To Find a Little Piece of Heaven You Must First Go Through Hell

It was two days after Jacoby had died. “I can’t do it Tobes” I said. Tobin came over to me and gave me a hug; and for once it wasn’t a bear hug. I just sobbed into his shoulder. I looked horrible. My eyes were bloodshot from all of the crying, and my face was very pale. I hadn’t been eating too much either. But Tobin was with me 24/7 now, so it wasn’t like I was going to get an eating disorder. I wasn’t answering my phone; I’m sure Zacky’s worried now. He’s probably flipping out. I decided to call him after the funeral was over. If I could emotionally make it to the end of the funeral. Mom and Dad were staying with me for a couple of days; it was great seeing dad again, but I could care less about my mother. She had always been a bitch to me, and Coby had always prevented that, but now that he was gone... “Come on sweets, let’s just get this funeral over and done with” said Tobin. He wiped a tear from his eye and we left the house to the church. I cried the whole way there. We got there 10 minutes later and I saw everyone there – Chris, Jess, Ash, the twins, Tony, Dave, Jerry, Rayne, Nate, Laura, Liana, Gena, and my parents. I just started shaking and my dad took my in his arms. “It’s alright sweetie” he cooed. I just wished that were Coby saying those words to me instead of him. I looked up at him and tears were rolling out of his eyes. It was pain that I had never experienced before; seeing my dad cry. My mother was standing not too far away from me, giving me a dirty look. I hated her so much. I just took a seat between Rayne and Tobin and the priest started talking away. Soon after, the priest asked if there was anyone that was willing to speak on Jacoby’s behalf. I wished I could, but I was just too shaky. Tobin and Rayne both had to hold be so I didn’t shake too much. I just sat through the ceremony and the burial shaking and every now and then a tear would drip down my face. I felt like a murderer.