To Find a Little Piece of Heaven You Must First Go Through Hell

*two weeks after the guys left*
It was a long day of work – the place was packed today. As I got out of my car, I noticed that there were tire tracks on my driveway. Boy was it was weird living alone. Waking up all alone in a bed in the morning and going to bed alone at night. In a few days Rayne would come over here and we would live together until the guys got back. I was excited for that. Otherwise, these four months were going to drag. Anyway, back to the tire tracks. I looked down at them and felt them – they were still fresh. I shook my head and stood up and felt two arms grab me. I started screaming but I was muffled by a hand soon after. I saw the words “Too Fast for Love” tattooed on it and I immediately knew who it was. It was Blake. He drug me back into his car and locked the doors. I was terrified; so terrified that I couldn’t even speak. He took off and started driving down the road and I sat up. “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked. He smirked at me. “Getting my girl back” he said. I didn’t know what to do. I certainly couldn’t call anyone; I would get my phone taken away for sure. I decided to do a blind text message – put my phone behind my back and feel with my fingers for the right keys and letters. I decided to send it to Coby – I made it out to say that I was in deep trouble and to get to Blake’s house A.S.A.P. I pressed send and then carefully slid my phone into my back pocket. We pulled into Blake’s driveway and I turned around to see if Nate was home. He wasn’t – he was at work. I was drug out of the car and into the house, where I was sat down on the couch and the door was locked. “Blake, please don’t do this” I said. He got on top of me and started kissing my neck. He pulled away to speak. “Why not?” he asked. “Because I know the real Blake; the real Blake wouldn’t do something like this” I said. “How do you know that?” he asked. “We’ve known each other since we were three years old Blake, I think that I know you” I said. I looked into his eyes; red circles were forming around them and his skin was very pale. “You’re, you’re using again” I said. “Yep” he said. I heard brakes squeal in the driveway and I knew that Coby was here. He kicked the door in and came to my side. After a few minutes of the two men circling around and from my pleading to let me go, Blake pulled out a gun. “You had better leave Jacoby” said Blake. “And if I don’t?” he asked. He cocked the gun. “I’ll shoot” said Blake. I started trembling and Coby pushed me behind him. “I’m going to count to three. When I whisper three, run to the car and lock the doors” he whispered. I started crying a little bit. “Coby, no! You’ll get hurt!” I whispered between sobs. “I’ll be fine. I’m doing my job here, Bells. Just know that I love you very much, okay? And I love mom and dad, too. Tell them that I said that” he said. It was almost like he knew that he was going to die. “One” he said. I couldn’t control my crying. “Two” he whispered. Blake’s hand started shaking as he aimed the gun right at Coby. I started crying harder. “Three” he said. I started running and as soon as I got to the car I heard a gunshot. I ran across the street to Nate’s house and unlocked the door with the spare key that he had given me – I had to call 911, and quick.
(phone convo Be = Bella, Op= 911 operator)
Op: 911, what is your emergency?
Be: Hi, um, my brother was shot. (That was all I could manage to say)
Op: What is your location?
Be: 386 Harlem Drive
Op: Okay, we’ll send out an ambulance
Be: thanks

I hung up the phone and just slid down the door and on to the floor. My brother, the person that I loved more than anyone else in the world, was more than likely dead. I couldn’t help to think that it was my entire fault. He died protecting me. I felt like a piece of shit. I started bawling harder than I had ever cried before. I stayed there until the ambulance came and took Coby to the hospital. Blake had split before they had gotten there; he was long gone. I got up to my feet and ran across the street and got into Coby’s car. I sat there for a good ten minutes trying to stop crying and I finally stopped enough so that I could see the road. I started the car off and took off towards the hospital.
*six hours later*
It was 11:00 at night now. I was sitting on Tobin’s lap at the local hospital waiting to hear the news. Jerry, Dave, Jess, Chris, Rayne (Chris and Rayne do NOT get along at all, but when they’re with me I make them), Laura, Nate, Liana and Tony were all sitting in the chairs next to us in the waiting room. I could not stop crying. I had been crying since 5:00 that evening and I wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. I was surprised that I hadn’t passed out yet. My head was throbbing like crazy and I couldn’t stop shaking. “Bells, you need to calm down” said Tobin. He made me take another sip of his coffee. It wasn’t going to help. The only three things that were going to help me right now were 1: Strangling Blake, 2: My brother being okay, and 3: Zacky and the guys being here. I had only talked to Zacky six times since he had left – he was awful busy. He kept assuring me that he wasn’t going to cheat. I wasn’t worried about that right now, though. All I was worried about was my brother. I finally stopped crying as the doctor came in. “Miss Shaddix?” he asked. I let out a deep sigh and stood up. “Come into the other room please” she asked. I went into the other room with her and she stopped. “I’m so sorry” she said. I started shaking immediately. “Your brother didn’t make it” she said. I started bawling again and she gave me a small smiled. “I’m sorry” she said again. I ran back out into the waiting room and just started breaking down. “My brother’s dead” I mumbled into Tobin’s pant leg. “Oh Bella” said Tobin. I just started bawling uncontrollably. It was my fucking entire fault. I was carried out to the car by Jess and she sat me down in the passenger’s seat of Tobin’s car. “Just know that we all love you hun. And Coby does too” she said. I shook my head and she patted my back. “I love you Bells” she said. She pulled me into a hug and I squeezed her back. I then heard male sobs and looked over to my left; it was Tobin. I had never, for the life of me seen Tobin cry before. It was really intense. It just made me cry even harder. Jerry then came over; sobbing like a four year old would if they dropped their ice-cream cone on the ground. Dave then came over (he was now 100 percent clean) and the four of us just sat there, in the hospital parking lot, bawling our eyes out in a huddle. I was officially a complete wreck.