Andy, You're A Star

When we arrived home, Mrs. Sykes was rushing out of the house toward the car.

"Andrea, my goodness, you're even more beautiful that before! I hope you had a wonderful time in Los Angeles, but I'm glad you're home. We all are. Even my very foolish, very blind son whom we shall not name," she grinned and winked, wrapping her strong, thin arms around me. I laughed; I was in high spirits not. Oliver wasn't the only part of my life here, and I wasn't going to let him ruin my homecoming with his "conflicts".

"Hi Mum. I missed you so much! And my trip was great. I made a lot of new friends," I told her, and she smiled, leading me into the house.

"Oh honey, that's so great! And this new hair-do is so wild! I can see my boys have been rubbing off on you. It suits you well, dear. Come now, let's have some supper," she insisted, and rushed me inside.

After dinner, we sat in the den and I told them about everyone in California and about all the different American things I experienced and such. Mr. Sykes couldn't make it home from work on time for dinner, but he came in during one of my many stories and I hopped up and gave him a big hug. He laughed his deep, raspy laugh and pinched my cheek affectionately, before going to change out of his work clothes.

Eventually, after Shauna had gone home and Mr. and Mrs. Sykes went to bed, it was just Tom and I sitting in the den, watching the telly and talking quietly.

"How has he been, Tom? Just a summary, don't need details," I added, afraid that I would hear something to crush my mood.

"He's hurting. Archel, the girl he's been...hanging out with, she's real sweet, but when he talks about her, he compares everything about her to you. You're the one he wants, but he thinks that you deserve better. He's not a bad person, you know that and I know that, but he doesn't understand that. Never seen him more confused, hun. Just needs to be set in the right direction, you know?"

"Why...why was he..." I paused, trying to think of a way to word my question, "why did he give up, Tommy?"

"He wants you to be happy, Andy, and he doesn't think that he's the one who can give you that happiness."

"But he is. He's the one I want," my voice was small. I didn't feel like crying now, but I was still in pain. Why did Oli have to be so stubborn? Couldn't he just give himself up and let me love him?

We both fell silent when we heard the front door open and close. I stared at Tom with wide eyes. I wasn't ready to see Oliver.

"Closet," Tom whispered, and I bolted to the closet with accordion-shutter doors and slipped inside. I got them shut just before Oli rounded the corner, rubbing his temples. I bit my lip hard so that I wouldn't call out his name and I had to anchor myself to the floor so that I wouldn't run to him. He was hurting, I could see that. The way his eyebrows creased and his fingers massaged his temples told me he had a headache or something like it.

"How was the date?" Tom asked, pretending to watch the telly.

"A mess. Archel is great, but..." he trailed off, and my heartbeat was erratic after hearing his voice.

"She's no Andy," Tom finished for him, and Oli sat down on the coffee table in front of Tom, demanding his attention. I listened intently, even after Tom had shut off the telly and a silence filled the room.

"Is she here, Tommy? You said she was coming home today," Oli said quietly, and Tom lied smoothly.

"She's visiting her mum and dad. Said she wanted to see Annie."

"O'course. How is she? Does she look well? Or happy?" Oli questioned, and his voice was strained. I didn't know what to make of it.

"She's changed a lot. And she looks exhausted. You're wearing her out with these games you're playin'," Tom said, and Oli sighed loudly.

"What do you mean she's changed?"

"Well, for one thing, she's stunning. She's gained a little bit of weight, makes her look a little more...there, you know? And she got a new hair style. It's right up your alley, Ol. Wardrobe change too. Very suitable for the new Andy," Tom explained, and I was glad that he noticed all of this. I hadn't pegged Tom for the observant type, but he did well.

"New?"

"Don't worry, Ol. She still loves you," Tom grinned, and Oli cracked a smile, before sighing.

"When's she s'posed to get back?"

"Soon. Been gone a while."

"I'm gonna head to bed, then. You waitin' up for her?"

"Someone's got to," Tom snickered, and Oli smacked him upside the head.

"Night, Tom."

"Want me to relay a message to Andy?" Tom asked, and Oliver paused for a few moments, before shrugging.

"Tell her I said welcome home," he decided.

"You could tell her yourself. She's still staying here. Gonna be hard to avoid her for long."

"Got all night to think of something to say to her. Just tell her 'welcome home' for me, please."

"Sure thing, bro," Tom grinned, and Oli messed his hair before sauntering out of the room.

I could hear Oli's footsteps going up the stairs, and faintly the sound of his door shutting told me I was clear to come out.

"That was a disaster, Tommy. He's moved on," I sighed, feeling a little depressed.

