You're the Reason I Can't Control Myself
Chapter Seven
“Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight…” Gavin sang as he waltzed around the room with his microphone. Thank god we weren’t actually playing and this was only a sound check, I think a thousand fan girls might have a heart attack if he did do that. Despite our best efforts of playing our set to make sure all was in order, not much was happening.
“…You’re 100% sure you’re not gay, Gav?” I asked, grinning as I whipped out the microphone lead and let it slap him on the back of the leg.
“Ow! What? No, I’m sure,” he replied, leaning down to rub his calf. “You’re a prick.”
“Love you too,” I cooed, deciding that the more annoying side of my obviously addicting personality wanted to shine though.
“You’re….odd today,” Rhys commented from my side. I looked over at him, watching him tune his little bass as he spoke.
“What? Why do you say that?” I pouted, dropping the microphone.
I caught the irritated look on the sound guy’s face as he realised we really weren’t going to bother today, far to distracted. He flounced off, all huffy, to get another cup of coffee and a donut. Good for him.
“Well it’s been days since you’ve sulked, that’s one thing.”
“I never sulk!” I exclaimed.
“Yes you do. You’re more melodramatic than a pregnant woman.”
“Normally you throw total shit fits over people like touching your hair gel or something,” Gavin chimed in. “I used it, in full view of you, and you didn’t say a thing.”
“It’s been days since you said my penis was tiny,” Bob grinned.
“And it was only once you crawled into my bed last night to ask for a cheeky hand job,” Matthew added.
“Wooooah!” I shouted, holding up my hands in defeat. “One nutcase at a time, please! What’s this? Some sort of epic SS investigation?”
“A little, yeah. Might be something we need to intervene over,” Rhys pointed out, putting down his bass and crossing his arms. All of them, even Snoz who was actually silent at the time, stared at me, kinda of encircling me so that I edged a little closer to the door.
“What is it?” Bob questioned, more quickly following, so fast I couldn’t even tell who was saying what.
“Go on.”
“Did you get laid?”
“By someone other than Matthew?”
“Other than Ian?”
“Was it Jared?” Matt asked, looking cheeky.
I froze and stared at them all, eyes widening and cheeks beginning to flame. Ha…Jared. Like I’d ever have sex with him. Like he’d EVER have sex with ME more like. Like he’d ever even consider it. I was just Annoying Fan-boy #672 … who happened to have a few conversations with him but usually just ended up awkward because I can never thing of an answer for anything. It was all a little screwed up really.
“It was, wasn’t it?!” Rhys and Gavin both exclaimed, looking a mix of shocked and amused at the same time.
“No! We haven’t done anything. Literally.”
“Bet you wish you had though,” Bob smirked, propping his guitar up against the drum kit.
“No! Course not…”
“Ah! He’s lying! I can tell!” Gavin laughed. God damn, hiding things from someone you’ve known for 21 years is a little tough. He knows everything. The bastard.
“Sean likes Jared, Sean likes Jared!” Rhys chanted, poking Matt to join in, who quickly followed instruction.
“Shut up!” I growled, balling my fists in an attempt to look ‘well hard’ but only succeeding in having a bit of a hissy fit.
I knew that 30 Seconds To Mars’ dressing room was only down the hall and they were normally rather quiet, so this had the potential to be heard by them, and more importantly, Jared. I didn’t need him to know this and just think I was another star struck little fucker who wants him naked in my bunk--- ok. Enough imagery there, thanks. I don’t need to make this situation worst.
“Oooh, why? It’s true.”
“I don’t care. Just be fuckin’ quiet. Don’t tell him.”
“Aw. S’cute though.”
“It’s not cute! It’s typical. It’s obvious nothing would come of it so just shut up.”
The only thing that was likely to happen if he found out was for him to be creeped out and then things to just get awkward and we’d go the whole tour not saying another word to each other. Which I really don’t want.
I stormed off, if Rhys wanted me to sulk, then hell, I was going to sulk.
--
Just admit it!
This was getting ridiculous. I’d spent the rest of the day being totally recluse from everyone, I hadn’t even looked at anyone from the other band, especially not Jared, I couldn’t bear it. Soon enough it’d slip out and that’d probably fuck up the tour. But…even so…I kind of wanted him to know. Then I wouldn’t feel so weird.
"I think...I like Jared..." I finally said. Musing over the words as Matthew looked up. I thought he might grin and say ‘I told you so’ or something. But he didn’t.
"Sean," Matthew said frankly. "It's just a crush, you're star struck, that's all."
"No, its not! I really like him," I replied flapping my hands for emphasis. "Honestly."
"Whatever you say."
“I’m serious, Matthew…I really like him. Like…properly.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything else. I sighed. He was all for believing it earlier. I suppose that was just them messing about, wanting to make me feel stupid, which it did, but the thought that I might actually have feelings for someone 12 years older than me who is a mega celebrity and everything…it was probably a bit daunting. A bit typical. A bit too Sean Smith.
