Once Upon A Time, Back In Highschool

Thursday, January 24th, 5th period. Gerard was in, acting as normal as ever. It made me cringe every time he’d talk to some one. I kept looking at him, imaging him shorter, podgier with a funny hair cut. I didn’t understand how some one could do that to another person and fell okay with themselves after. I didn’t understand how Gerard didn’t tell anyone about ‘Mark’ and let it rip up at him and ruin his own life.

Guilt kept gnawing at me when Gerard asked why I didn’t meet up with him Monday after school. He kept asking with such a genuine upset look, even though I tried to keep telling him my mum wanted me to stay with her because I hadn’t seen her for ages.

When I went to sit with him at lunch he suddenly burst into tears. I didn’t know what to do, I stood there dithering beside the door whilst he stood over by his desk, his fingers clenching his eyes together. It was torture. I was like watching some one drown but you can’t help.

“Gerard?” I asked hoarsely. He waved his hand at me disdainfully, his bottom lip suddenly quivering before he turned around and sobbed. I opened my mouth to say something, my brow tightening and throat feeling like it was beginning to close up. I covered my mouth with my hand and bit my top lip into my mouth trying desperately to be the strong one for once, “Why’re you crying?” I managed to choke out, he wiped his eyes and turned back around.

“I’m not,” he lied, “Men don’t cry, unless they’re fags, right?” he said, his lip quivering again, “Which I’m not,” he murmured, sniffing.

I closed my eyes and hiccupped, my ribs enclosing on my heart and puncturing my organs. I was in defeat, I wasn’t the strong one and Gerard new it. He shoved his arms around me harshly he squeezed hard, no romantic attachment about it, pure comfort.

“We’re gonna get through this, I promise. It’s one of those situations where time is gonna use it’s goddamn power,” he whispered, “You just have to remember how much I love you. And how much you love me and how much we need each other,” he murmured, like it was a sacred vow, “We have to trust each other though, no secrets, no lies –nothing.”

I calmed myself down and smiled at him before nodding. I was sucha hypocrite.

“I thought maybe I’d take you out somewhere. Maybe the movies? I’ll send a taxi to pick you up and take you back to your house. Just some me and you time with no costumes, or sex, or anything like that. Like we used to before we really got to know each other. You can tell me that story about when you were younger and you told your mom you wanted to live in the play boy mansion because there were rabbits,” he said, letting out a watery chuckle.

“I didn’t realise the rabbits were sluts,” I laughed, “Anyhow, your no better -you tried to flush your little brother down the toilet because you were jealous of him,” I said, looking up and him and grinning.

“He was three, I was only six. The little bugger wouldn’t fit down the hole anyway,” Gerard said, shaking his head fondly, “I totally remember that. Mom was angry because he started drinking toilet water,” Gerard laughed, “See it’ll be fun going out for a change, be ready by five o’clock. I’ll have you back by ten,” he smiled.

He walked me home as well, keeping me entertained the whole way home with any goofy jokes he could think of.

“Knock-Knock?”

“Who’s there?” I asked.

“Doris.”

“Doris who?”

“Doris locked, that’s why I had to knock,” he grinned. I shook my head and chuckled.

“Gerard that was terrible, Just to tell you,” I laughed as he kicked a Sprite can into the road, suddenly holding his finger up and beginning to walk backwards so he could talk to me better.

“Okay, so. An Italian, an Englishman and a gay man all die and find themselves atheavens gates. At the gates an anonymous voice tells them they’ve led a bad, sinful life but they shall get one chance to return to Earth and redeem themselves. Then the voice quickly adds that they must pay a price, the Italian isn’t allowed pizza, the Englishman isn’t allowed to play Cricket and the gay is not allowed to practice Sodomy, they can’t to any of these things for one whole day. They agree and are sent back down to earth where they all begin to walk along the street. The Italian sees a pizza restaurant, runs in and takes a bite of pizza suddenly disappearing. The two left tell each other they have to be strong . A cricket ball and a bat are being sold outside a sports shop and the Englishman runs over to it excitedly.
‘One game can’t hurt,’ he says, bending down to pick up the cricket ball. The gay man suddenly disappears,” Gerard grinned and bowed as I chuckled.

“Fantastic Gerard, you really should do stand up,” I joked as he shoved his free hand in his pocket and chuckled, “Y’ know if you un-tucked your shirt and lost the briefcase -you could pull off being my age. My mum would fall for it anyways. She might invite you to tea,” I laughed as Gerard un-buttoned his shirt to reveal a Blag Flag band tee. He opened his briefcase and attempted to stuff everything in, just managing to fit his jacket in.

“Where am I meant to put my briefcase though?” he asked, his brow crumpling.

“We’ll put it in the garage, behind something. Dad only parks the car and gets out,” I said, “Tuck your hair behind your ears,” I told him, he did so before grinning.

“Do I look dorky enough to you now?” he asked, pushing his hands back into his pockets and walking up the drive, “Is your mom allowed to know we date?” Gerard asked as I tucked his briefcase behind a work top, I shook my head.

“She’ll think we’re having sex and not let me up to my room,” I told him, pushing the side door to the garage open and letting him step through. I let myself in through the back door, letting Gerard shuffle in after me, “Mum! I’m home, I got a friend over!” I yelled, dumping my rucksack on the counter top.

“I’m in the study!” she called back, I walked through the dining room towards the study, telling her again that I had a friend over, “It’s a boy?” mum asked, like it was the biggest sin since treason, “Who?”

“Uh, Steve,” I said quickly as Gerard came in, his brow wrinkling a little at his new name.

“Well, that’s good –listen Ren, me and your father have a dinner to go to tonight, so you’ll be on your own a bit alright?” mum said, I nodded and shrugged, gesturing with my eyes that we were going to leave, “And keep your bedroom door open,” she said quickly before I closed the door. Gerard chuckled under his breath and we both jogged up stairs.

“You’re mom’s kinda stupid –no offense or anything,” Gerard snorted, “I mean she doesn’t recognize me from before, she’s doesn’t realise I’m twenty eight and she’s going out tonight,” he laughed, flopping down on my bed, making the springs creak. He kicked his shoes off and let them thud to the floor before he buried his face into my pillow tiredly.

I followed his lead and clambered up beside him, pressing the power button on my television to turn on whatever film I was last watching. I pulled myself up beside Gerard, sighing out heavily when he immediately attacked my neck with sultry kisses.

“Gerard,” I said, attempting to be stern, “My mum’s down stairs she’ll shit if she comes up -also the door isn’t closed properly,” I murmured, trying to catch my breath when he turned over so his stomach was winding mine. I couldn’t tell whether it was deliberate or not.

“She won’t suspect anything if you shush that lip of yours,” he grinned, his hand coming out and grabbing a random C.D which he rammed into my player quickly, kicking my door shut smoothly with his foot, “Ren…” he said, raising his eyebrow when California Dreaming came one, “The Beach Boys? Isn’t that little lame?” he asked, I blushed and shrugged, “You’re a weird kid,” he muttered, pushing his lips to mine.

“Shove off, I don’t wanna risk mum coming up,” I sighed when he tried to get his shirt off, ending up in a tangle of black material. He managed to get it off before he threw it over his shoulder, “Gerard, off me now-“ I said, getting cut off by my phone which was vibrating rapidly in my back pocket.

“Goddamn phone,” Gerard mumbled, sitting back on his knees as I tugged it out and flipped it open.

“Hello?” I asked.

“It’s Mikey.”