Saint Vanity

After a rousing game of eye spy with the shock rock king, an ugly Police lady told me that i could have my call. Well at least somethings in the movies they keep. Thank god its the call thing.

I got up to a regular looking pay phone and thought about who to call. My Dad? Well that would go like:

Me: Hey....Dad...

Dad: Hey Sport! Say, where were you the past two days, you never came home. You better not be selling heroin out of a car and getting arrested for it HAHAHAH

but any ways Where are ya?

Me: .......

See i couldn't call dad that would just be asking for a shit load of lectures on how to be responsible and "I'm disappointed in you!" Blah Blah Blah "Your arrested for what!" Blah blah blah. "Sport your disowned as of now."

I could call Todd? His phone is always on and I know his number by heart. Plus he could just go to the nearest ATM machine and get the money to bail me out. He was really the most logical answer right?

Me: Hey Todd

Todd: SID! Where the hell are you!? Me, Ken and Joy have been worried sick about you

Me: Is ken back? Thank god, anyways Im more bad ass then you, I got arrested for Drugs.

Todd:....i didnt think you did drugs....

Me: I don't but i was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Todd: and you want me to bail you out?

Me: Yeah, Basically, But I promise i will forgive you for the whole Silvia thing and we can pretend i never called you a pussy boy.

Todd: You called me a what!!!

Me: It doesn't matt-(Todd hangs up)

Todd:....Beep beep beep beep

I could always call my mom I have her number memorized since she left because she had left it on the table the day she walked out. I never actually called her, ever but I guess i have it in my mind for a reason i can't quite explain.

I picked up the phone a little hesitated. the Ugly police woman pretty much stared into my soul and ripped it out of my body. I dialed really fast

There was that waiting tone, once.......twice......three times........four-times..........
maybe this was a bad idea i haven't talked to her in like 4 years. What if she is just sitting there ignoring my call because she hated me and denied my birth and shit.
....Five-times......

"Hello"

I pretty much crapped myself. Her voice was exactly how i remembered it sounding. All the memories of her playing with me when i was little. Making me egg salad sandwiches for lunch. Playing matchbox dragons with just the dragon parts. Her warm smile that was such a treat because i could count on my hand how many times she did it.

"....Mom?" i didn't even know i said it. It didn't even sound like me. Like somone else was talking for me.

"....Who is this?" She sounded mad. Why are you mad mom. What did i do? It was you who walked out on me. Remember?

"Sidney Aurthur Clement," I said swallowing hard, what if she hung up on me. What if she was rolling her eyes.

There was a long pause on the other line and, for a second or so i thought maybe she already hung up on me. But then i heard some background whispering. Who was she talking too? Another family. One that was better then mine? With kids that were smarter, nicer, and prettier then me?
The ugly police lady looked at her clock. Which meant time was running out.

Just then i heard her voice again.
"Do I know you?" she sounded confused like she had trouble remembering me, like that disease that messed up your memory. The one that grandpa had...what is that now? Alzheimer's?

"Yeah, I'm your son." More silence. "You named me after that Buddha guy Siddhartha because i was a real peaceful baby, or at least thats what dad said you named me Sidney Aurthur for." Still nothing. "My dad is Richard Clement, We used to live on Apple gate in Bellesaw we still live there actually. house 124"

More whispering...do i have the wrong number? but i know it. I can see the little paper in my head right now.

"You remember don't you Ma?"

"Come on Kid! I don't have time for this. You can have your reunion after bail or during visiting hours." She started to pull at my arm.

Come on mom, come on.

The line was dead i could here the click of somone hanging up. The beeping of me still on the dead line. It felt like my heart was ripped out. I can't explain it any other way.

The police lady shuffled me back to the bail cell. I sat there and just thought to myself. About what i did to make my Mom hate me so much. Hate her life with me and dad so much and for the first time in 4 years I actually wondered if ....she ever loved me.