To Find a Little Piece of Heaven You Must First Go Through Hell

*that night at the concert*
I had been sitting backstage for the past two hours waiting for the guys to get done. I was talking to Jenni, Matt's new vocal coach. Turns out she has a huge crush on him; and wonders how much longer she can go without wanting to makeout with him during one of the lessons. "I think he lieks you Jenni" I said. "You really think so?" she asked. "Sure! You're pretty and you have a great personality. What's not to like?" I said. "Awe, thanks" she said. We sat there for a few minutes in silence - her talking on the phone to another client and me texting Rayne and Tobin. I missed them terribly. But it was going to be too hard to heal being home. This was just what I needed - me being here. It reminded me of Coby and how I used to come on summer tours with him. How rugged his voice sounded. How he could put smiles on people's faces no matter what. How he'd light up a stage. I was going to miss it all. I then shut my phone as I heard five loud screams coming from the tunnel. I guess the show was over. "Babe!" Zacky yelled. He came over and caught me in his arms; squeezing me tightly. "Hun, you're sweaty" I said. He backed away. "Sorry" he said. I laughed and saw Matt smile at Jenni. I smiled to myself and then felt Zacky's warm hand grab mine. "Let's go back to my, er, locker room" he said. We walked through a dingy hallway and into the locker room. It was a total dump. There were stains all over from who knows what and the smell of marajuana. The walls were painted a crappy blue. He kissed me lightly. "How was the show?" I asked. "Eh, good. Not our best, but good" he said. I smiled at him. "What?" he asked. "I love you" I said. "I love you too" he said. He kissed me again and there we stood for about five minutes in a liplock. Then he pulled away. "I've gotta go meet fans. Why don't you stay back here for a while? It's going to be hectic" he said. I nodded. "Alright" I said. "Okay, see you" he said, pecking my cheek and leaving the room. I grabbed a Sobe from the mini fridge. I was going to need it. I plopped on the couch and took a huge sip. "Why Blake?" I asked the wall. Of course, it didn't answer. I wanted answers. Why did my brother have to die? Why? I started sobbing and after a good ten minutes of it I looked back at the wall. I saw Coby. "Bella, listen. Do you really think this is the right way to get over this? To sit here, alone, and cry every chance you get? You're a Shaddix, Isabella. Act like one. Be strong" he said. I nodded. "You're right. But that still doesn't mean I'm going to ever forget you" I said. "I'm not expecting you to" he said. I smiled through the tears. "I'll miss you" I said. "I'll miss you too. More than anything. But we'll be together again someday" he said. He smiled that classic Coby smile and then disappeared. Part of me was happy about this, but the other felt retarded for talking to a wall. I stood up and someone knocked on the door. I opened it slowly to see Rev. "Hey Jimmy" I said. "Hey Bells. Zacky sent me to check up on you. You look like you've been crying. What's up?" he asked. I paused. "Jimmy, sit down" I said. We both sat down on the couch and I sighed. "Jimmy" I said, "Coby died". He didn't say anything. After a few minutes I looked over at him - a single tear was cascading down his face, smearing his eyeliner. I hugged him, then looked down at our shoes; his black converse and my purple ones. After what seemed like an eternity, I let go. "It'll be fine. We'll all get through this " I said. "Who did it?" he asked. "Blake" I said. His fist clenched. "That son of a mother fucking bitch" he said. I patted his shoulder. "Let's not ruin the night" I said. "You're right. Let's go" he said. "Where's Zacky?" I asked. "Brian said he needed to talk to him" he said. Good; that made me feel better. We looped arms, I grabbed my Sobe, and we walked out of the room and down the hallway. When we reached the backstage area, fans were mobbed everywhere. I looked around and then saw a hand waving up in the air that I recognized as Jenny's. I left Jimmy and went over to Jenni, who squeezed me in her arms and squealed. "Matt asked me out!!!" she said. A smile rose on my face. "That's awesome!" I said. Matt then came up behind her and put his arms around her. I smiled at him and he smiled back. "I'm happy for you guys" I said. "Thanks" they chorused. I then spotted Zack. "Well, I'm going to get my monster" I said. They both laughed and I ran over to Zacky and hopped on his back. "Hey you" he said. He leaned back to put me on the ground and then put his arm around me protectively. Brian smiled at me and kissed my forehead. "Zacky told me" he said. I nodded. "We all feel bad babe" said Zacky. "I know" I said. "Well, I'm off, to the club with Johnny. See you two later" he said. We both waved and Brian walked away. "Let's go to the bus" said Zacky. "Okay" I said. We walked down another hallway and out a rusty door to the parking lot, where the Avenged bus sat. We got on and locked the doors. He then wrapped his arms around my waist and plopped us both down on the bed. "Us time" he said. I couldn't agree more. I leaned in and kissed him, moving down to his neck. He growled deeply and I giggled. "I see where this is going" he said. He had me strattle him and he ran his hands up and down my legs as I took off his shirt. "Ready to get sweaty again?" I asked. "You're naughty" he said. "So?" I asked. "It's not a bad thing" he said. I smiled and he took off my shirt. "Get my a balloon, will you?" he asked. I got a trojan out of the box sat under the bed and he positioned us differently so he was on top of me. What a night. I DID need that Sobe.