Andy, You're A Star

I sat on the couch, my head resting on the back, and stared at the ceiling. It was white, and spackled, and as I squinted and looked closer, I realized I really hated it.

I guess I didn't hate the ceiling itself, but the fact that I couldn't touch it, no matter how hard I would try. It was like so many other things in my life. Untouchable. Out of reach.

That stupid ceiling that hung a good thirty feet above my head and all it's little bumps that threw tiny shadows everywhere from the morning sun that blinded me when I woke up alone, was obscured by someone's fat head leaning over the stair railing a story above me.

"Don't think too hard, Andy. You might hurt yourself," Tom grinned, and I sighed, flipping him off. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I wanted to be by myself. And Tom was ruining it all.

"He's going to be back. It's just band practice," he informed me, making his way down the stairs.

"Shut up, Thomas."

"Someone's cranky. That time of the month?" he smirked, and looked too much like Oli for my liking.

"Piss off."

"As you wish," he rolled his eyes, and disappeared into the kitchen.

I continued staring at the ceiling, and realized another thing. This living room was way too big. It was one of those crazy set ups, where the stairs and second floor hallway overlooked the entire living room and even with tons of furniture and floor-to-ceiling windows, there was too much extra space.

Unlike the ceiling though, I loved this room. It was always so bright and open and pretty.

I sighed loudly.

This morning, I woke up alone again.

I was kind of alarmed at first, but I found a piece of notebook paper folded in half and sitting on Oli's pillow.

I read it, and my heart sank.

Babe,
Real sorry I weren't there when you woke up. Looked so damn cute while you were sleepin'. Din't want to disturb you. I'm at practice; we decided to start early so we had time to get ready for Friday. Be home 'round noon.
We'll go out when I get back, kay?
Love you,
Ol

When I woke up, it was only nine o'clock.

I looked at the clock again, and heaved another sigh.

Ten-oh-four.

Fuck my life.

I tried to think of something fun to do for the next two hours.

It didn't really work. I mean, I thought of a few things, but they would all most definitely take more than two hours. Like, I could go visit my parents. Or I could get a hold of Tyler.

But if I went with either of those plans, I would be gone for a good chunk of time, and probably wouldn't be home when Oli got home.

There was one other thing that I could do, but I would probably get into a lot of trouble for it. I'd been meaning to talk to Archel, to figure out what she was like and talk to her about a few things. I didn't even know if she knew anything about me before that horrible incident at the party the other night.

I thought for a bit longer, before sighing and heaving myself off the couch. I walked up those stairs that look over the living room and went down the hall and into Oli's room. He was bound to have her phone number somewhere in her. I scanned the room quickly, before spotting his cell phone sitting on his dresser.

I smiled to myself and made my way over. It didn't take long to find her number; her name was all over the recent calls list. I ignored the sick feeling I got when I saw that and jotted down her number, before I left Oli's room and went down the hall to my room.

A minute later, I was sitting cross legged on my bed, staring at the piece of paper with Archel number on it.

I couldn't just call her and be like "Yeah, stop fucking around with my boyfriend."

It's been a big whopping day since we got back together, I couldn't have expected Oli to just call her up and tell her it was over immediately. He would be an arse if he did that.

I sighed, and lied back on my bed, letting my phone and the paper slip out of my hand. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the hell I was thinking.

For all I knew, Oli was over at Archel's house and they were doing god knows what. It wasn't fair of me to think that way of Oli, but I had kind of blackmailed him into taking me back. I used my weakness as an advantage, and I shouldn't have, but what was I to do? The only person I've ever love was walking out on me, and I was essentially powerless.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm thankful for what conspired at that party. I would give everything I have to go back and just sit Oliver down and force him to listen to me instead of trying to make him jealous, but I can't. Everybody makes mistakes. I'm only human.

So Oli really had no motivation to come back to me, besides that I needed someone to keep me from falling to pieces. That hardly proved he loved me.

Just thinking about all of this shit had tears forming in my eyes. I was getting really sick of crying, but it kept getting harder and harder to hold my emotions inside.

I needed to talk to Oliver. I had no idea what I would say, but I needed to say something.

Maybe I would just tell him that I loved him, and let him decide the rest.

No. That was a horrible idea, if I had any hopes of maintaining my dignity.

I groaned, rolling off my bed and going to my dresser to get dressed. I couldn't just sit in the house and wait for him to get home. It would drive me insane.

I slipped out of my shorts and tank top, then my bra and panties, before pulling out a fresh zebra print bra and matching thong. After I put them on, I had to decide what else I was going to wear. I stood in front of my closet, trying to decide, my eyes scanning the rows and rows of blouses and dresses and other articles of clothing.

I heard the front door slam downstairs, but I thought nothing of it, figuring Tom had left to go get Shauna.

A few moments later, a painfully familiar voice called out my name.

"Andy? Where you at, babe?" It was Oli.

"In here," I called back, and could hear his footsteps, quick and loud on the wooden hallway floor, coming toward my room.

"What're you....helloooo," he cut himself off when he came in and saw me standing there in my underwear, my back to him. It wasn't the first time he's seen me in my undies, but I could still hear the surprise in his voice.

He let out a low whistle and came closer to me. I looked at him over my shoulder, and his eyes were moving over me again and again. I felt my face growing hot as he approached.

"I don't know what to wear," I told him, turning back to the closet to hide my blush.

"Think you look great just like this, love," he smirked, and I shivered when I felt his fingers sliding over my sides, creeping forward over my stomach. I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning back into him.

"I can't very well go out in my skivvies, Ol. I'll get arrested," I smiled, and his lips fell on my neck, placing soft kisses all over my skin.

"Then lets stay in. We can both get down to our undies," he suggested, and I would have said he was joking if he didn't sound so serious. And it was a hard offer to resist, but I couldn't stay cooped up in this house much longer. I needed school supplies.

"As much as I'd love to do that, I really need school supplies. And so do you. So help me pick something out," I told him, and felt when he sighed. His warm breath rushed over my skin, causing me to shiver again.

"Wear whatever you want, Andy," he started moving away from me, and I frowned, slipping my fingers between his and holding him to me. He sure was grumpy today.

"Heyyy, what's that for?" I pouted, turning to look at him.

He had a slight scowl on his face.

"What?" he demanded, and I smiled slightly at him, wrapping my arms around his waist. His hands were resting on my upper arms, like he was getting ready to push me away.

"Don't be crabby. Shopping won't take long, and then we can come home and be inappropriate all we want, okay?"

He smiled a little around the edges, and nodded slightly.

"Smile honey," I said, standing on my tip-toes and kissing him. When I pulled away, he grinned widely, before placing his hands on either side of my face, and kissing me again, deeper this time. My stomach flipped and clenched.

Faintly, in the back of my mind, I thought about what Oli had said when I told him I was leaving. That it scared him to love me. That it almost hurt.

And while he kissed me now, I thought that I knew what he meant.

For possibly the first time, Oli and I seemed to be on the same page.