The *** of Gerard Way
Emptiness
Gerard stumbled down a hill, his heart pounding fast. He gasped for air and felt the oxygen fill his lungs.
He could still breathe.
He fell to his knees and screamed, "What the fuck is going on?!"
He reached to the ground and pulled at the grass, feeling every blade slide against his fingertips. He pulled at his hair and slapped himself in the face.
"I can still feel, damn it! I'm not dead!" Gerard buried his head in his hands. A picture of his dead body flashed before his eyes.
He stood up and took off running.
The wind bit into his face as he sprinted across a park. He ran onto a street and stopped. He gasped for breath, then continued running. He could still feel every heartbeat, he could still smell the stinky smell of the dumpsters, he still felt alive. He ran past buildings, playgrounds, and parking lots until he finally got to a meadow.
He slowed down. His breathing was heavy. He stared up at the sky.
"Why?" He whispered.
The early sun rose up into the light pink sky as Gerard walked across the empty meadow. He stared at the ground the whole way.
He stopped at a little brook at the edge of the meadow. He crouched down and stared into the water.
"If I'm dead, why aren't I in hell?" He groaned. He splashed his hand through the water.
He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of Mikey. There was no way in hell that kid could take care of himself. He wondered what he was doing now.
Gerard opened his eyes.
He fell back immediately.
The meadow was gone.
The intensity of white, hot light burned his eyes. An empty abyss of whiteness surrounded him, going for miles.
"Holy..." Gerard's eyes widened. It was quiet and empty. It creeped him out.
He heard something snap. He turned his head.
A little boy was crouched by a little brook.
How there was a little brook in this place, he didn't know.
Gerard's eyebrows scrunched up. It was strange.
He stood up and took a hesitant step toward the little boy. The boy did nothing.
"Um.." He said. The little boy didn't seem to hear. "Don't tell me you can't see me either." He groaned. He walked over to the little boy.
"Hey, kid." Gerard said.
The boy looked up. He had dark, curly hair and bright green eyes. He was wearing all white.
He went back to the brook. He picked up a smooth stone and tossed it into the water.
"You can see me!" Gerard shouted in excitement. Echoes bounced back at him.
The boy looked up again and nodded.
"D-do you know where I am?" Gerard said slowly.
The boy nodded again.
Gerard waited for an answer.
"Where?" He asked when he didn't get one.
The little boy stared at him.
"Heaven."
His voice took Gerard's breath away. It was soft, pure, innocent. Everything a child should be.
The little boy picked up another stone and tossed it in.
Gerard's eyes suddenly widened. He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming.
"No, no, no, I can't go to heaven... I'm too.." Gerard paused. "I'm too..."
He didn't finish his sentence.
The boy shrugged his tiny shoulders.
"But.. but what if I don't want to go to heaven? What if I want to live?" Gerard's voice was high-pitched.
The little boy looked up at him again.
"You have to find out."
Gerard frowned.
"Find out what?" He asked as the little boy dipped his finger in the water.
"Who killed you." He said without looking up.
"Wait.. I was killed?" Gerard asked. He hadn't even thought about how he died.
The boy nodded.
"How do you kno- wait..." Gerard's eyes widened again. "Don't tell me.. no, you can't be... no, you're not-"
"God." The little boy whispered. He stared up at him through his bright green
eyes, the only bright color in the white emptiness.
Gerard all of a sudden felt a tingling sensation running through his arms. He felt like he was falling a hundred miles per hour. He squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed by this unwelcome feeling. He opened them again when it was gone.
He was back in the meadow.
He could still breathe.
He fell to his knees and screamed, "What the fuck is going on?!"
He reached to the ground and pulled at the grass, feeling every blade slide against his fingertips. He pulled at his hair and slapped himself in the face.
"I can still feel, damn it! I'm not dead!" Gerard buried his head in his hands. A picture of his dead body flashed before his eyes.
He stood up and took off running.
The wind bit into his face as he sprinted across a park. He ran onto a street and stopped. He gasped for breath, then continued running. He could still feel every heartbeat, he could still smell the stinky smell of the dumpsters, he still felt alive. He ran past buildings, playgrounds, and parking lots until he finally got to a meadow.
He slowed down. His breathing was heavy. He stared up at the sky.
"Why?" He whispered.
The early sun rose up into the light pink sky as Gerard walked across the empty meadow. He stared at the ground the whole way.
He stopped at a little brook at the edge of the meadow. He crouched down and stared into the water.
"If I'm dead, why aren't I in hell?" He groaned. He splashed his hand through the water.
He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of Mikey. There was no way in hell that kid could take care of himself. He wondered what he was doing now.
Gerard opened his eyes.
He fell back immediately.
The meadow was gone.
The intensity of white, hot light burned his eyes. An empty abyss of whiteness surrounded him, going for miles.
"Holy..." Gerard's eyes widened. It was quiet and empty. It creeped him out.
He heard something snap. He turned his head.
A little boy was crouched by a little brook.
How there was a little brook in this place, he didn't know.
Gerard's eyebrows scrunched up. It was strange.
He stood up and took a hesitant step toward the little boy. The boy did nothing.
"Um.." He said. The little boy didn't seem to hear. "Don't tell me you can't see me either." He groaned. He walked over to the little boy.
"Hey, kid." Gerard said.
The boy looked up. He had dark, curly hair and bright green eyes. He was wearing all white.
He went back to the brook. He picked up a smooth stone and tossed it into the water.
"You can see me!" Gerard shouted in excitement. Echoes bounced back at him.
The boy looked up again and nodded.
"D-do you know where I am?" Gerard said slowly.
The boy nodded again.
Gerard waited for an answer.
"Where?" He asked when he didn't get one.
The little boy stared at him.
"Heaven."
His voice took Gerard's breath away. It was soft, pure, innocent. Everything a child should be.
The little boy picked up another stone and tossed it in.
Gerard's eyes suddenly widened. He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming.
"No, no, no, I can't go to heaven... I'm too.." Gerard paused. "I'm too..."
He didn't finish his sentence.
The boy shrugged his tiny shoulders.
"But.. but what if I don't want to go to heaven? What if I want to live?" Gerard's voice was high-pitched.
The little boy looked up at him again.
"You have to find out."
Gerard frowned.
"Find out what?" He asked as the little boy dipped his finger in the water.
"Who killed you." He said without looking up.
"Wait.. I was killed?" Gerard asked. He hadn't even thought about how he died.
The boy nodded.
"How do you kno- wait..." Gerard's eyes widened again. "Don't tell me.. no, you can't be... no, you're not-"
"God." The little boy whispered. He stared up at him through his bright green
eyes, the only bright color in the white emptiness.
Gerard all of a sudden felt a tingling sensation running through his arms. He felt like he was falling a hundred miles per hour. He squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed by this unwelcome feeling. He opened them again when it was gone.
He was back in the meadow.