"Nonsense, Andy. I know Oliver better than anyone, and he's hangin' from a thread. Don't worry. We'll get him," he grinned, before standing from the couch and giving me a big hug.

"I'm headin' to bed. I'll see you in the morning," he kissed my forehead, smiled, and went up the stairs to his room.

I stood in the dark by myself for a long time, playing and replaying all the words Oli had spoken.

Maybe there was hope.

Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as I thought.

I went up to my room, which was exactly the way I left it, and sat on the edge of the bed, running my fingers over the smooth, comforting bedspread.

It was good being home. I could hear Oli's music through the wall if I really listened. He was listening to Glassjaw, which was rare because Oliver was more about the fast, heavy riffs of bands like Slipknot and Mushroomhead. There were only two situations when Oli would take out the more mellow, more hearty music. When he was depressed, or when he was thinking very hard. I suspected it was a bit of both, judging by what he was like downstairs.

It was hard for me to stay in my room, to not walk those few short feet down the hall and peek in at him. I wanted so badly to go into his room and feeling his fingers gripping my sides and his lips against mine and my hands running through his always soft hair, it was almost painful to deny myself the urge.

Instead, I dug through my backpack and pulled out a CD that Jeremy had given me. It was an artist called Regina Spektor, who was a relatively unknown woman (at the time) but her music was brilliant in a subtle way. It wasn't what I was used to, but I loved it the same. It was very fun to sing along to, as well.

Listening to it made me think of Jeremy, so I sat on the bed again and pulled out my sidekick. I told him I'd send him a video message when I got home, so I put my sidekick on video mode and pressed play after turning the music down a little.

"Hey Jer, Andy here. I'm home in Sheffield, and it's bleedin' cold here, but I was expecting it. Just wanted to let you know I'm safe and alright by the loose definition of the word. Haven't talked to Oli yet, he was in bed already when I got back in. Wish me luck for tomorrow. Tell Jane I said 'hello' and give me a call tomorrow whenever you wake up. Chances are I'll be awake. G'night Jeremy!" I blew a kiss to the camera and hit the record button again to stop it.

I hit send and flipped my phone shut, noticing for the first time that Oliver's music had stopped. I grabbed the remote to my stereo and paused it, glancing at the light coming in under my door.

Someone was standing outside my room, but they hurried away when my music was silenced. Seconds later, Glassjaw was murmuring in the next room again. I sighed, shutting off my stereo completely, and stripping myself of my jeans and t-shirt, before climbing into bed.

My phone blinked and I flipped it open, reading the text I just got from Jeremy.

YAY! Home sweet home, right? Hope your flight was alright, and good luck with Oliver. Jane says 'I love you baby.' I'll talk to you tomorrow. <3

I laughed quietly and plugged my phone into the charger, as it was almost dead, and settled into bed.

With Oliver in the next room, I managed to hold back my cries so that he wouldn't hear.

I had no control when I fell asleep, and I feared that my nightmares would give me away.

Oliver's POV

I heard her talking in her room and assumed that she was on the phone. She'd said 'Jeremy'. He must have been a friend of hers from L.A.

I slipped off my bed and walked quietly, making a point not to make any noise. I avoided to creaky spots in the hallway and stood outside her door with my ear pressed against it.

"-and alright by the loose definition of the word. Haven't talked to Oli yet, he was in bed already when I got back in. Wish me luck for tomorrow. Tell Jane I said 'hello' and give me a call tomorrow whenever you wake up. Chances are I'll be awake. G'night Jeremy!"

Hearing her voice, even muffled by the door, made my spine tingle and my hands shake. Suddenly, her music stopped and everything was quiet in her room. Shit, I thought, and hurried back to my room still trying to be quiet. Her music didn't continue, and so I turned mine back on and lied on my bed.

I wondered what I was going to do. Tom was right, I wasn't going to be able to avoid her for very long. And from what I gathered, she was going to confront me tomorrow. I had no idea what I was going to say to her.

I mean, it was bad enough hearing the pain in her voice, but seeing it color her face and flame in her eyes was a whole other story. Who was I trying to fool, besides myself? I wasn't going to be able to stay away from her, much less hurt her in the process.

I wasn't willing to just give up, though. I had to think about another person that I would hurt by welcoming Andy back with open arms: Archel. She was sweet and somewhat innocent; she didn't deserve to be hurt by my conflicted feelings.

I just wanted to make everyone happy, but either way somebody was going to get hurt.

What I had to do now was decide who I was willing to destroy for their own good.

A while after I'd re-entered my room, I heard muffled cries and whimpering coming from Andy's room. I wasn't sure if she was awake or just having a nightmare, but it triggered a sharp pain in my core to hear her making those horrible sounds.

It made my decision easier.