Saint Vanity

So, Pride(I puked right there just saying his name.) Got us all the continental breakfast deal for dinner. Which was completely disgusting by the way. I had some sort of omelet Sunday of farm animal surprise and i was about ready to throw up after I tried some of the juice, you know,the kind they pack in cans.

All in all, I was the only one having a rotten time. Even Todd was having a good time after Pride brought up politics. I had had enough of this terrible evening. I can almost scenes the entire room wanting me out anyways, so why not do them all a favor. I pushed the chair out from the table and dropped the dirty napkin on my plate.

Kennedy looked up at me but only gave me a glare and continued touching Prides hair. Oh Ken, how can you be so mean? You really make me want to cunt-punt you. I think I will write a letter to Kennedy. The kid deserves one, the way she's been treating me lately. It will be those ones, were I write and then set on fire! Yeah!

It will go:
Dear Kennedy,

You have been a real slut to me. Honestly, you can do better then that piece of chicken shit, Pride. For one thing I have to say, your title as 'best friend' has gone to Todd at the moment. Which is terrible because i HATE Todd. And another thing that may be off the subject, but why are we even bringing him on this thingy- thing?
What ever don't answer that! I just wanted to write this letter so i can burn it like all those books and movies say so my anger and displeasure can burn away with the flames Blah blah blah, and all that other bullshit.
Oh and I'm sorry for making out with you when you were asleep.
It was very rude of me not to ask your permission or control my ghastly hormones

Your former Best-friend
Sid Arthur Clement

Yup perfect letter. Sept i might want to leave out the apology at the end that just sounds alittle prissy. Like instead of ghastly hormones i should say; my virgin penis. or somthing clever like that.
I walked out side. The side walk that i had planed my movie on, and I walked down the street like plenty other average folks. People who didn't need to be tied down by best-friends, losers or debt. That was the new me today. AVERAGE. I was gonna try it.

I saw a dumpster about the size of a house and climbed in. It took a couple of jumps but i was eventually in the damn thing. I, myself had never gone dumpster diving, Probably because i had a house like the one i did. But still it always sounded cool to me.

i dug around looking for shirts and pants, If i was going to be average I was gonna have to leave the goth apparel for a bit. I reached in and felt somthing cloth-y. I picked up a plaid lumber-jack top with a couple of coffee stains on it. It smelt better then the trash can itself so i suppose it would do. I looked for some regular Levi's in my size but it seems like the dumpster diver had to be less then picky. Nothing even resembling pants was in this dumpster.

"I might have to buy some, I guess that would look pretty average." i said out loud. Im not sure why it just seemed appropriate. I deiced operation 'BIWPIS' or: Blending in with people in society, was going to require a budget. I looked into my bag or comic books and socks to see if i had brought money that hadn't been taken by anyone.

1...5...another 1 and a 10...that was $17. Thank you math class. And even a little thanks to Ms. Sebastian. Only a little though, because you were a bitch, Ms. Sebastian. I climbed out of the dumpster and accidentally knocked a head of a human being.

"Oh shit. Im sorry!" I jumped off the side and rushed to dude to make sure i said enough of an apology to get away alive. It might have been a huge thug. You never know.

I rushed up and found myself looking at somone strangely familiar.

"Hey, do I know you?" she asked.

She,the person i had rudely crushed, looked up. She was stick thin and looked very fragile, with pale eyes that were to big for her sunk in face.. It was the Heroin addict chick from the gay bar! My jaw dropped.

"We met at the Jack of Hearts bar, I'm Sid, I was the drunk."

She giggle."Oh I remember you, the straight guy in the girls bathroom."

I twitched a bit. "Ah yup thats me. And your Marty right?"

She nodded and stuck out her hand again like she was going to shake it a second time.
"Going to help me up or am I going to sit on my ass all day?"

"Well, Im not sure you were sitting on your ass before i even fell out of the dumpster."

She narrowed her eyebrows and then smiled. "Your a funny one Sid."

I grasped her hand and pulled all of her 85 pounds up. She brushed herself off from any garbage that i might have got on her little brown frock. Funny considering she was just next to a garbage.

"I like your dress. Its a little fancy for dumpster diving don't yeah think?" I shoved my hands in my pockets which currently felt wet. I really don't want to know why. This Looking average deal is too much work. Im going back to goth immediately after today.

"Well thanks." Marty spun around as if to model it for me. "It's Marc Jacobs summer line. And F.Y.I I was not dumpster diving, I was just laying out her until my boyfriend left."

Well that was creepy. Waiting under a dumpster until your boyfriend left. Honestly, what the fuck?

"He gets angry when I don't buy his smack. He sometimes Beats me, and makes me sleep out here by this." She pointed twords the dumpster."

My mouth dropped again. I really gotta stop doing that.

Marty Laughed and patted my back with her little stick hand. "I'm only kidding Sid! Jeez, lighten up."

"What kind of joke is that?"

Marty looked up at me with her creepy large eyes, they looked like glass balls filled with ocean water. "I'm sorry I guess thats just not somthing i can joke about is it? Considering I am a recovering addict and all."

The sun was blazing and I was sweating bullets in my new, or should i say, used, trash clothes. I was very uncomfortable with this Marty chick. She just seemed alittle...Mmm unstable and down right pyscho.

"So, if your boyfriend didn't make you sleep here why the hell are you here?" I tried loosening my collar with a couple of buttons twords my neck.

"Oh no, my boyfriend made me sleep there. That parts true. But he was high and thought it was some candy store or somthing. I tried telling him it was a garbage dump, But he thought if we laid there we would get candy."

"Why did you do it? You knew it was a trash dump." We started walking out of the alley way now and headed on to a street whose name i forgot.

"Would i be such a bitch to say i do crazy things when I'm in love." She closed her eyes and smiled up at me.

"But he left you there? Not to be rude but isn't that some kind of flashing red warning light." I kicked the passe I need to find air conditioning. What the hell. i looked around nobody on the street looked bothered by the strange heat.

Marty shrugged. "I said when I/ was in love, not my boyfriend. He's not in love with me."

I need to get out of here. #1 the world was so scorching hot, i was beginning fry! And second of all, Marty was one of those obsessive people. Who are always cool when you first meet them but then become some type of crazy parasite that never leaves you alone!

I started running in the opposite direction we were walking in. It was really tough to keep my legs moving under the heat it was like my whole body wanted to collapse under me.