You're the Reason I Can't Control Myself

“You sulking under there?”

I wiggled my way of my current imprisonment and glared at my brother.

“No, I was merely looking for musical inspiration,” I huffed, running a hand through my hair to get it back into it’s original place.

“Under a duvet?” Shannon laughed, sitting next to me on my bed. “I highly doubt it.”

“It could be there!” I defended myself. “You never know!”

“Face it, Jay, you were sulking.”

“Was not.”

“Admit it.”

“No.”

“Do it.”

“No.”

“You know you want to.”

“I do not.”

“Yeah you do.”

“Shut up.”

I scowled and lay back down, rolling over so my back was to Shannon. He couldn’t stand it when he thought I was angry at him. Any. Minute. Now.

“Aww, come on Jared, I was only messing.” His hand came to rest on my shoulder, rubbing it in, what I assume to be, some sort of reassuring manner.

I shrugged.

“Jared…” he sighed and moved on the bed so he was peering over my shoulder. “Jared, come on, tell me what’s bugging you, I want to help!”

“Mph, fine.” I turned back over to face him, not bothering to sit up. He lay to face me too. We did this a lot when we were kids, lie in his bed and chat. Okay, that sounded kinda incesty. It wasn’t, really, usually it was because I’d had a nightmare or something when I was really little. Then, he’d give me girl advice when I was at the awkward teen stage, then I’d give him girl advice when I turned out to be the hotter one (kidding) and theeeeen, I told him I liked boys too. Which wasn’t all that shocking, I was a rather flamboyant child.

“So, what’s up?” Shannon asked, shifting around on the bed, trying to get comfy in the large amount of pillows I’d used to build a small fort. I find it easier to sleep in enclosed spaces…

“I like him, the new guy,” I said.

“What, Sean?” Shannon asked, looking up at me.

“Yeah, him,” I grinned. “He’s cute.”

“So what’s the problem then?” Shannon asked.

“I dunno if he feels the same way about me,” I muttered, smile drooping. “I always seem to bring up things he doesn’t want to talk about, or be a bit intense around him, ya know?”

“Well, you do seem slightly strange to people we’ve just met…” Shannon mussed.

“Not helping.”

“I know, I know,” he laughed. “But have you seen the way he looks at you? Seriously, I think the kid’s in love with you.”

“Yeah, but thousands of teenage girls look at me the same way,” I scowled. “How do I like, know he thinks that way?”

“You could ask him?” Shannon suggested.

“What?! No! That’s not something I do.”

“Then what is something you do?” Shannon asked.

“I dunno, can’t you find out for me?” I whined.

“No, that’d be weird.”

“But you’re my big brother!”

“Oh, yeah, so I sidle up to the kid and ask him if he wants to fuck you?! I don’t think so!”

“Shannon, you’re no fair,” I sighed, hitting his arm lightly.

“And you’re incredibly immature for a thirty six year old man,” Shannon told me. “Speaking of which, doesn’t the age gap bother you?”

I gave him an incredulous look.

“Oh yeah,” he laughed again. “Paris Hilton…”

“Do not bring that up!” I practically shrieked. “I told you! Never. Ever. Bring that up! Anyway, she’s older than Sean is. And I don’t mind Sean’s age.”

“But does he mind your age?” Shannon shot back.

“Good point…”

“Maybe you can’t get this guy, Jay,” Shannon told me. “I know you usually get who you want, but maybe this one’s a bit out of your reach.”

“But I don’t want him to be,” I sighed. “How do you think I could get him to like me? As a person, not as a celebrity or whatever?”

“I dunno,” my brother shrugged. “Try like, toning down your attitude a bit maybe? Like, talk to him like a person, or talk to his friend then work your way to him, or, I don’t know, something!”

“Yeah, I suppose start of small and work my way up.”

“And maybe if you stop bringing broccoli onstage with you, I think that tends to confuse people,” he laughed.

“But- yeah, I suppose you’re right.”