felt awful and perhaps if she’d given it some more thought she should have waited until they were back from this trip and now she felt she’d spoiled it and she also noted that Ramona had only eaten half of her sandwich which surprised her because Ramona had her father’s appetite.

“I’m sorry I had to tell you,” said Jules, “but your father felt you needed a decent explanation as to why I wasn’t in contact much.”

“Its OK,” said Ramona, clearly embarrassed and not knowing how to handle the situation. Of course she wouldn’t know how to handle it or what was best to say, she’s so young thought Jules.

”Listen, are you coming back with me to your fathers or back to Moms” said Jules.

“I think back to Moms, I’m seeing Dad tomorrow and I’ve got Fliss coming over for a sleepover, she’s gonna love these jeans.”

Jules smiled to herself as she paid the waitress, then followed Ramona with all her bags out of the shop. They talked idly and Ramona kept on about going on about how Jules should tour with her father and the fact that she herself may want to train to do hair styling because she had dyed Fliss’s red and it looked rad.

On the drive home, Ramona was unusually quiet but as they pulled up outside Lisea’s apartment block Ramona spoke.

“Thanks for a great day Aunt Jules and thanks for all my stuff,” she said leaning over and giving Jules a peck on the cheek.

“You’re welcome, I may see you tomorrow when you come over.”

“I hope so too,” said Ramona getting out of the car then she hesitated and leant back in, “oh and one more thing Aunt Jules, can I…can I be your sort of surrogate daughter.” She said, blushing.

“Oh Ramona,” said Jules. “I thought you always were.”

--

Tre watched Jules as she pulled onto the drive and got out of the car. He knew she’d cotton onto something troubling him and yeah, well something was troubling him because he hadn’t realised up until the moment that Jules left for Scotland last year. He could even pinpoint the moment that he realised that he loved her. He’d always loved her, he knew that, had always looked out for her because she’d always needed looking out for. She’d always been around for him, they’d been there for each other but he hadn’t realised the full extent of his feelings up until then, when it was too late and she had gone. Well, now she was back, he was desperately in love with her, had tried to hide it from everyone but now he wasn’t sure what to do for the best.