Thank You, Gravity
Maybe, Maybe Not
"Now what?" After along silence, Joe finally breaks it. Now what? I still don't know what I really want now. I don't want him to think I am completely ready for a new relationship. Our first one slowly ended. It faded on, like it really wasn't meant to happen. Now why would we be coming closer, just because of mom? That wouldn't be a good reason to be with someone. We were both just using each other to fill the gap that was left when Mom left.
"I don't know. What do you think?" It's obvious both of us wants this, but also that both of us don't want to push the other too far again to take us back where we just came from. If he really does stop drinking, and he really does make it feel like he wants me around because I'm his brother then fine, but if not I really think I should leave.
"I think, maybe we can try this... you know I'll stop everything I've been doing, only if you don't lead me on anymore." Since when did I lead him on? I barely spoke to him since I moved in. I agree, even though I don't think that I lead him on.
Slowly Joe moves closer, his lips crash into mine, not even waiting, his tongue is in my mouth. Not one thought goes through my mind as our tongues are dancing around, I don't notice how close we are getting and how my shirt is slowly being slid off.
Breaking away, he 's almost taken my shirt off completely, but I stop him. We can't do anything more, that would be moving way too fast for me. We just agree to try this again. As he comes closer to continue I push him away,
"Now what?" Annoyed, the only tone in his voice. If just kissing him leads to this... maybe, maybe we shouldn't do this yet. It's only been five days.
"This is going too fast. Maybe... no... we need to wait. I promise that I will be ready one day, but that day isn't today. I'm sorry, Joe." I stand up and start towards the door. I need air. I need to think, I need to get away.
Walking where my feet are taking me, I pass all the places I used to love to go, I pass them all and head to the place I never want to go to, the cemetery where mom is. Funny thing is, this is the same place Joe went to when he needed to think, well that's what Kevin told me.
I walk up to mom's grave, I can't even shed anymore tears about her being gone. I want to keep that the last of my problems. Sure I will always miss her, but now I need to move on and take care of my new problems with Joe.
"I don't know. What do you think?" It's obvious both of us wants this, but also that both of us don't want to push the other too far again to take us back where we just came from. If he really does stop drinking, and he really does make it feel like he wants me around because I'm his brother then fine, but if not I really think I should leave.
"I think, maybe we can try this... you know I'll stop everything I've been doing, only if you don't lead me on anymore." Since when did I lead him on? I barely spoke to him since I moved in. I agree, even though I don't think that I lead him on.
Slowly Joe moves closer, his lips crash into mine, not even waiting, his tongue is in my mouth. Not one thought goes through my mind as our tongues are dancing around, I don't notice how close we are getting and how my shirt is slowly being slid off.
Breaking away, he 's almost taken my shirt off completely, but I stop him. We can't do anything more, that would be moving way too fast for me. We just agree to try this again. As he comes closer to continue I push him away,
"Now what?" Annoyed, the only tone in his voice. If just kissing him leads to this... maybe, maybe we shouldn't do this yet. It's only been five days.
"This is going too fast. Maybe... no... we need to wait. I promise that I will be ready one day, but that day isn't today. I'm sorry, Joe." I stand up and start towards the door. I need air. I need to think, I need to get away.
Walking where my feet are taking me, I pass all the places I used to love to go, I pass them all and head to the place I never want to go to, the cemetery where mom is. Funny thing is, this is the same place Joe went to when he needed to think, well that's what Kevin told me.
I walk up to mom's grave, I can't even shed anymore tears about her being gone. I want to keep that the last of my problems. Sure I will always miss her, but now I need to move on and take care of my new problems with Joe.