Andy, You're A Star

She had her stuff packed up, she'd said her goodbyes, and she even visited her parents before we headed to the airport.

Shauna and Tommy decided that they would let me take her alone; said it was what would be best for me. Like anything could make this situation better.

I held her hands, almost afraid to let go. I knew that it was going to be hard on her, and I knew that she wasn't going to L.A. just to visit her brother. She never mentioned to want or need to see him. Not that she didn't miss him. I could see that much in her eyes on the few occasions that she did mention him.

But what I was afraid of (and I'll be damned if I've ever felt this afraid before in my life) was that I wasn't going to keep my promise. It hurt to think about, to believe that I probably wouldn't be the one standing here in this airport three months from now, waiting to see her brilliant smile or that angelic blush that painted her ivory cheeks whenever I would tell her I loved her, or that she was the most beautiful person I'd ever encountered.

It was true; I did love her. I loved her so much that it was hard for me to be standing here, watching her leave without trying to stop her.

And to think that I'd only known her for such a short time. She was the most important person in my life at this very moment, but I only met her in November. Of course, I'd had her in classes for years now, but I never knew her like I did now.

"It's really happenin' then," I said quietly, and she jumped slightly at the sound of my voice.

"Guess so," she sighed, and her pink cheeks were suddenly pale again, colorless. She stared up at me and looked scared, but not for the same reasons that I was scared.

"S'okay, love. Your brother with take care of you, or I'll give him proper arse-kicking," I joked, and she laughed. The sound was broken and distorted; her eyes were swimming with tears that threatened to fall.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," I frowned as the first tear slipped out. She blinked and it trickled down her cheek, before I swept it away with my thumb.

"Can't help it, Ol," she shrugged leaning into me. She pressed her face into my chest, and I sighed, wrapping my arms around her. She was so little; it was amazing. I was always told that I was small for my age, but Andy was barely past the hundred pound marker. She was soft though, delicate and powerful, though she didn't look the latter.

I think that she didn't trust me as much as she led on; every time I told her I would be here when she got back, she would get this look in her eyes. She masked it well, but I've been studying that face for seven months, and I easily saw the change. Her eyes grew wary, and I knew she was doubting my ability to stay committed, much like I was myself.

I glanced at a clock located on the far wall and mentally added up the time we had left.

"The plane will be leaving soon, babe," I leaned down and whispered, feeling her tense up. She looked up at me again, and her lower lip was quivering. It was a heartbreaking expression, and my chest hurt just looking at her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled my face down to hers; I obliged eagerly, desperate to feel those pouty pink lips against mine for as much time as possible before I would be without them for three months.

I lifted her from the ground and continued to kiss her, feeling her heart thrumming against her chest.

A voice came over the loud speaker, announcing that her plane would be departing in ten minutes.

I pulled away and she groaned, burying her face in the crook my neck and hugging me closer. I struggled not to tear up myself as I clutched her to me, before setting her feet on the ground. She stood on tip-toes and kissed me again, over and over quickly, before pressing one last long kiss on my lips.

After she broke away, she straightened herself out, pursing her lips and looking determined as she lifted her carry-on bag from the floor, and slung it onto her back. We had already checked her luggage on earlier, before we came to the terminal to wait.

"I'll call when I get to Dan's house," she told me, and I smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'll be waitin'," I promised, and she smiled once, a small sad smile, before looking at me for a long moment.

"Goodbye Oli," her voice quivered, and I was close to losing my hard self-control.

"See you soon, Andy," I replied, and she nodded once, before turning and walking away.

I could feel my will crumbling as I watched the girl of my most frequently reoccurring dreams disappear into the sea of travelers. The first tear was shed when I turned and started for the exit, intent on heading back to my car and getting home as soon as I possibly could so that I could wallow by myself.

Tom and Shauna were cuddling on the couch when I returned home, kicking off my shoes and wiping my wet eyes. They watched me with sympathetic looks, Shauna seeming like she was about to say something. She stopped herself though, probably at a loss for words, before I hurried up to my room and shut the door behind me.

There were an impossible amount of reminders of Andy all over my room; I had to bury my head under my pillows that still smelled of that wonderful mix of vanilla and fabric softener. I didn't mind the fabric softener as much as the vanilla smell of Andy's perfume; it was very subtle in contrast to the warm, delicious scent that had my eyes gushing more tears.

Eventually I calmed down enough to sleep, but when I finally did find dreams, they weren't happy ones. Not in the least.

Welcome to Hell.

Population: me.