“…You’re 100% sure you’re not gay, Gav?” I asked, grinning as I whipped out the microphone lead and let it slap him on the back of the leg.
“Ow! What? No, I’m sure,” he replied, leaning down to rub his calf. “You’re a prick.”
“Love you too,” I cooed, deciding that the more annoying side of my obviously addicting personality wanted to shine though.
“You’re….odd today,” Rhys commented from my side. I looked over at him, watching him tune his little bass as he spoke.
“What? Why do you say that?” I pouted, dropping the microphone.
I caught the irritated look on the sound guy’s face as he realised we really weren’t going to bother today, far to distracted. He flounced off, all huffy, to get another cup of coffee and a donut. Good for him.
“Well it’s been days since you’ve sulked, that’s one thing.”
“I never sulk!” I exclaimed.
“Yes you do. You’re more melodramatic than a pregnant woman.”
“Normally you throw total shit fits over people like touching your hair gel or something,” Gavin chimed in. “I used it, in full view of you, and you didn’t say a thing.”
“It’s been days since you said my penis was tiny,” Bob grinned.
“And it was only once you crawled into my bed last night to ask for a cheeky hand job,” Matthew added.
“Wooooah!” I shouted, holding up my hands in defeat. “One nutcase at a time, please! What’s this? Some sort of epic SS investigation?”
“A little, yeah. Might be something we need to intervene over,” Rhys pointed out, putting down his bass and crossing his arms. All of them, even Snoz who was actually silent at the time, stared at me, kinda of encircling me so that I edged a little closer to the door.
“What is it?” Bob questioned, more quickly following, so fast I couldn’t even tell who was saying what.
“Go on.”
“Did you get laid?”
“By someone other than Matthew?”
“Other than Ian?”
“Was it Jared?” Matt asked, looking cheeky.
I froze and stared at them all, eyes widening and cheeks beginning to flame. Ha…Jared. Like I’d ever have sex with him. Like he’d EVER have sex with ME more like. Like he’d ever even consider it. I was just Annoying Fan-boy #672 … who happened to have a few conversations with him but usually just ended up awkward because I can never thing of an answer for anything. It was all a little screwed up really.
“It was, wasn’t it?!” Rhys and Gavin both exclaimed, looking a mix of shocked and amused at the same time.
“No! We haven’t done anything. Literally.”
“Bet you wish you had though,” Bob smirked, propping his guitar up against the drum kit.
“No! Course not…”
“Ah! He’s lying! I can tell!” Gavin laughed. God damn, hiding things from someone you’ve known for 21 years is a little tough. He knows everything. The bastard.
“Sean likes Jared, Sean likes Jared!” Rhys chanted, poking Matt to join in, who quickly followed instruction.
“Shut up!” I growled, balling my fists in an attempt to look ‘well hard’ but only succeeding in having a bit of a hissy fit.
I knew that 30 Seconds To Mars’ dressing room was only down the hall and they were normally rather quiet, so this had the potential to be heard by them, and more importantly, Jared. I didn’t need him to know this and just think I was another star struck little fucker who wants him naked in my bunk--- ok. Enough imagery there, thanks. I don’t need to make this situation worst.
“Oooh, why? It’s true.”
“I don’t care. Just be fuckin’ quiet. Don’t tell him.”
“Aw. S’cute though.”
“It’s not cute! It’s typical. It’s obvious nothing would come of it so just shut up.”
The only thing that was likely to happen if he found out was for him to be creeped out and then things to just get awkward and we’d go the whole tour not saying another word to each other. Which I really don’t want.
I stormed off, if Rhys wanted me to sulk, then hell, I was going to sulk.
--
Just admit it!
This was getting ridiculous. I’d spent the rest of the day being totally recluse from everyone, I hadn’t even looked at anyone from the other band, especially not Jared, I couldn’t bear it. Soon enough it’d slip out and that’d probably fuck up the tour. But…even so…I kind of wanted him to know. Then I wouldn’t feel so weird.
"I think...I like Jared..." I finally said. Musing over the words as Matthew looked up. I thought he might grin and say ‘I told you so’ or something. But he didn’t.
"Sean," Matthew said frankly. "It's just a crush, you're star struck, that's all."
"No, its not! I really like him," I replied flapping my hands for emphasis. "Honestly."
"Whatever you say."
“I’m serious, Matthew…I really like him. Like…properly.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything else. I sighed. He was all for believing it earlier. I suppose that was just them messing about, wanting to make me feel stupid, which it did, but the thought that I might actually have feelings for someone 12 years older than me who is a mega celebrity and everything…it was probably a bit daunting. A bit typical. A bit too Sean Smith.