The *** of Gerard Way
Ray
Ray walked into the living room to find Mikey sleeping on the couch. It looked like he had been there for a while. Ray shook his head sympathetically.
Poor kid.
Mikey had been through a lot in the past few hours. His whole world had been changed in a matter of seconds when he found Gerard.
Ray's eyes were now dry. It had taken him a while to muster up the courage to go to the bathroom. Now, he stood in the living room watching Mikey sleep.
He still couldn't grasp the thought of Gerard's death in his mind. It seemed impossible for him to be gone. If anyone, Ray always thought that he'd be the one to die sooner. He never expected to die of old age or natural causes. He thought he'd get hit by a car or something. He wished he were the one to go instead of Gerard. He knew how much Mikey needed him.
Ray thought back to the last time he saw Gerard.
__
"Hey, Ray!" Gerard greeted as he entered Ray's home.
"Hey, Gee." Ray said without looking up from his guitar.
Gerard sat down in front of Ray. He twisted his hands and stared at him.
"So, how you been?" Gerard asked.
"I've been real good, Gee," Ray said busily. "And you?"
"Uhh...I've been good, too." He looked at the portrait of his family. He had probably seen it a million times, but he looked especially interested in it today.
Ray looked at Gerard's tapping foot, then up at Gerard..
"Gerard, what's wrong?" Ray set his guitar down and looked at Gerard.
"Nothing." Gerard looked at the ground.
Ray studied Gerard's face. His eyes couldn't meet with Ray's.
"Gee, is there a reason why you're over here?"
"What, can't I hang out with my buddy?"
"Yeah, of course," Ray said quickly. "It's just that you look like someone's about to kill you."
Gerard flinched when he said that. Gerard's face was blank, but his eyes showed something. Ray didn't know what, but they showed something.
"Ray, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Gerard's voice was soft. Almost a whisper.
"....No..." Ray said, unsure where he was going with this.
"Well.. I do.. and I appreciate you being my friend." Gerard said softly. "You've been with me through thick and thin. And I wanna say thanks."
"Y-you're welcome." Ray said, confused. Why was he telling him this?
Gerard smiled weakly and stood up. Ray stood up too.
"I guess I should go now... I just wanted to come by and say hi."
"Yeah, you're welcome here anytime." Ray said. "Just know that I'm always here for you. You can tell me anything." Ray raised his eyebrows, hoping he got the hint.
"Thanks, man." Gerard patted Ray on the shoulder and headed toward the door. He looked back as he opened it. "Thanks."
And he was gone.
__
Ray slapped himself on the forehead hard.
"Stupid!" He almost yelled.
He should have seen this coming. He should have known something was wrong. But no, he was too busy with his own life to care about Gerard's.
Ray kicked at a coffee table in anger. He was angry with himself, for being so blind. How did he not realize something was terribly wrong? How could he let Gerard just walk away?
But he knew a bigger question.
Why hadn't Gerard told him?
Because he didn't want to worry me.
He knew then what he had seen in his friend's eyes.
Truth.
Poor kid.
Mikey had been through a lot in the past few hours. His whole world had been changed in a matter of seconds when he found Gerard.
Ray's eyes were now dry. It had taken him a while to muster up the courage to go to the bathroom. Now, he stood in the living room watching Mikey sleep.
He still couldn't grasp the thought of Gerard's death in his mind. It seemed impossible for him to be gone. If anyone, Ray always thought that he'd be the one to die sooner. He never expected to die of old age or natural causes. He thought he'd get hit by a car or something. He wished he were the one to go instead of Gerard. He knew how much Mikey needed him.
Ray thought back to the last time he saw Gerard.
__
"Hey, Ray!" Gerard greeted as he entered Ray's home.
"Hey, Gee." Ray said without looking up from his guitar.
Gerard sat down in front of Ray. He twisted his hands and stared at him.
"So, how you been?" Gerard asked.
"I've been real good, Gee," Ray said busily. "And you?"
"Uhh...I've been good, too." He looked at the portrait of his family. He had probably seen it a million times, but he looked especially interested in it today.
Ray looked at Gerard's tapping foot, then up at Gerard..
"Gerard, what's wrong?" Ray set his guitar down and looked at Gerard.
"Nothing." Gerard looked at the ground.
Ray studied Gerard's face. His eyes couldn't meet with Ray's.
"Gee, is there a reason why you're over here?"
"What, can't I hang out with my buddy?"
"Yeah, of course," Ray said quickly. "It's just that you look like someone's about to kill you."
Gerard flinched when he said that. Gerard's face was blank, but his eyes showed something. Ray didn't know what, but they showed something.
"Ray, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Gerard's voice was soft. Almost a whisper.
"....No..." Ray said, unsure where he was going with this.
"Well.. I do.. and I appreciate you being my friend." Gerard said softly. "You've been with me through thick and thin. And I wanna say thanks."
"Y-you're welcome." Ray said, confused. Why was he telling him this?
Gerard smiled weakly and stood up. Ray stood up too.
"I guess I should go now... I just wanted to come by and say hi."
"Yeah, you're welcome here anytime." Ray said. "Just know that I'm always here for you. You can tell me anything." Ray raised his eyebrows, hoping he got the hint.
"Thanks, man." Gerard patted Ray on the shoulder and headed toward the door. He looked back as he opened it. "Thanks."
And he was gone.
__
Ray slapped himself on the forehead hard.
"Stupid!" He almost yelled.
He should have seen this coming. He should have known something was wrong. But no, he was too busy with his own life to care about Gerard's.
Ray kicked at a coffee table in anger. He was angry with himself, for being so blind. How did he not realize something was terribly wrong? How could he let Gerard just walk away?
But he knew a bigger question.
Why hadn't Gerard told him?
Because he didn't want to worry me.
He knew then what he had seen in his friend's eyes.
Truth.