How Could This Happen to Me?

Kivi led me back down the dark corridors to his large office. I took my normal chair on the right, as he sat behind his desk. He looked at me for a moment, he cleared his though, then he opened his mouth to speak. He closed his mouth, and re-opened it. He was starting to look somewhat like a fish behind a glass bowl.

“Madeline,” he finally spoke, “as you know, I bought you for T.J Hanson. The original plan was to give you to him two days after his birthday. Now he has requested he get you earlier because he frets something will happen to you. Tomorrow is his birthday, and the day you will be taken to his home,” he finished with an apathetic tone.

“What,” was all I could manage.

“You are leaving sooner than planned. You're five days are up, you are getting out of my house.” He seemed a little to happy about that.

“Fine, this is only a small step in getting what I really want anyway,” I lied. I really wanted to be here with Kegan. I wanted to be Amanda so badly. Then again, on the other hand all I wanted was to see my brothers and sister again.

“What,” he asked in shock.

“This is only a small step. If I stay here I wait a month before I see my siblings. If I go with T.J, I could try and talk my time down,” I explained.

“You are trying to ruin my son's engagement, and all you want are your siblings?”

“Oh, I'm not trying to ruin your son's engagement. I believe that his fiancée is doing that quite well. And all I've ever wanted was for those kids to be safe,” I half hissed, half yelled at him. He raised a questioning brow as if I was crazy.

“It's true Mr. Vaara. I was the closest thing to a mother Abby, Benny, Greg, and Paulie ever had. Our family was poor and our parents often acted like they didn't care. Do you realize how many times Abby and I went hungry just to feed the boys.” His eyes widened in shock. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't speak, he just stared at me with those wide shocked eyes. “All I want is my family.”

“T.J is going to have a party tomorrow at his house. I will allow you to call you're siblings in the morning to invite them. I'm sure Derek won't mind. He adores kids.”

“Thank you, Mr. Vaara.” He nodded and waved his hand in a signal of dismissal. I walked out into the hall way and went the familiar way to my room. Only when I got there I found something strange.

Kegan sat with his head in his hands just as before. I looked at him. I mean, I really looked for the first time. His skin didn't seem as pale as a vampire's skin should be, he had the beauty of the living dead. He seemed all to perfect for some odd reason. I never noticed that about him. Even his mood swings made sense to me now, but that didn't help the ache in my heart as I thought about leaving him. I shouldn't have lied so well to Kivi. I shouldn't have lied at all.

“Shouldn't you be with your fiancée,” I questioned a little bitterly as I stood next to where he sat. The spot he occupied just happened to be in front of my door.

“Regan's distracting her. Jeremy is play with Naomi, who should be here any minute, and Lydia is basically thinking lectures,” he explained as he sat unmoving.

“What's wrong, Keg?”

“I messed up, Maddie. I messed up.” This time those gray green eyes looked at me and they looked blood shot.

“What'd you do?” He shook his eyes as he adverted his gaze. He didn't say anything, he just sat staring at the wall. “Kegan, I want to help you, but if you don't talk to me I can't.” I sighed loudly. He didn't look at me, but he opened his mouth like his father had earlier.

“I think,” he whispered, “I accidentally fell in love with the wrong girl.”

“What?”

“Madeline. I should have never taken you to that place. I'm sorry, it wasn't meant for you. None of this is meant for you.” He got up from his spot on the floor. He looked directly into my eyes with those blood shot eyes. He looked absolutely miserable. “What I did, that kiss. It was all a huge mistake.” He took a step away from me, but I grabbed his arm.

“You are the biggest, and most horrible liar I have ever met in my life,” I hissed as I released his arm and threw open my door.

“Madeline,” he retorted in a voice that could only make me think of the saying misery loves company. I answered by simply slamming the door in his face.

“Can this possibly get any worse,” I half screamed.

“You have no idea,” Kegan though to himself.

“Maddie! It's me, come on. I promise no one is around not even Lydia. Let me in,” Naomi plead for the thousandth time.

“Fine,” I said as I got off my bed.

My pillow was soaked to the core with my tears. I shouldn't have let myself cry over Kegan, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't control the emotions. Even though I knew he lied, it still hurt to hear him basically tell me I meant nothing to him. I don't know where I went wrong. I started out hating him, and then suddenly we were on the roof in the most secluded spot I could ever imagine. I wanted to beat him to death when he said it was a mistake. Oh well, all I could hope for was that T.J would learn to like me, and not treat me as bad.

“It's about time,” Naomi said playfully as she scurried past me into the room.

“Sorry. I was having an all time worst crying fest ever.”

“What's wrong.”

“Nothing, come on Mimi, you don't want to hear about it anyway.”

“Yes I do. Please tell me Maddie, it'll make you feel better.”

“You tell me what happened with Jeremy first!”

“Well, we have been hanging out since you were in the hospital and everything. So then today Kegan pulls the invisible man trick. We go looking for him. Regan suggests splitting up, so Jeremy grabs my arm and pulls me off down the halls. We shout his name for a while before Regan suggests we look in this room that he thinks is Kegan's. We get in there, and it's set up with candles and it was so sweet. Nothing happened. We just a very good make out session. Have I told you how hot I think he is?”

“No why don't you?”

“Because you were telling me about your problems.”

“No, you can go first.”

“Madeline!”

“Okay fine,” I started telling her the long story. Kegan's rudeness on the first day. Kegan's attempts and succeeding to get under my skin. And last but not least, the kiss.

“Whoa,” she said in awe.

“I was supposed to hate him Mimi. He flipping bashed my head in, and I kiss him. Then he tells me that kiss meant nothing and he loves her, and I cry for four and a half hours. What's wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you. I promise nothing is wrong with you.”

“There has to be.” I whimpered as the tears began to come back.

“Awe, okay. Stay here let me go get Lydia. We'll make you over okay.”

“Yeah, maybe I can look half way decent this time with T.J.”

“And he doesn't deserve you.”

“Neither does Kegan,” I said sharply, hoping he heard every syllable.

“No, he doesn't. Now I will be back in five. Do not do anything stupid or irrational.”

“I won't,” I sighed. She walked towards the door, and I feel back on the couch that was in front of a TV. I quickly found the remote and turned the television on. I started channel surfing immediately.

I found an old episode of Bam's Unholy Union, which I usually didn't watch, but it was one with Missy and wedding planning. I couldn't help but to imagine Amanda's wedding, and wish I could be her walking down that isle in the beautiful silk white gown that would fit perfectly. Hair up in perfect curls with small some loose curls falling gently around her face. It wasn't fair. I could feel myself start to tear up once again. “How could this happen to me? Am I really that bad,” I asked God himself. I knew I wouldn't get an answer. I just couldn't stop the question from flowing through my sad lips.