Saint Vanity

Well I was sick of it. I wish I wasn't such a turn off. But I guess god fucking hates me, or thinks its funny how the world can laugh at my attempted romance. Well I don't care I hate romance anyways. Like the twilight books make me wanna vomit. I will admit the first one I read. And it wasn't all that bad. Belle sounded pretty hot. But I was reading the second one, and had to put it down because Belle became such an idiot.

Like 'OH EDWARD LEFT A HOLE IN MY HEART' oh boohoo cry me a river. hes probably sucking blood from a new chick now, I could always see he was two timing her. Actually that would probably make a great twist. I think i would start reading again if that happens.

"Um Sid there's something you should know?" Todd looked kind of blank like maybe he was trying to figure out what he was about to tell me.

I looked around everybody seemed asleep, Even Kennedy's eyes were shut. Her Purple eye shadow heavy on her lids.
Joy's stomach roes and fell like a metronome. I was pretty sure us men were safe to talk about manly things about now.

"Alright whats up?"

Todd shuffled around a bit in his seat. "I didn't actually get laid by a college girl today."

I rolled my eyes. Tell me somthing I don't know captain Obvious. "Duh, Todd you would have told me a whole lot sooner, if that would ever be the case."

Todd shrugged. "I actually got laid by Silvia."

I raised an eyebrow. "....shut up Todd. I have had just about enough of your bullshit."

"No, No I'm not even Kidding!" His hands were shaking on the stering wheel. He finally made eye contact with me. "Really."

I squinted my eyes and crossed my arms. "Well then hot-stuff where did you do her?"

Todd tucked his head a little bit. "Girls bathroom after 3rd period."

I whipped my arms in the air. Like a WHAT-THE-HELL-MAN kinda thing.

"God I'm sorry man I just....she was. I" He sighed. "I hated it."

"HA! NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"Shhh," Todd held me to a whisper. "God! Sidney your gonna wake up the fucking country!"

"Ya cunt-tree! Fuck you Todd Walters! fuck you!" I flipped him the bird. Piss me off. I'll show him.

"Don't be jealous just because your a virgin..." Todd held out 'virgin' like he was saying 'retard' fuck you Todd.

"Oh ya well yesterday you were one too ya Horny bastard!" God I'm so pissed I could shove his big ass nose into a pencil sharpener and grind it up till i got Todd Walter nose shavings.
Why did Kennedy have to find me. Silvia could have probably had me right there in the hallway. Then I wouldn't be hating Todd because then I would have lifted the virgin curse form my lame Marilyn Manson/Jack White/Gerard Way body.

"You know you were just another fuck to her? She was proably disapointed." I knew for a fact I had a better dick then Todd. No, Im not some kind of freaky boy who stands in the mensroom and measures, but still. I got more package then that kid could dream for.....Why am I tell you this....Oh what ever now you know.

Fuck you Todd Walters Fuck you

I'm hungery. Starving, NO! Ravicing! I could eat Todd! actaully I would perfer to eat him. So he would stop rubbing in his ho incounter.
Todd the other white meat. I would mass produce it. People would go all cannible just to try his delicious-prick, flesh. Maybe Anarchy would take over. Yeah that would not be so bad.
Considering democracy is pretty much made up of whores fucking politics to make america so great.

Im pretty sure anarchy wouldn't last long with me being so hungery and there being only one of Todd. Mass production would be 1 Todd. And I would just be burned at the stake for thinking about anarchy. Wow my life is shit.

We stopped at a white castle. Er at least it looked like a white castle from where we parked. Todd first got out and stepped on what looked like a corpse of a large cat. Freaked him out a bit. But then again he was really a wuss.
Kennedy looked tierd and was still really still so I didn't bother to tell her we were leaving to get a 'Big-mac'.

I got out and steped on that cat-corpse with my doc martins and sent what ever spirit that cat had left, straight to hell. I walked up behind Todd a distance. So I looked like I was stalking him. Todd walked in the attomatic doors and I slipped in right before they closed.
The Mcdonalds was Kinda like a Small thug shop. Every one who was working the night shift looked like a former criminal. Big huge guys with tattoos and earings every where. Would would probably be me If I benched more then 40. But we can't all get what we want now can we. But the tattoos and pircings...well mom never had to know I got a lip ring in the 8th grade. But it closed up after eating Peanut butter and Jelly for a year straight.

Todd Grazed the Donalds with his eyes squinted and his perfict Swooshy hair in place. He casualy santered over to the counter where a Big black guy with a smirk on his face, was.
He layed his arm across the counter like he owned the place. Making one of his famous large sighs. what a pussy.

"I'm gonna have a Big-an-Tastey. and get me one of those little iced coffee things."
The Big guy was looking at Todd like he was the other white meat. Or maybe thats why he worked at a McDonalds in the middle of nowhere. So he could eat pussy-kids like Todd.
That would make me happy.

"Would you like a drink with that." The Big black guy growled.
maybe he wanted the right moment to pounce on him and grill his pussy-guts for the hamburgers at this fine establishment.

"Yeah, get me a Coke."

That did it the black guy gave Todd this evil look. "You get your own drink." He pointed to the drink despencer.

Todd looked a little shoked but he swipped it off his shoulder and stood on the other side and waited for the guy with the gadges to make his burger.

I walked up to the Black Guy. Gave him my best Scare-face look. So I looked like I was not after Todd and his stupid ass 'get me a drink big scary black guy!'