Here Without You

Fast forward 2 weeks

I was currently in Phoenix Arizona. I was in this small bookshop right in the city. For the last two weeks I was in Las Vegas and here in Phoenix Arizona. I was looking in the baby section for that book what to expect when you’re expecting. I was flipping threw the book when I felt a bang of guilt. I felt bad for not telling Brian.

After all this time I was currently 2 months and a week pregnant and I still haven’t told Brian. I knew that Brian had told me once that he wanted kids, but I still don’t know how he’s going to react to this. As I flipped more threw the book I got guiltier. There he was worried and at home waiting for me and I didn’t even tell him about something this important. All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed Brian, for the past few weeks I had been feeling like something is missing, like a part of me was missing and now I know.

It’s Brian, I needed Brian. Even though I talked to him everyday I still missed him. I quickly paid for my books and got into my van. I stopped at the gas station and filled up the tank while buying some drinks and snacks. I didn’t want to make unnecessary stops while I made my way home. I felt happier than I have in ages. I knew that it was time to go home.

I had been driving for a few good hours when my phone rang. I flipped it open to find Derek on the other line. “Hello?” I said as I waited for a response. “Brenda?” said a stuffy voice. “Derek, what’s wrong?” I asked as I started to panic he sounded like he was crying. “Bren, it’s horrible…. Grandpa’s dead” as soon as he spoke those words my heart felt like it shattered.

My grandfather was put into the hospital after his car accident and went into a coma about a year ago. It broke my heart because my Grandfather and I were really close. He was the person I would go to for advice, he’s the one that taught me how to play guitar. He was the only one who believed in me from the start that I would make it big. My eyes glazed over with tears.

“Derek, I’m coming home… I’m only a few hours away” I said before I hung up. I drove faster to get home. All the way threw my drive I was crying and remembering my grandfather. I remember the first few weeks he was in the hospital I would go and sit by his bed for hours talking to him, hoping he’s wake up. After a few weeks I stopped going because it hurt too much to watch him like that.

I haven’t talked about my grandfather since the accident. I don’t even think I mentioned him to Brian. I was so busy thinking that I suddenly realized. I was back in Huntington Beach. I quickly drove to the first person I needed to see. My grandmother, she must be torn up about this. I needed to stop and make sure she was alright. I pulled up to the Familiar Street.

Even though I haven’t been here in a long time I still knew how to get here. It was like my second home. I pulled up to the drive way and got out. The house still looked the same. I got out and walked up the pathway. I stood in front of the door and took a deep breath. I knocked on the door and a few minutes later the door was opened to reveal my grandmother.

She took one look at me and then pulled me into a warm hug. I took in her scent; she even smelled the same, cinnamon and apple pie. I loved that smell. “Hi gram’s” I said with a shaky voice. “Oh my little girl has come home. Oh Brenda it’s just horrible” she said as she began to sob. I hugged her and let her cry. She pulled away after a few minutes and led me into the house.