Once Upon A Time, Back In Highschool

“Hey,” I said, Gerard mouthed a ‘who is it’ at me, “Hey dad,” I lied.

“I’m guessing he’s with you?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, mum told me about that,” I said, hoping that Mikey would get that the ‘yeah’ stood for Gerard was here.

“Oh okay. Perfect,” he said sarcastically, “I have something to show you –it’s not pretty mind you. I don’t think you’re gonna like Gerard as much when I show you either. He told me he was dating some one younger yesterday. He didn’t say who or how young though –but I guess it’s a start,” Mikey said, I could hear him walking through his house.

“What is it?” I asked, trying to wriggle away from Gerard who was trying to distract me by un-looping his belt form the hooks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“That night you guys went out. The club right? Six6Six? You said you couldn’t remember what happened?” When I didn’t reply he carried on, “Gerard videoed it. What you did. I’m not going against my brother, honest to God –but I think you should have the DVD,” Mikey finished apologetically, “I’m sorry, Ren. I didn’t want to watch it but Gerard was so persistent –you know how he can get. I don’t want to slag him off or anything but I think he was too proud of his video to be ashamed of what’s happening on it. Just please leave him before things go a stray for you too.”

He put the phone down. I swallowed and put a brave, fake, false expression on.

“Bye dad,” I said to the dialling tone.

“What’s up? You’ve turned a little white, or is itthe sight of my extremely gorgeous self,” Gerard joked.

“It was just my dad, asking about dinner and stuff,” I shrugged, beginning to feel a sick position play with the bottom of my stomach, “Y’know G? I kinda feel a little sick right now. I don’t really wanna do it,” I said, pulling myself out from underneath him, loosing my jeans in the process, and crossing my legs.

“Ren,” he whined in this swingy voice, the type a five year old cousin uses when they want you to play chase, “Your mums not gonna find out okay?” he murmured, pecking underneath my ear tenderly, “Just lay down, we don’t have to rush,” he continued.

“Gerard please. Just leave me be. I feel sick,” I mumbled, rolling onto my side whilst trying to push myself under my duvet away from him. I needed time to think about what Mikey said, I didn’t want Gerard smothering me. I pulled the cover over my head, hearing him sigh out before scrabbling in after me, “Gerard-“

“What? I’m not allowed cuddles anymore either –do I repulse you that much? The thought of even being near me naked makes you feel sick, does it? And now I can’t even touch you!” he said, getting all hysterical and emotional.

“Calm down! No, that’s not it at all –you’re overreacting, I just feel sick-“

“Yeah, you started to feel sick when you saw me naked, how perfect. Thanks for that –I feel so goddamn loved. I bet it’s the bruises -isn’t it? If I ever see that motherfucking Zorro again I’m gonna kill him!” he suddenly smacked his hand over his mouth.

“You didn’t mean it,” I said, “It’s fine, just… lets just cuddle for a while, okay?” I said, pulling my arm round his shoulder so his head was resting on my chest.

“Darling!” mum suddenly called up the stairs, “I’m going now, I’ll be back at eleven -any problems just call!” she yelled, slamming the front door before even hearing a good bye.

“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean I’d kill him. I didn’t want to kill him,” Gerard said into the cavern of the blanket, “I couldn’t help myself though… I can never help myself,” he said lightly, his voice wobbling like an old record.

“Gerard please don’t cry again. I can’t take it when you cry,” I said quickly. I heard him hiccup and my stomach gave this horrible twist, like a vice, “Don’t!” I begged, “Stop crying. I’ll do anything,” I whimpered as he cried regardless, the back of his throat making high squeaky sobs from him trying to keep them in. His face grew red as he clamped his eyes shut, his brow wrinkled and his lips clamped. His body convulsed with each strangled squeak before he suddenly let out a gag. He sounded like he was dying, I didn’t know what to do.

I slithered down so I was facing him, even though he tried to turn his head away so I couldn’t see him crying. I pressed my lips against his, continuing down his chin, his neck, his collar bone. I was willing to do anything to stop him from crying so horribly. I took a deep breath, feeling him hiccup and try to sit up from his previous position.

“Doll? What’re you doing?” he asked thickly, sniffing hard before trying to lift the covers, “Dolly?” he questioned.

Everything began to get humid, like when you breathe into an empty bag. Everything becomes damp and misty. Gerard had rammed a pillow over his face as a barricade to stop himself from yelling too loudly and alerting the neighbours. In the back of my mind I knew I shouldn’t have done it to him, I shouldn’t have done anything sexual to him. But if you’d have been there you’d have seen how tortured he looked -I couldn’t help it.

Gerard squirmed delightedly, his foot coming up and rubbing the back of my ankle encouragingly. I hoped dad would just go straight to the party with mum, although I made a solid guess he’d come back for a shower first. I think it was just luck that Gerard finished right as my phone began to vibrate across my desk. I tried my best to keep everything clean before crawling out under the humid duvet and pushing back my hair so I could answer my phone.

Dad said he’d be back in half, luckily giving Gerard plenty of time to calm himself down a little. He looked peaky; his eye lashes clumped at his bottom lip a little swollen and dry. But otherwise he looked content... flushed but content. He sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

“Sorry, I’m all emotional today,” he chuckled, “God I feel exactly the same way I did when I first saw you,” he chuckled again, rubbing at his face. I looked at him curiously, “Clammy, tired, flushed, confused, besotted and horny,” he laughed, I bashed his arm playfully.

“I think I’m glad?”

“You should be. I don’t even know what besotted means and I’m using it for you.”