Saint Vanity

After agreeing that i would buy Todd a new car for all the expenses i was running up. It was that or becoming his slave for about 6 months. And in the life of Todd, I guarantee that being his slave would be worse then actual slavery back in the 1800, or whenever that happened.

We drove back in silence as Todd kept the whole brooding on,how much his life sucks.
Which i suppose if i had a lake house on Martha's Vineyard I would think that life sucks too, Not.

We got back to the hotel and i spotted Pride and Joy right away,(God, common Mr. Adelade, Pride and Joy? I would kill you if you named me that.) They were sipping some fruity drink by the pool that gave off a sort of green, radioactive like glow. It was the first time i realized that there was a pool in this dump. But the radioactive green pool was rather expected after the cockroaches and the fucking-couple.

Anyways it was the middle of October and everybody was pretending like it was summer time. It certainly wasn't warm enough to be summer but i guess that radioactive stuff makes everybody warm because there were tons of people there.

I Forgot to bring a bathing suit so i just walked into the men's room, (I've missed you men's room!) And tore off my shirt and pants like supermen. Well maybe, more like wolverine or somone cooler then superman, he's sort of dated. I was wearing 'non-sponge bob' boxers this time so i didn't look like a complete idiot. Even though all my eyeliner and shit was still runny from the emotional break-down i had earlier and as of right now i will never speak of it again.

I spied Kennedy, save and sound in the tinny Hot tub that surprisingly didn't look toxic. I slumped over there and sat next to her letting my obnoxious feet dangle in the bubbly water.

"So Sid, I see you made bail." Kennedy smiled. The persnickery sort. It was funny to see her not even ready to hit me for getting into jail or for leaving her, or forgetting the pregnancy test at the druggie car. Nope, This was a rare calm form of Kennedy i had yet to see.

I shrugged. "Todd could bail O.J. The kid is loaded."

"That's the only reason he is in an10 foot radiance of my presents." Kennedy put on a pair of purple aviators that matched her lips perfectly. Then she glared at the sun. Which i had always heard can blind you. But Kennedy did it so much maybe it had a reverse affect.

I chuckled. Todd really is a Killjoy. God, I'm shallow.

"I still have to buy him a new car because i lost his car too." i can't wait for that, I'm going to be a millionaire from selling spiked lemonade at the side of my neighborhood. But have to give it all up so the pussy-boy...oh excuse me TODD can have a car he can already afford.
"That reminds me, how the hell did you get back here?"

Kennedy pulled down her shades so that her grey eyes peaked through. "Well I drove of course. You left the keys in the ignition dumb-ass."

"Then why did Todd pick me up in a rental?"

Kennedy rolled her eyes and recrossed her legs. "I never said it came back in one piece."

Oh man! i could have slapped her! That bitch is making me have to sell spiked lemonade for the rest of my days! Now i know why there are wife-beaters out there! Because of girls like Kennedy who blow up cars on a 2 mile drive back!

Kennedy kicked up so granny panties that were floating around in the water. Along with other pieces of laundry. Did i mention that this Pool area was probably the most disgusting place of my live? Well it is, beats out the Gay bar by like ten points! What i don't understand was, how come the health inspector guy hadn't shut it down. Because come on?! This is nasty and I practically live in a trailer park!

Kennedy finally looked away from the sun. Which instantly got brighter after she turned away. Wow Ken can blind the sun....I am so jealous. I tried looking at it for a little while and my eyes pretty much went blind for like a whole 3 seconds. Bitch!

"So hows the Nazi growth?" I asked.

" I asked for a test from this girl who looked like a prostitute." I immediately thought of the fucking couple and the girl watching me walk to the elevador.
'She was pretty nice except for the fact that she had this creepy man watching me from the couch. But anyways the girl looked like she had been in my situation weekly so she lent me one and i used it in the bathroom."

"...Do you have a embryo in your gut or not!?"

Kennedy shrugged. "Um the test said it was negative, but I'm still really late."

I rolled my eyes. But i was also secretly thanking god that i didn't get that menstruation shit. Because i don't understand the whole bleeding down there bit, when an average chick hates blood and gore and thinks its disgusting. I don't get it. I just don't get it.

Just then i saw Joy skipped up with Pride rumbling trying to catch up.

"Hey, were gonna have lunch on Board walk want to come along?" Pride smiled really wide, which immediately made my face wanna cringe up and die. Because not only was his smile cruel to my crooked one, he was talking to Kennedy's tits, If i ever did that I'd be toast.

"Can you even afford board walk?" Kennedy was still toying with him but at least the guy was gonna buy her somthing expensive. Because on the monopoly game Boardwalk is pretty pricey i could never make it to GO without hitting that fucker.

"I can afford a lot of things" He got up real close to Ken and smiled her down with his teeth.

And out of now where, Sid came down to save the day: "Hey, Pride do like prostitution?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Why do you ask?"

"Cuz, I saw you with one."

Everyone gasped and looked at Pride. Joy was ready to cry.

Pride just did another perfect smile. "And how would you know, eh ugly?"

"I saw you in the hallway while i went to visit Kennedy."

He Smiled even wider as if to say 'HA CAUGHT YA.'
"What on earth were you visiting her for at 1:30?"

Then everyone gaze shifted...to yours truley. shit.