Saint Vanity

I ran like hell was on my heels. I threw open a door which sent a couple of ladies to look at me funny, but said absolutely nothing considering maybe i was a transsexual or some shit. Everyone is extremely excepting in a gay bar, I should remember that. Im gonna make a mental note when I'm feeling low to come and get hit on by some fags, ands come out with a better self esteem why not.

I dabbled to the first stall and got down on my knees. I didn't bother to close the door because I felt some nasty shit in the back of my throat. I could feel it ready to toss. I gripped both ends of the bowl with my hands. My whole body was shaking like that one guy from the angel defect with the seizure dancing. except i didnt have a pair of antlers to make the shaking look more scripted.

I felt really cold. Freezing, and then a quick change to burning up. The toilet was blurring out of my vision. God remind me to never drink again. I felt that shit in my throat climb my neck and drip out. I threw my face in the toilet bowl and heaved up every thing i had today. Im pretty sure was only the bloody Mary's. Who knew those things would toss me over.

Started thinking about all the people I've seen who needed to hold their friends hair back when they threw up. I wish Kennedy would pull back my hair. I think I need to cut it. I felt my throat feel dry again. I leaned back on my feet and looked up on the ceiling there was some dirty words and rumors. Like 'call for a good time girls...(some number that was etched out).' Pretty elementary school stuff really. Just to show you that even adults don't grow up. Funny how everyone is so immature, Like how adults would stress that kissing in the hallways isn't appropriate then go home and load up on kid porno.

I felt the throat shit come back. I threw the rest of what was in my gut and flushed the toilet. I got up and turned around. I notice all the ladies had left and a new girl had come in. She looked about 90 pounds and looked pretty fail. What was she doing at a bar like this. I tried not to look at her and scare her away. I quickly walked to the sink and washed the puke from my face.

"What happened?" I turned around to see the Girl looking at me with pale eyes that were to big for her sunk in face. She could be pretty, she really could. But she looked sickly and thin. I wanted to touch her face and know what it felt like to have skin to big for your face but i just looked at her and said:

"I had eh much the drink." I shrugged, like it happened every day. Did';t think she bought it though, but she nodded anyways.

"Are you gay?" She looked down at her ballet shoes.

"Naw im straight, Im findin' meh friendz daddy hez a drag queeen" I felt like she was flirting with me but i didn't have the heart to put her down. She looks so very fragile. Like i might break her if i said the wrong things.

"Im Marty, I'm a recovering heroin addict." She crossed her arms like she was proud of herself. She held out a bony hand for me to shake but I kept missing it. Eventually she just forcefully grabbed my hand with hers. I don't shake hands very often when i meet people but then again. I don't make meeting people in the women's room while drunk a part of my every day life.

"Immm SSssid, immmiture badd azz." I smiled hopping she got my joke. She giggled and shook my hand with more strength then I expected for such a little person.

"Well its a pleasure Sid, Your quite a happy drunk I must say."

"Guesses so," I shrugged. Well at least i wasn't like speaking my thoughts or I hope i wasn't. Wait. Was i saying all this....I crossed my fingers.

"Well I have to go to the bathroom so I'll talk to ya later." she giggled again and disappeared into the next stall.

"Guhbyee. Nice meeting ya Martyy." How strange.

Just then Warm arms wrapped around my waist. I looked around sort of panicked.

"God Sid you scared me half to death!!!"

"Kennedy?"

"Yes its me! You fucking douche bag! Do you know how much Joy was telling me about drunks and how they can die from hitting their head on a toilet, or choke on their own vomit!?"

That sounded like somthing Joy would say. poor worried girl. Poor Kennedy.

"Sooorry I worriedd ya Kennnedy, mmm ok now."

Kennedy hugged me really tightly and let go. She grabbed my hand which must have been freezing like the rest of me now that my inner body changed seasons again.

"Adelaide,That Drag queen on stage was Joy's father!"

I almost threw up again. Oh of all the drag queens in this establishment, Joy's dad had to be the Exotic-neurotic dancer. Wonderful. I never seise to pity that poor girl. I just rolled my eyes and Kennedy, pretty much drag me out of the chicks room and Back into the bar.

Kennedy walked straight up to a big man in black. And Told him that we were friends of Adelaide's. Im sure it wouldn't have gotten us in if Kennedy had been a man though. But Kennedy's not a man, thank the lord. That would searve for some awkward fantasies. Not that I had fantasies about Kennedy....or at least lately.

We walked into a room that was pretty well lighted compared to the shrubby bathroom and the black bar. There were about 5 or 6 vanity stations all empty except for one were a man sat with shaggy red locks and his bare chest showing. With a pair of fishnets and pink stilettos probably from his strip tease earlier. I had to guess this was the one and only, Adelaide Schultz.

"Well hey, You must be Kennedy and Sid!" He got up and gave me a pat on the back. He sounded pretty Manley to me. He walked like a dude too. This was confusing me somthing fierce. "Im Adam Schultz nice to meet you kids."

So thats how he got Adelaide, from Adam. Adam Schultz was Joy Schultz father. How couldn't I have gotten that earlier. Honestly it really wasn't that much of a mystery that the drag queen and joy had the same last name. i should be shot.

"Yeah, thats us, I'm Kennedy, Kennedy like the band not JFK. Nice to meet u Mr. Schultz." I hate the way Kennedy used her little 'like the band not JFK.' deal. Because it was total bullshit. I remember hearing her mom tell me the story of her name. Her parents are a pair of Euro trash and wanted nothing to do with America except for the fact they would be living here for her Dad's work. Which Ironically they named there kid Kennedy after John F. Kennedy. Saying some sort of protest for 'The last great president America would ever elect' or some shit like that.

But Kennedy liked to think she was named after The Dead Kennedy's. But who wouldn't.

"Im Sssid.....Loved your act." Lie.

But he smiled real big at me patted me on the back again. "All in a day's work my boy. Glad you enjoyed it.