How Could This Happen to Me?

T.J didn't say anything for a few moments. He just sat there still looking all to sad. I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted to hug him, but I was afraid to. I was afraid that if he did or said all the right things like he had been doing lately, then I might not want to go back to Kegan. My head was so confused, but all I could think about was Kegan's car leaving me here. All I wanted was to rewind and be back on the roof with him. There were so many things we could have done differently, but there is one thing that I wouldn't have changed to save my life. I knew that kiss probably meant nothing to him but it meant everything to me, and I couldn't just give up on him with out a fight. No, I wouldn't give up on him without telling him everything I felt.

“Why,” T.J stuttered slowly. “Why are you going after him?”

“Because T.J, love makes people do crazy things.”

“Love,” he chocked out. I nodded afraid to look at him. Afraid to move an inch, and afraid that I wouldn't get my happily ever after. Suddenly, my thoughts were broken as he took my face into his hands. He forced me to look into those breath taking neon green eyes. I wanted to run, but worst of all, I wanted to stay right there. I wanted to be with both of them, but I couldn't, and I had made my decision a long time ago.

“T.J,” I whispered as my eyes began to fill with water. He sighed, but he didn't let my face go.

“Kegan doesn't know what love is, Maddie,” he said almost instinctively. “Kegan doesn't know how to treat you, and you will probably get hurt.” Tears filled my eyes to the brim now. I could almost feel the first tear drop roll down my eyes.

“T.J, Kegan is a good person, and so are you. I just, I made up my mind a long time ago. I'm sorry,” I whispered through the tears.

“I know. I know,” his words were barely audible, but his lips were centimeters away from mine. “Don't be sorry.” He pressed his lips gently to mine.

This kiss wasn't like the one I had shared with Kegan. It was less intense and more gentle. This was something I knew T.J needed, and I knew he needed reassurance. I could give him reassurance, but I did kiss him back for a moment. I felt something start in my fingers, and go all through my body. It wasn't that electricity of passion that I felt with Kegan. This was something different. It felt as if my bones were freezing instead of being shocked. At first I thought it was because I couldn't get Kegan out of my mind, then I realized it was because I love him. I love Kegan, and there's no point in lying anymore.

T.J finally pulled away from the kiss and smiled sadly at me. “It's okay Maddie. I don't mind, just promise we'll be friends. Promise you won't be one of those people who end up being a birthday present, and fall in love with the wrong guy, then kiss the right guy, only to never talk to him again.” I mirrored his sad smile. I couldn't deny him a simple request of friendship.

“I promise T.J. I will come back and we'll keep in touch, but I can't be anything more than just your friend.” He rolled his eyes in a knowing way. He let go of me, and I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before half running down the stairs. “Bye T.J, and thank you!”