Saint Vanity

Looking back at that memory I felt horrible about the way young kids treat adults. There really no respect. But hey what I'm I gonna do about it? I'm in too deep already. Why turn around? The next thing I know, I'll be an adult too with a big red face and shit-eating kids that look and act just like me. Oh hell no.

I decided that maybe this street begging thing isn't my cup of coffee. I had always been low to middle class but never this low and I really didn't want to start down this poor. I began to think that maybe Kennedy and Todd had stopped being assholes by now. Maybe not Todd, but a guy can dream can't he?

I stood up and tossed out the paper cup that had almost rolled down the street. Then I began to realize how stupid this idea really was. I know it my have crossed my mind but never like this. i started thinking about all the times my friends had saved my ass from certain destruction. Like the other day with Silvia, Kennedy saved me from a sawdust diet. Which I guess makes me look like the bad guy because I owe her a lot more then I let on.

I looked at the sky which was starting to get darker by the second. It's Good thing there was a huge clock up on one of the buildings. 5:00, funny how it only felt like a couple minuets since i was running away from that girl i had met earlier. Geeze somtimes i think my judge of character must need tweaking.

My stomache began to make all sorts of noises, reminding me that i hadn't had my daily allotment of food. Probably because i forgot my damn money. i always forget to ask for a wallet for Christmas. Even if my Grandma doesn't know what one is she could at least have fun garage surfing to find what she thought a wallet might be.

"Shut-up stupid stomach! Can't you see I'm busy thinking!" Honestly, If you haven't tried talking aloud to your stomach.Try it. Sometimes mine listens. Now was not one of those times, but still its worth a shot right?

I walked up the street to find more and more quaint little shoppes and parlors. A nice town to be sure. Very rustic looking, a place i hadn't seen before. No one seemed to be in it though, or around at all. I had seen a few people a while ago but since the day dreaming it seemed like a silent tornado warning had gone off. The town was vacant.

I might as well walk back to the subway station and see if i can find my way back. As I walked back to the deserted station i came across another pay phone. I lifted the change pocket just in case someone had left some change in there. My fingers puddled around and found 50cents. Just enough for a phone call.

Ring.....ring.....ring...
common Todd come on!
Ring....ring.....
Todd: Hello?
Me: Todd! Jesus Christ am i happy to hear your voice. Thought you weren't gonna answer this sucker! I only got 50 cents!
Todd: Sidney?
Me: Speaking.
Todd: Sid, What the fuck!
Me: Hum?
Todd: You just decided you should leave and let us find you? Where the fuck are you? What the hell do you think this is? Vacation!?
Me: Uhhh....yes actually.
Todd: well you goddamn wrong you fagot! Ken and I have been searching all over New York for you! WHERE ARE YOU!?
Me: uhhh I don't really know but I'm coming back so don't you worry your little head none.
Todd: WHAT?! You cant expect us to just wait four hours for you to try and find your way back you dip-shit! Just tell me where you are look for a street name or something'.

I looked around a little. Nothing was too flashy about where I was. One sign Informed me that a concert was in Dogwood tonight, but i could almost put a gun to that.

Me: Well one sign says Dogwood but I can grantee you its not the right town. I'm in the boondocks man.
Todd: (whisper whisper) A guy out here says a town called Dogwood is on
the far end of the city. I'm gonna come and get you and bring your ass back so i can kick it. I'm not your Goddamn nanny you hear!
Me: Todd, I just told you I would ride the subway to the hotel. You don't have to come and get me.
Todd: We both know that's gonna happen. Your probably at a strip club and you just want to have all the fun with out me. You just sit down where ever you are right now and if you move i will tell your dad about your jail incident.
Me: Aw Todd, your a real buzz kill you know that?
Todd: Shut-up. AND DON'T MOVE!
Todd swiftly hung up the phone. I checked the huge clock again. Not even 3 minuets had gone by since the last check. Now that i was aware of it, time was going to move like a snail.
I took Todd's advice and sat down right there next to the pay phone. It was going to be a very long wait. I wanted someone to show up, anyone. Just to let me know that life existed in this town and i could find something to entertain me until Todd showed his ugly face.

"Oh Crap!" I slapped my palm to my forehead. i had forgotten to ask how long it would take. I rushed back up on my feet and checked the coin pocket again to see if i had remaining change from the call to Todd. No can do, The pocket was completely empty not even a dust bunny occupied the silver bowl inside.

Well i might as well see the flora and fauna eh? I'm positive that Todd even if he did find me wouldn't be any bitchier then he already was so why not test the theory? I sauntered over to the liquor store which surprisingly unlocked.

It was an ugly looking shack to be sure. Probably about the size of my living room at home in Bellsaw. Flooring was probably the same too, cheep gray and white linoleum, checkered in tacky patterns.
"Hello? Anybody in here?" The store looked just a vacant as the town, except for a few strange taxidermy animals staring me down. I walked down each aisle with small steps making sure to look at each bottle and reading the entire packaging. I spotted a particular bottle called 'box-butter'. Which sounded disgusting in any sort of alcoholic beverage, But basically described the liquid inside like baby formula.
After wards I made myself hobble over towards the front window so I could look through the dirty birthday cards. I Only laughed at one or two, most of them were much to repetitive and stupid.

To get rid of some curiosity I walked behind the register and fiddled through some of the ideas in the cabinet beneath. Nothing of great value, a few outdated playboys my dad would enjoy. A yo yo, a phone book and some ground up tobacco in a large metal tin. I picked up the phone book mostly it was the thing of most interest to me. I had seen a yo yo before and tobacco wasn't a favorite of mine. And basically if you've seen 1 porn-mag, you've seen 'em all.
The phone book was from 1993, so not completely outdated. I flipped through the pages looking for names that sounded familiar.
I found my name but with a different number. It's good to know I'm not the only Sidney Arthur Clement around New England. maybe I should call him. we could get to know one another. Maybe he would like to know that I exist. Maybe he wouldn't. He could be some crazy Christian Coalition member that wanted to blow up this very liquor store. Hence the emptiness in the town. I eventually latched on to this idea and abandoned the calling of Sidney, with the fear of what i might find my name to be shared with.

I kept looking through the book until i found my mom's name in a chunk of other Mary's. Mary Clammet, Mary Clamber, Mary Clasdale, Mary Clement.
Maybe that last Mary Clement was my mom. would i look at the number. I knew it by heart, it was on the table when she left. I remember it better then almost anything. But A flashback of the other day smashed into my brain. She had asked me if she knew me. She had forgotten about me.

I looked. Same number. It couldn't be. I looked at it again, putting my nose right up to the flimsy paper. Yes, yes definitely Mary Clement, my Mary Clement my mother and that was here phone number. I guess i had typed in the number without any thought because I had found myself holding the receiver and a buzz continuously ringing in my ear.

Ring....Ring....
Hang up Sid. Hang up right now, she doesn't want to hear you. She would have stayed with me and Dad if she wanted that.
Ring...
HANG UP!
Ring....
Your an idiot. If she answers and tells you to STOP CALLING HER! BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T"T LOVE YOU! You have no one to blame but your own dumb decision making gland.
"Hello?
There you go she answered I guess you officially want to be shot down by your own mother.
"Uh Hey."
"Who, may I ask is speaking?"
This, was not my mothers voice this was no one i knows voice.
"Uh...who may I ask is answering,"
"If your looking for Mary she's out shopping I'm her son,"
"Her son?"
My heart died worse then any other tragedy that it had ever experienced. I wish she just answered the phone and told me to fuck off, would have been nicer.

"So, who is this?"
I took a deep breath.
"Her other son."