How Could This Happen to Me?

Kegan's POV

“I know that dad, but is she going to be okay,” T.J growled for the tenth time. Of course she's going to be okay. She has to be okay. If she's not okay. Then I would know what really happened. I would know that I played a part in her death, and I can't handle that.

“She's going to be fine,” Derek said calmly. I rolled my eyes once again as the back door opened to reveal none other than my Twin.

“Hey guys, how's she um,” he trailed off. I wanted to roll my eyes again. She's fine for Christ's sake I can hear her heart beating almost normally now. She is fine.

“She's doing a lot better. She'll be okay Reg,” Derek said more sincerely. “Why don't you go prove me right and check on her.” Regan nodded as Derek told him where T.J had put her last night.

She is fine. I don't understand why Derek keeps acting as if this is a big deal. So she got scared and ran, away from me. She's fine. I smiled as I heard the shower start running. Apparently no one in this house could hear but me because Regan looked so sad, and T.J looked ready to kill Arizona and me both. I think I had the better end of the situation though because Arizona was strapped to a bed in a random room because Derek was trying to fix all his broken bones. His broken bones are what made me smile when I came to check on Madeline this morning. “Can we kill him when he's better,” T.J asked roughly. He sounded like he got less sleep than I did last night, and I didn't sleep at all.

“No, Kegan beat you to what I would have considered letting you do. I am not allowing you to kill anyone or thing,” Derek said harshly to his son. I smiled to myself as I thought about what I could have done to my cousin. Then I frowned because I didn't do it.

“I need a serious break from all of this,” T.J growled once again as he glared at me. I smirked slightly, then I heard the sound of the water stopping. I tried to ignore all of her sounds, but it was impossible to ignore her. I don't know how T.J and Regan did it.

“You don't hear that,” I hissed at him as I tried to cover my hears.

“Hear what,” Derek asked.

“How much louder is her heart going to get. It's driving me insane, not to mention I can practically hear everything she does. She's putting on clothes for crying out loud. I shouldn't hear that. I shouldn't know that, but I do.”

“That's odd.”

“Tell me about it.” T.J again glared only his glare this time had more annoyance in it.

“I'll be back later,” he said in a monotone as he rushed out of the back door. I could hear him growl and his bones shift as he jumped from the porch.

“This is going to be a long day.”

“You have no idea Kegan. You have no idea.”

Derek and I sat in the kitchen he drank his coffee and I drank my sweet tea. I wanted to do something or say something, but nothing came to mind. I just sat there sipping my tea. I surprisingly couldn't hear her voice any more luckily. I really didn't want to hear what Regan was listening to. I could only imagine all the horrible things she could possible think about me now. The thought of her thoughts made me think; I don't deserve to be here. I don't need to be here with her. She should end up with T.J even though he'd probably leave her a million times for Star. He's an idiot.

“I have to go Derek. I'll see you later man,” I said as I set his glass back on the table. I got up from my chair with him giving me a questioning look, and just walked out of his house. There was nothing I could say that would explain to him what was going through my head. An old saying struck me though.

“If you love them; let them go. If they want you; they'll come to you.” My grandmother use to tell Regan and me that every time we got ready to leave her house. “Let her go Kegan,” I told myself as I got back into the car I had driven. I didn't even look back to see Regan and Madeline staring out of one of the many windows.